Succeeding in the Struggle With Alcoholism

“During work, about ten o’clock in the morning, I would begin to think about a drink. By 12 o’clock I’d go out to have one or two. By three o’clock I would be physically shaking. I longed for quitting time so I could have another drink. Often I would have a couple on the way home. About seven o’clock I would have the compulsion again. I would drink, fall off the chair unconscious, wet my pants, and lie in my urine until morning. Take this and multiply it by 7 days a week; multiply that by 52 weeks a year; multiply that by 29 years.”

THIS man is an alcoholic. He is not alone. Millions worldwide struggle with this deadly condition that, according to Dr. Vernon E. Johnson, “involves the whole man: physically, mentally, psychologically, and spiritually.”a

Many experts say that alcoholism cannot be cured but that it can be arrested through a program of lifetime abstinence. This is not an unreasonable requirement, for alcohol is not essential to life. In fact, misuse of alcohol brings God’s disfavor. (1 Corinthians 6:9, 10) It is better to enter God’s new world deprived of alcohol than to indulge a craving for it and lose out on everlasting life.​—Matthew 5:29, 30.

Breaking free​—and staying free—​from alcohol abuse is often a frustrating challenge. (Compare Romans 7:21-24.) What can help? Let us provide some direct advice. Even if you do not drink alcohol at all, this advice will be informative and may enable you to assist some friend or relative who is struggling with alcoholism.

An Honest Look at Yourself

One of the biggest obstacles to overcome is denial of the fact that you are an alcoholic. Denial is a form of dishonesty. It is rationalization with a purpose: to protect your freedom to drink. ‘I’m not that bad,’ you may reason. ‘I still have my family. I still have my job.’ Most important, you still have your alcohol.

Denial may keep you from listening to friends who want to help you. Robert observed that his wife’s stepfather had adopted unhealthy drinking patterns and rude behavior. “After a few days, I confronted him,” says Robert, “asking him if he felt that his drinking contributed to his behavior.” The result? “I was met with complete denial, with comments such as, ‘You have no proof’ and, ‘You don’t know how I feel.’”

If you are approached by a family member or a friend who is concerned about your drinking, take a hard, honest look at yourself. (Proverbs 8:33) Can you live without alcohol for a whole week, for an entire month, or for several months? If not, why not? Do not be like the man who deceives himself with false reasoning. James says: “This one is like a man looking at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself, and off he goes and immediately forgets what sort of man he is.”​—James 1:22-25.

Even after recovery begins, you will still have to beware of denial. The book Willpower’s Not Enough explains: “The newly abstinent person can mistakenly believe that because he’s been able to stop using for a little while​—perhaps for the first time—​he’s now cured.” This is addictive thinking at its strongest, and it is the first step to a relapse. If you are to resist such denial, you must not stand alone.

Get Help

Realizing that he could not combat alcoholism alone, a man we may call Leo sought professional help. After a period of intensive treatment, he was on the road to recovery. Leo feels that the value of expert help cannot be overemphasized.b If such help is locally available, you may decide to take advantage of it.

You must realize, however, that there is more to recovery than mere abstinence. Beneath alcoholism there are likely deeper issues that you need to face. Ignoring these can be dangerous. Dr. Charlotte Davis Kasl writes: “I have interviewed people who went through treatment for substance abuse up to fourteen times because the core problems of abuse, dependency, and neglect were not addressed.”

Dennis found this to be true. “I was a sober alcoholic who still had lots of problems,” he writes. “It wasn’t enough to stop drinking. I had to take a look at my past, examine the lessons of my childhood, understand how they were affecting me, and make some changes in my behavior.”

Similarly, Leo had to look deep inside himself in order to progress in recovery. “I was an extremely jealous, violent person,” he says. “I fluctuated between bouts of low self-esteem and delusions of grandeur.” Leo applied the Bible’s counsel at Ephesians 4:22: “Put away the old personality which conforms to your former course of conduct.” Yes, “your former course of conduct” has exerted a powerful influence on your personality. As plaster conforms to a mold, so your personality has in part been shaped by your past course. When wrong conduct is removed, what is left? A personality that has been molded perhaps over a period of many years. Therefore, recovery must include changing the old personality that conforms to your former course of conduct.

