Kosta i talem se: “Mi mo Sofiaa i mared bitim 39 yia, nao hem i ded from wan bigfala sik we hem i kasem longtaem finis. Mi gat plante fren we oli sapotem gud mi, mo mi meksua se mi bisi oltaem. Be blong wan ful yia, mi harem i soa olsem we wan man i katem bodi blong mi. Ol filing blong mi oli olbaot. Naoia, tri yia i pas finis, be sam samtaem mi harem nogud tumas, mo plante taem filing ya i kasem mi we i no givim woning nating.”

?Olsem wanem? ?Yu bin lusum wan famle we yu lavem hem tumas? Sipos yes, ating yu kasem save long filing blong Kosta. I no gat plante samting we i mekem yumi harem nogud moa, i bitim taem hasban o waef blong yumi, wan famle o wan fren blong yumi, i ded. Ol man we oli stadi long bisnes ya, oli talem sem samting. Wan buk (The American Journal of Psychiatry) i talem se, “plante man oli harem se hemia we i ded i lus blong olwe, mo oli harem nogud bitim mak.” From samting ya, plante man oli askem se: ‘?Wetaem ol rabis filing ya bambae oli finis? ?Bambae mi glad bakegen samtaem? ?Olsem wanem blong winim?’

Wekap! ya i tokbaot ol kwestin ya. Nekis haf bambae i tokbaot ol filing we oli save kasem yu taem wan famle blong yu i jes ded. Ol narafala haf oli tokbaot samting we yu save mekem blong winim filing ya blong harem nogud bitim mak.

Mifala i hop se magasin ya bambae i leftemap tingting mo givhan long eni man we i stap harem nogud from wan famle o fren we i ded.

Sam man we oli gat save oli talem se taem wan famle i ded, yumi gotru long ol defren step blong harem nogud. Nating se i olsem, yumi wanwan i gat prapa fasin blong yumi blong harem nogud. ?Hemia i min se samfala oli no harem nogud, o oli stap “haedem” ol filing blong olgeta? Maet i no olsem. I tru se taem yumi soemaot filing blong yumi, samting ya i save mekem yumi kam gud moa. Be fasin blong ol man blong harem nogud i no sem mak. Plante taem i dipen long kantri we yumi gruap long hem, prapa fasin blong yumi, ol samting we i hapen finis long laef blong yumi, mo samting we famle blong yumi i ded from.

?BAMBAE MI HAREM NOGUD MOA YET?

Maet yumi no save se filing blong yumi bambae i olsem wanem sipos wan famle i ded. Be i gat sam filing mo hadtaem we oli kasem klosap evri man, taswe i gud yumi rere from olgeta. Tingbaot hemia:

Yu harem nogud bitim mak. Yu krae, yu wantem tumas blong joen bakegen wetem hemia we i ded, mo fasin blong yu i stap jenis kwiktaem nomo. Ol memori mo drim tu oli save mekem se yu harem nogud tumas. Fastaem, maet yu sek nogud mo yu no save bilivim se hem i ded. Tina, we i lusum man blong hem Timo, i talem se: “Fastaem mi no gat wan filing nating, mo mi no save krae tu. Samtaem mi harem se i had blong pulum win. Mi no save bilivim se hem i ded.”

Yu wari, yu kros, mo yu harem se i fol blong yu. Ivan i talem se: “!Mi mo waef blong mi Yolanda, i kros taem Erik, boe blong mitufala we i gat 24 yia, i ded! Mitufala i sek long fasin blong mitufala, from we mitufala i no man blong kros. Mo tu, mitufala i harem se i fol blong mitufala. Mitufala i sud mekem moa blong traem halpem hem.” Aleksanda tu i harem se i fol blong hem taem woman blong hem we i sik longtaem finis, i ded. Aleksanda i talem se: “Fastaem mi ting se mi wan rabis man, taswe God i letem mi mi safa olsem. Afta, mi harem se mi mi rong from mi stap blemem God.” Mo Kosta, we yumi tokbaot finis, i talem se: “Samtaem mi harem se mi kros long Sofia from we hem i ded. Afta, mi harem se mi mi rong blong gat filing olsem. I no fol blong hem.”

Tingting i olbaot. Sam samtaem yu save gat tingting we i no stret o i olbaot. Maet yu ting se yu save harem, tajem, o luk hemia we i ded. Maet i had blong yu putum tingting blong yu long wan samting, mo yu stap fogetem ol samting. Tina i talem se: “!Samtaem mi stap storian wetem wan man be mi stap tingting long narafala samting! Tingting i flae olbaot, mi stap tingbaot bakegen mo bakegen ol samting we i hapen taem Timo i ded. Mi no save putum tingting i stap strong long wan samting, mo hemia i mekem mi mi harem nogud.”

