Aliens​—How Can They Cope?

“LOOK,” retorted 17-​year-​old Jaroslav, tired of being teased because he is Ukrainian, “my parents came here [as] refugees.” He explained that they had lost their own country and that even if they wanted to, they couldn’t go back now. This experience, documented by author John Brown in his book The Un-​melting Pot, reveals the typical struggle for acceptance that many immigrants and aliens have to endure. This youth found out the hard way that being apologetic about his foreignness did not help matters. He finally decided to use the ‘take me as I am’ approach​—and it worked!

Prejudice, suspicion, and intolerance are realities that aliens have to face. But if you are a foreigner, there are positive steps you can take to help you cope with the transition.

Motives and Attitudes

With the knowledge that you are going to run into prejudice and possible rejection in your new life, you can adjust your reactions accordingly. Rosemary, an English immigrant in Japan, speaks from firsthand experience. “Do not get upset when local people make biting remarks about your home country,” she warns, adding: “Resist the overwhelming urge to defend yourself, your country, and your background. Given time, people will judge you for your everyday attitudes and conduct and adjust their prejudices. It may take years.”

Remember, the local community is very sensitive about your motives for wanting to live in their country. An Awake! correspondent in Germany, which now has large numbers of Eastern European immigrants, says: “The problem of adjusting to life in a new country depends upon one’s motive for emigrating. Those who do so for good reason, desirous of making the new country their home, generally have an incentive to learn the language and fit in as best they can. Those who consider their move to be only temporary or who are motivated solely by thoughts of economic advantages are soon disillusioned. They therefore put forth little effort to adjust, leading to frustration both for them and for those who deal with them.” Of course, this does not mean that immigrants should never return to their home countries if that is what they desire.

Nevertheless, the attitudes and motives of a foreigner can make or break the process of assimilation. If you are an alien, recognize that among locals there is, as U.S.News & World Report puts it, a strong belief that “strangers dissolve the ethnic glue that holds nations together.” But as you prove your worth as a foreigner and make your contribution, your hosts will find it much easier to accept and even befriend you. As Rosemary, the immigrant mentioned earlier, explains: “They want you to be a foreigner, but they also want you to like what they like.”

Some of the problems that you as an immigrant will face can be anticipated, if not avoided, by learning as much as possible about your prospective destination. Reading, studying, and speaking to others concerning the country, customs, and culture can go a long way in preparing you for the culture shock that you will inevitably experience.

Of course, legalizing your move is essential to gaining the respect of the local populace. In the eyes of many, illegal aliens are a nuisance and a threat. At best they are viewed as cheap labor, just waiting to be ruthlessly exploited. Successful immigrants say that it pays to try your best to legalize your presence. When being interviewed by immigration authorities, a clean, neat presentation is essential in making a favorable impression. Show a cooperative attitude. Do not be evasive.

But there is much more that you, the alien, can do to ease the pain of adopting a new country.

Broaden Out

The natural tendency of most newcomers is to huddle together in their own communities. For example, in New York City, entire neighborhoods are predominantly of one nationality​—little Italy, Chinatown, the Jewish sector, to mention a few. Such communities provide essential support services that make the immigrant feel at home​—a launching pad to explore new horizons.

Unfortunately, at this point some turn inward and cut themselves off from opportunities and advantages that could really help them. “If rejection and distance of the host culture becomes the preferred mode of coping with the new . . . way of life,” says the journal Psychology of Women Quarterly, “the adaptation process may never be successfully completed.”

In contrast, most aliens who have been broad-​minded enough to take the plunge into their host societies report that their lives have been greatly enriched as a result. A group of American students who spent a number of weeks doing a cross-​cultural study on the Micronesian island of Guam commented on the broadening effect this had on their view of other cultures. “I look at differentness with interest and curiosity rather than as a threat,” admitted one student. Another said: “I am beginning to look at my culture in perspective. . . . I am questioning values and things I have previously taken for granted. . . . I could learn from them.”

However, to succeed in unlocking the doors of opportunity, there are certain basic prerequisites that must be met.

Keys to Integration

“Learning the language of the host country leads to faster and easier adaptation . . . because it allows the immigrant a closer interaction with [the] mainstream.” Thus recommends the journal Psychology of Women Quarterly. But be warned! Learning a language is not an easy process. “Initially I had a hard time,” recalls George, an immigrant in Japan. “They would laugh when I made a mistake but would not help me.” Undeterred, George took a portable radio wherever he went and listened to Japanese broadcasting. He adds: “I found that lots of reading helped me get to know the language.”

The language of a nation is the gateway to its culture. While you may eventually be able to pick up the language, a new culture is far more difficult to assimilate. This is where a degree of balance is called for. An alien who wishes to succeed must be prepared to grapple with learning the new culture, while in the process keeping his own personality and self-​respect intact. As Yugoslav writer Milovan Djilas put it, “a man can abandon everything​—home, country, land—​but he cannot abandon himself.” Striking that balance presents a big challenge.

Family Unity

Each person reacts differently to a new environment. Understandably, older people find that their native culture and language are deeply ingrained. However, children assimilate language and culture much faster. Before long, they may take on the role of interpreters, and their parents often find themselves in the position of students. This unnatural reversal of roles often leads to conflict within the family. Parents may feel that they are losing respect, while children become resentful that their parents’ ‘old-​fashioned’ culture is being imposed upon them. So how can foreign families cope with these increased pressures?

For one thing, parents should take into account the effect the new environment has upon their children. This means making the effort to integrate along with their children​—not expecting them to live in one culture yet be loyal to another. This concession takes insight on the part of immigrant parents, but it does much to defuse tensions at home. One Bible principle puts it this way: “By wisdom a household will be built up, and by discernment it will prove firmly established.”​—Proverbs 24:3.

Likewise, children should recognize that although their parents come from a different culture, they have been through the school of life and are therefore far more experienced. Proper respect given to them goes a long way toward securing a peaceful family life.

Thus, despite the complexities of integration, there is much that you, the alien, can do to turn the experience to your advantage. A successful young Portuguese immigrant named Tony sums it up this way: “Although I experienced many difficulties, in the long run, I have been enriched. Understanding two languages and cultures has given me a much broader outlook on life.”

[Box on page 10]

How Can Aliens Cope?

Do . . .

▶ learn the language

▶ accept and come to understand the new culture

▶ conform to local customs

▶ study your new environment and ask questions about it

▶ make an effort to integrate as a family

▶ cooperate with the authorities; do your best to legalize your status

Do Not . . .

▶ withdraw from your host community

▶ consider your own culture superior

▶ make money and possessions the first thing in your life

▶ expect your children to cling to your original culture

▶ look down on your parents because they have a different background

▶ migrate separately from your family, if you can avoid it

[Picture on page 9]

If you learn the language of your new country, you will broaden your contacts