Establish a Relationship With God

Leo’s recovery also entailed developing a personal relationship with God. “Learning to rely on Jehovah absolutely changed my attitude, behavior, and outlook,” he says.

However, caution is appropriate. Any relationship​—with humans or with God—​requires openness, honesty, and trust. These are the very qualities that alcoholism erodes. They can be cultivated, but it takes time.

As an alcoholic, you may not know what a close relationship feels like. Perhaps you have never experienced one. So be patient. Do not rush this step, expecting a relationship with God to materialize as an automatic by-product of abstinence. Work hard to understand God and his qualities. Meditate regularly, perhaps carefully reading the Bible’s psalms that express deep, appreciative feelings about Jehovah and his ways.c

“Power Beyond What Is Normal”

A trusting, confident relationship with God can have a powerful influence on you. Jehovah will support your efforts to recover. (Compare Psalm 51:10-12; 145:14.) You may approach him in fervent prayer at any time, confident that he will supply to you “power beyond what is normal.”​—2 Corinthians 4:7; Philippians 4:6, 7.

The Creator knows your makeup better than any human. (Psalm 103:14) Human counselors, who are dependent on human wisdom, can help; but how much more can the Creator of man help you in this fight! (Isaiah 41:10; 48:17, 18) He has provided loving support within the Christian congregation.

A Support System

Spiritually mature elders in the Christian congregation can be a great source of help. Few of them would claim to be skilled in the medical or mental-health fields, but they do know and trust God’s Word and principles. They can prove to be “like a hiding place from the wind and a place of concealment from the rainstorm, like streams of water in a waterless country, like the shadow of a heavy crag in an exhausted land.” (Isaiah 32:2) Take full advantage of their help.d

Of course, such Christian elders, along with other family members and friends, will not shield you from the consequences of your own actions. The publication Coming Off Drink explains: “The critical therapeutic ingredient is confronting alcoholics with the damaging consequences of dependence and getting them to take responsibility for their own behaviour.” So they will be kind but straightforward, encouraging you to face reality and adhere to whatever treatment and course of conduct is needed to win your war against alcohol.

Recovery Is Your Responsibility

While you benefit from the support of others, you need to know that no human or spirit can force your recovery. You are a free moral agent. Your recovery is ultimately your responsibility. (Compare Genesis 4:7; Deuteronomy 30:19, 20; Philippians 2:12.) Accept that responsibility, and Jehovah will bless you. We are assured at 1 Corinthians 10:13: “No temptation has taken you except what is common to men. But God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear, but along with the temptation he will also make the way out in order for you to be able to endure it.” Therefore, take comfort​—you can succeed in the struggle with alcoholism.

[Footnotes]

[Box on page 24]

Perhaps you suffer the degradation and misery that alcoholism produces. If so, do not give up hope. Help is available.

[Box on page 26]

IF YOU EXPERIENCE A SLIP

“Being prepared for a slip is like having a fire drill,” says the book Willpower’s Not Enough. “It doesn’t mean you expect a fire but that you are prepared to take responsible action should one occur.” If you do experience a slip:

□ Pray to Jehovah. Be assured that he understands your problem and wants to help.​—Psalm 103:14; Isaiah 41:10.

□ Confide in a Christian elder, having decided beforehand whom to contact should the need arise. Be honest about what happened, and listen carefully to his Scriptural advice.

□ Guard against despair. Self-loathing only moves you closer to a full-blown relapse, so put your mistake in proper perspective. Having lost one battle does not mean that you have lost the war. When a marathon runner falls, he does not go back to the starting line; he gets up and continues the race. Do the same with your recovery. You are still on the road. The weeks, months, or years of abstinence behind you do not cease to exist.

[Picture on page 25]

Resist denial by taking a hard, honest look at yourself