Yu no wantem joen wetem ol narafala. Taem ol narafala man oli stap raonabaot long yu, maet yu harem se yu kros o yu no glad long olgeta. Kosta i talem se: “Taem mi stap wetem olgeta we oli mared, mi harem se mi no moa stret blong joen wetem olgeta. Be i sem mak taem mi stap wetem olgeta we oli no mared.” Waef blong Ivan i talem se: “!Taem mitufala i stap traehad blong winim bigfala trabol ya, i had blong stap wetem ol man we oli komplen from ol smosmol trabol! Mo tu, samfala oli stap talem olsem wanem ol pikinini blong olgeta oli gohed gud. Mi glad long samting ya, be i had blong lesin long olgeta. Mitufala i kasem save se laef blong ol narafala i stap gohed nomo, be mitufala i no wantem tingbaot samting ya.”

Ol problem blong helt. Plante man oli no wantem kakae, bodi i godaon, mo oli no slip gud. Eron i tingbaot samting we i hapen long ol manis afta we papa blong hem i ded, i se: “Mi no slipgud nating. Mi stap wekap long semtaem evri naet, mo mi tingbaot ded blong papa blong mi.”

Aleksanda i kasem ol narakaen problem blong helt, i se: “Plante taem dokta i jekem mi mo i talem se hem i no faenem wan sik. Mi ting se, from we tingting mo filing blong mi i trabol tumas, mi harem nogud long bodi tu.” Sloslo ol trabol blong helt oli lus. Be i gud we Aleksanda i go jekap long dokta, from we taem yumi harem nogud tumas, bodi i no moa strong blong faetem ol sik. Mo tu, sipos yumi gat wan sik, hem i save kam moa nogud, o yumi save kasem wan niufala sik.

I had blong mekem ol wok blong yu evri dei. Ivan i talem se: “Taem Erik i ded, mitufala i mas talemaot long ol famle mo ol fren, mo ol narafala tu olsem bos blong hem mo olgeta we hem i rentem rum long olgeta. I gat plante pepa tu we mitufala i mas fulumap. Afta, mitufala i mas karemaot olting blong Erik long rum blong hem. I nidim paoa blong mekem ol samting ya, be mitufala i slak long tingting, bodi, mo filing.”

Afta we smoltaem i pas, samfala oli luk se i had moa, from we oli mas mekem ol samting we famle ya we i ded i bin mekem bifo. Tina i talem se: “Oltaem Timo i lukaot long mane mo bisnes blong mitufala. Be naoia mi mas mekem ol wok ya. Taem mi harem nogud olsem, mi no wantem ol wari ya. Mi no sua sipos mi mi naf blong mekem o bae mi spolem evri samting.”

From ol trabol ya long saed blong filing, tingting, mo bodi, maet yu ting se i had tumas blong harem gud bakegen taem wan famle i ded. I tru, yumi harem nogud bitim mak, be sipos yumi save finis ol filing we maet oli kasem yumi, samting ya i save givhan. Tingbaot se, i no evri man we i kasem olgeta filing ya. I gud blong tingbaot tu se i no rong blong harem nogud.

?BAMBAE MI GLAD BAKEGEN?

Samting we i save hapen: Sloslo bambae yu no moa harem nogud tumas. Hemia i no min se bambae yu “kamgud fulwan” o yu fogetem famle blong yu we i ded. Be sloslo, ol nogud filing we oli kasem yu bambae oli godaon. Maet oli kamaot bakegen taem yu tingbaot wan samting o long sam spesel taem, olsem dei we i makem mared blong yu. Be bighaf blong ol man, tingting blong olgeta i kamgud bakegen mo oli save mekem ol samting long laef blong olgeta evri dei. Hemia i tru moa taem ol famle mo fren blong olgeta oli sapotem olgeta, mo taem oli traehad blong winim filing ya blong harem nogud.

?Bambae mi harem nogud kasem wetaem? Samfala oli harem nogud blong sam manis nomo. Be plante, oli nidim wan o tu yia blong harem gud bakegen, mo samfala oli nidim moa taem.a Aleksanda i talem se: “Mi mi harem nogud tumas blong tri yia.”

