Filling “Lonely Hours” with Enjoyment
A NINETEEN-YEAR-OLD wife of a young African United Nations diplomat, on October 15, 1966, leaped from the window of her luxurious apartment in New York city to her death eighteen stories below. The police said there was “no apparent reason for the tragedy.” But in the corridors of the United Nations the talk was of loneliness.
Loneliness is a common ailment today in the world. It produces definite physical symptoms, such as feelings of melancholia, bewilderment and insecurity. These emotions often arise from a loss of loving human companionship.
Who are the lonely? They are persons who need the companionship of others and for some reason cannot make contact. They are often shy, introverted teen-agers away from home; the balding bachelors whose independence has turned into confinement; the widows who long for affection; the spinster wanting marriage; the aged father and mother left alone by children; the sick whom the healthy have forgotten; married people who have permitted busy schedules to keep them from seeing the one they love. These are lonely people who need to feel the warmth of human kindness.
What can be done to help them? What can they do to help themselves?
Purposeful work is a safeguard against loneliness. A woman who cooks and keeps house for an appreciative family usually keeps herself creatively busy and mentally healthy. The grandmother who helps her daughter-in-law with the children, the grandfather who does repair work around the house feel useful, active, needed. The thought of working for others or oneself helps prevent the mind from becoming depressed. It keeps people from feeling sorry for themselves.
Single people especially need to fill their free time with meaningful work, if they would keep themselves from feeling lonely. Some have taken up useful, absorbing hobbies, which later turned into paying propositions, such as photography, growing flowers, oil painting, writing and other activity.
TAKING AN INTEREST IN OTHERS
One of the most effective ways of overcoming loneliness is to take an interest in others. Lonely persons need to express more love for other people. There must be not only a love for others but also an interest in others. And this is true whether one is male or female, married or single. Stressing this point, Proverbs 18:24, according to The Children’s Version of the Holy Bible, says: “A man who has friends must show himself friendly.” Having many friends keeps one from becoming self-centered and helps assure one happy moments and happy thoughts, which, in turn, are a protection against loneliness.
One way to show interest in others is to do something for them, such as inviting neighbors and friends over for dinner. Planning for these occasions creates interest, activity and pleasure. Single girls have found making candy for children an absorbing outlet. Sewing and knitting for others is also enjoyable.
There is a great need today for cheering people up. One observer stated that almost everyone he knew was “either lonely or afraid.” Why not make a list of the aged, the sick, the widows and widowers whom you know that might need cheering up? Then pay them a visit and scatter among them the sunshine of hope. Call them up on the telephone or send them a card or a letter. Cheer up depressed souls and you will be cheered.—Prov. 11:25.
Even greater happiness is achieved when we help people in a spiritual way. This is where Jehovah’s witnesses are in an especially favorable position, because the very nature of their ministry brings them in touch with people who need comfort and hope. When we lift the hopes of others, when we strengthen their faith in a brighter future and chart their course in the direction of life everlasting, then we are making happy not only them but ourselves as well. As Jesus Christ said: “There is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving.” (Acts 20:35) Giving in a spiritual way is a safeguard against loneliness. For happy people are seldom, if ever, lonely.
Even the sick, who very easily are subject to spells of loneliness, can help themselves by helping others spiritually. For example, a lady confined to a wheelchair wrote letters about God’s kingdom to residents of restricted apartment buildings. She also used the telephone effectively. She conducted Bible studies and made others happy.
A twenty-year-old cerebral palsy victim not only was confined to a wheelchair but his speech was not very intelligible. What could he do to keep himself from becoming lonely? He learned to type, and his typewriter soon began to speak for him. He typed letters to relatives and friends, as well as drawing upon the local press and the telephone books for names. Is he lonely? He could very easily be if he sat there and did nothing. But now he is much too busy to be lonely.
Bible reading is always enriching to the mind. It is enjoyable and uplifting. However, when we read God’s Word with the purpose of aiding others, when we read with the thought of telling others what we read, then the experience becomes doubly rewarding. Such reading causes time to pass quickly, allowing no room for loneliness.
When alone, there is always prayer to God. Fellowship with God through prayer knows no walls or boundaries. The awareness that ‘God cares for us’ is comforting indeed! (1 Pet. 5:7) Regardless of our situation, there is always God, as Jesus Christ lovingly let us know: “Look! The hour is coming, indeed, it has come, when you will be scattered each one to his own house and you will leave me alone; and yet I am not alone, because the Father is with me.” (John 16:32) Remember this during your lonely hours and “the peace of God that excels all thought will guard your hearts and your mental powers by means of Christ Jesus.”—Phil. 4:7.