Yu mas gat longfala tingting. Yu no wari long tumora be tingbaot tede nomo. Yu no hareap tumas, yu slo nomo, mo yu tingbaot se filing ya blong harem nogud bambae i finis wan dei. ?Be olsem wanem? ?I gat sam samting we yu save mekem blong yu harem gud smol, mo sloslo yu kam gud?

Sipos yu lukaot advaes blong givhan long yu blong harem gud bakegen, bambae yu faenem plante, we sam oli gud mo sam oli nogud. Maet hemia from we, yumi wanwan i gat prapa fasin blong yumi blong harem nogud, olsem yumi talem finis. Maet advaes we i givhan long wan man i no givhan long narafala man.

Nating se i olsem, i gat sam impoten advaes we i givhan long plante man finis. Sam man we oli wok blong givhan long olgeta we oli harem nogud, oli givim advaes we i klosap sem mak long ol waes advaes blong Baebol, wan olfala buk we ol tok blong hem i stret yet long yumi tede.

1: LETEM OL FREN MO FAMLE OLI GIVHAN LONG YU

• 

  Sam man blong givim advaes oli ting se hemia i impoten tumas. Be samtaem maet yu wantem stap yu wan, mo maet yu kros long olgeta we oli traem givhan long yu. Klosap evriwan oli kasem filing ya taem wan famle blong olgeta i ded.

• I nogud yu ting se ol narafala oli mas stap oltaem wetem yu, be i nogud tu sipos oltaem yu wantem stap yu wan. Tingbaot se, maet bambae yu nidim ol narafala blong sapotem yu. Long kaen fasin, yu save talem long olgeta, samting we yu nidim mo samting we yu no nidim.

• Traem spenem taem wetem ol narafala mo tekem taem blong stap yu wan, olsem yu nidim.

ADVAES BLONG BAEBOL: ‘Fasin ya we tu man i stap joen wanples blong mekem wan wok, hem i moa gud. Sipos wan long tufala i foldaon, narawan i save givhan long hem blong i girap bakegen.’—Prija 4:9, 10.

2: KAKAE GUD MO MEKEM EKSASAES

• Sipos yu kakae gud, hemia bambae i givhan long yu taem yu stap traehad blong winim filing ya blong harem nogud. Traem kakae ol defdefren kaen frut, ligim, mo ol kakae we i givim paoa.

• Dring plante wota mo ol nara gudfala dring.

• Sipos yu no hanggri, kakae wan smol samting plante taem long dei. Yu save askem long dokta tu blong i givim sam meresin we i gat ol gudfala samting we bodi i nidim.a

• Sipos yu wokbaot plante mo mekem sam narafala eksasaes, hemia i save daonem ol nogud filing. Taem yu eksasaes, yu save tingbaot hemia we yu lusum, o yu save tingbaot wan narafala samting.

ADVAES BLONG BAEBOL: “I no gat man we i no laekem nating prapa bodi blong hem. Man i stap fidim bodi blong hem mo i stap mekem i gud long hem.”—Efesas 5:29.

3: SLIP PLANTE

• 

  Oltaem slip i impoten, be i moa impoten taem yu stap harem nogud, from we filing ya i save mekem se yu taed bitim mak.

• Lukaot gud se yu no dring tumas kofe, waen o bia, from we ol dring ya oli save mekem se yu no slip gud.

ADVAES BLONG BAEBOL: “I moagud yu spel smol i bitim we yu hadwok tumas oltaem, hemia i olsem we yu stap ronem win nomo.”—Prija 4:6, NW.

4: RERE BLONG MEKEM SAM JENIS

• 

  Tingbaot se yumi wanwan i gat prapa fasin blong yumi blong harem nogud taem wan famle i ded. Yu nomo yu mas faenemaot wanem samting i stap givhan moa long yu.

• Plante oli luk se taem oli talemaot ol filing blong olgeta long narafala, hemia i givhan long olgeta, be samfala oli no wantem tokbaot. Ol man blong givim advaes oli talem defdefren tingting long saed ya. Sipos yu wantem talemaot filing blong yu be yu fraet, maet i isi moa blong talemaot sam smosmol samting fastaem long wan gudfala fren.

• Samfala oli faenemaot se taem oli krae, hemia i givhan long olgeta, be sam narafala oli luk se i moa gud taem oli no krakrae tumas.

ADVAES BLONG BAEBOL: “Sipos samting i spolem tingting blong wan man, man ya nomo i save harem nogud from samting ya, narafala man i no save harem nogud olsem.”—Ol Proveb 14:10.

5: BLOKEM OL FASIN WE OLI SAVE SPOLEM YU

• 

  Samfala we oli harem nogud taem wan famle i ded oli dring tumas o tekem drag blong traem harem gud bakegen. Oli stap traem blong “ronwe” long trabol blong olgeta, be samting we oli mekem i save spolem olgeta. Maet oli harem gud blong smoltaem, be biaen bigfala trabol i save kamaot. I moa gud blong traem ol rod we oli no spolem yu, blong mekem tingting i kam kwaet.

ADVAES BLONG BAEBOL: “Yumi mas wasemaot ol samting we oli mekem bodi mo tingting blong yumi i kam doti.”—2 Korin 7:1.

6: MEKEM SAM NARAFALA SAMTING

• Plante man oli luk se i gud blong mekem sam narafala samting blong jenisim tingting blong olgeta. Olsem nao, oli no stap tingbaot oltaem hemia we i ded, mo harem nogud from.

• I gud yu faenem sam niufala fren o spenem taem wetem ol olfala fren, lanem sam niufala wok we yu harem gud blong mekem, mo joen long sam pleplei.

• Sloslo, maet yu luk se yu spenem moa taem long ol narafala samting i bitim taem we yu stap harem nogud, mo hemia i save givhan long yu blong kam gud.

ADVAES BLONG BAEBOL: “I gat wan stret taem blong evri samting, . . . wan taem blong krae mo wan taem blong laf, wan taem blong harem nogud mo wan taem blong danis.”—Prija 3:1, 4, NW.

7 :FOLEM WAN PROGRAM

• 

  Folem bakegen program blong yu. No letem tumas taem i pas.

• Sipos yu folem wan program blong slip, wok, mo mekem ol narafala samting, bambae yu harem se laef blong yu i no olbaot.

• Sipos yu bisi blong mekem ol gudfala wok, hemia i save daonem ol nogud filing.

ADVAES BLONG BAEBOL: “Nating we man ya i savegud we laef blong hem i sotfala, be bambae i no save wari tumas long samting ya, from we God i letem hem blong i stap glad long ol samting ya we i stap hadwok long hem.”—Prija 5:20.

8: NO HAREAP BLONG MEKEM OL BIGFALA DESISEN

• Plante we oli hareap blong mekem ol bigfala desisen, biaen oli save harem nogud.

• I gud yu wet fastaem bifo we yu muvaot, jenisim wok, o yu sakemaot ol samting blong famle ya we i ded.

ADVAES BLONG BAEBOL: ‘Man we i mekem gudfala plan, hem i save kasem plante samting, be man we i stap wok hareap, neva hem i save kasem i naf.’—Ol Proveb 21:5.

9: TINGBAOT HEMIA WE YU LUSUM

• 

  Plante we oli lusum wan famle, oli luk se i gud blong mekem ol samting we i pulum olgeta blong tingbaot hem.

• Maet yu harem gud blong hivimap ol pija mo narafala memori, mo putum olgeta long wan buk wetem ol stori blong sam samting we i bin hapen.

• Holem ol samting we oli mekem yu yu tingbaot ol gudfala taem we yu gat wetem hem, mo luk ol samting ya taem yu harem se i stret.

ADVAES BLONG BAEBOL: “!Olgeta bambae oli no mas fogetem taem ya blong yumi!”—Dutronome 32:7.

10: GO SAMPLES BLONG SPEL

• I gud yu tingbaot blong go spel samples.

• Sipos yu no save tekem wan longfala spel, maet yu save spenem wan o tu dei blong mekem samting we yu laekem, olsem wokbaot long bus, visitim wan musium, o mekem wan sot trip.

• Sipos yu mekem wan narafala samting blong smoltaem, hemia i save givhan long yu blong winim filing ya blong harem nogud.

ADVAES BLONG BAEBOL: “Yufala i kam, yumi go long wan ples we i no gat man long hem, blong yufala i save spel smol.”—Mak 6:31.

11: HALPEM OL NARAFALA

• 

  Tingbaot se taem yu halpem narafala, yu stap givhan long yu wan blong yu harem gud bakegen.

• Yu save givhan long ol narafala we olgeta tu oli harem nogud from hemia we i lus, olsem ol fren mo famle we oli wantem tokbaot filing blong olgeta wetem wan we i kasem save.

• Taem yu givhan long narafala blong i harem gud bakegen, yu yu glad, mo yu harem se yu stap mekem wan gudfala samting.

ADVAES BLONG BAEBOL: “Man i harem gud moa taem hem i givim samting long narafala, i bitim we hem i kasem samting.”—Ol Wok 20:35.

12: MAKEMAOT SAMTING WE I MOA IMPOTEN

• Taem yu lusum wan famle, yu kasem save moa long samting we i rili impoten.

• Tekem janis ya blong tingbaot olsem wanem yu stap yusum laef blong yu.

• Jenisim tingting blong yu long samting we i moa impoten, sipos yu luk se i gat nid.

ADVAES BLONG BAEBOL: ‘Sipos yu go long wan haos we dedman i stap long hem, hemia i save givhan moa long yu, i winim we yu go long wan lafet, from we i stret blong yumi stap tingbaot oltaem, we bambae yumi evriwan i mas ded.’—Prija 7:2.

I tru se i no gat wan samting we i save tekemaot fulwan, filing ya blong harem nogud. Be plante we oli pas long rod ya oli talem se taem oli mekem ol gudfala samting we yumi tokbaot finis, oli harem gud moa. Hemia i no wan lis blong evri samting we yu save mekem. Be sipos yu traem folem ol advaes ya, maet bambae yu luk se yu no moa harem nogud tumas.

OL MAN OLI STADI PLANTE LONG FASIN YA BLONG HAREM NOGUD TUMAS TAEM WAN FAMLE I DED. Be olsem yumi tokbaot finis, advaes we i beswan i sem mak long ol waes advaes blong Baebol. Hemia i soemaot se Baebol i save lidim yumi tede olsem we i lidim ol man long taem bifo. Be Baebol i no fulap long ol gudfala advaes nomo. I gat ol save long Baebol we yumi no save faenem long narafala ples, mo i save givhan bigwan long olgeta we oli harem nogud from wan famle we i ded.

• Famle blong yumi we i ded i no stap safa

  Prija 9:5 i talem se: “Ol man we oli ded finis oli no moa save wan samting.” “Ol tingting blong olgeta i finis.” (Ol Sam 146:4, NW) Taswe Baebol i talem se taem man i ded, i olsem se hem i stap slip nomo.—Jon 11:11.

• Strong bilif se God i lavem yumi

  Ol Sam 34:15 i talem se: “Hae God [“Jehova,” NW]a i stap lukluk long ol stret man, i stap lesin blong harem krae blong olgeta.” Taem yumi talemaot ol filing blong yumi long God long prea, hemia i no blong mekem yumi harem gud nomo o blong mekem tingting i stap kwaet. Hemia i givhan long yumi blong fren gud wetem God, nao hem i save yusum paoa blong hem blong mekem yumi harem gud bakegen.

• Tingbaot ol blesing long fiuja

  !Traem tingbaot taem ya we olgeta long beregraon bambae oli laef bakegen long wol ya! Plante vas blong Baebol i tokbaot taem ya. ?Wol bambae i olsem wanem? Baebol i talem se, God ‘bambae i ravemaot wota blong ae blong yumi. Nao bambae i no moa gat man i ded, mo man i no moa krae from man we i ded. Bambae i no moa gat man i krae, mo man i no moa harem nogud long bodi blong hem.’—Revelesen 21:3, 4.

Plante man we oli bilif se Baebol i kamaot long Jehova God, oli naf blong winim ol filing blong harem nogud, from we oli trastem hop we Baebol i givim se ol dedman bambae oli laef bakegen. Ann, we i lusum hasban blong hem afta we tufala i mared 65 yia, i trastem hop ya, mo i talem se: “Baebol i soemaot se ol famle blong yumi we oli ded oli no stap safa, mo se God bambae i mekem ol man we hem i stap tingbaot olgeta, oli laef bakegen. !Mi tingbaot promes ya taem mi harem nogud, nao mi naf blong winim trabol ya we i moa nogud i bitim ol narafala trabol long laef blong mi!”

Tina, we yumi tokbaot finis, i talem se: “Stat long dei we Timo i ded, mi harem se God i stap givhan long mi. Taem mi harem nogud tumas, mi haremsave se han blong Jehova i stap sapotem mi. Mi bilif strong long promes blong laef bakegen we Baebol i tokbaot. Promes ya i givim paoa long mi blong gohed go kasem dei ya we bambae mi luk Timo bakegen.”

Tingting blong Tina i sem mak long plante milian man we oli trastem promes blong Baebol. Maet yu ting se ol tok blong Baebol i no save kamtru o i wan drim nomo, be i gud yu traem save long ol pruf we oli soemaot se ol advaes mo promes blong Baebol oli tru. Maet yu tu yu faenemaot se Baebol nao i givim help we i beswan, long olgeta we oli stap harem nogud from wan famle we i ded.

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