YOUNG PEOPLE ASK

Why Do I Cut Myself?

What is cutting?

Cutting is the practice of compulsively harming oneself with a sharp object. It’s just one form of self-injury. Others include burning, bruising, or hitting oneself. This article is about cutting, but the principles discussed apply to all forms of self-injury.

Test your knowledge: True or False.

Only girls cut themselves.
Cutting violates the Bible command at Leviticus 19:28, which says: “You must not make cuts in your flesh.”

Correct answers:

False. While the problem seems more prevalent among girls, some boys cut themselves and engage in other forms of self-injury too.
False. Leviticus 19:28 refers to an ancient pagan ritual, not to the compulsive practice of self-injury discussed in this article. Nevertheless, it stands to reason that our loving Creator doesn’t want us to harm ourselves.—1 Corinthians 6:12; 2 Corinthians 7:1; 1 John 4:8.

Why do people do it?

Test your knowledge: Which statement do you think is most accurate?

People cut themselves . . .

because they are trying to cope with emotional anguish.
because they are trying to kill themselves.

Correct answer: A. Most people who cut themselves don’t want to die. They just want to end their emotional despair.

Note what some young people have said about their practice of cutting.

Celia: “It brought me a sense of relief.”

Tamara: “It seemed to provide an escape. The physical pain was better than the emotional pain.”

Carrie: “I hated feeling sad. Cutting took the focus off my sadness and put it onto my physical pain.”

Jerrine: “Every time I cut myself, I became almost unaware of my surroundings, and I wouldn’t have to deal with my problems. I welcomed the change.”

If you have this problem, how can you stop?

Prayer to Jehovah God can be a vital step to recovery. The Bible says: “Throw all your anxiety upon him, because he cares for you.”—1 Peter 5:7.

Suggestion: Start with brief prayers, perhaps simply telling Jehovah, “I need help.” In time, you will be able to open up and pour out your feelings to “the God of all comfort.”—2 Corinthians 1:3, 4.

Prayer is not some psychological crutch. It is real communication with your heavenly Father, who promises: “I will really help you. I will really keep fast hold of you with my right hand of righteousness.”—Isaiah 41:10.

Many who have struggled with cutting have also found comfort in talking to a parent or another trusted adult. Consider the following comments from three young people who did just that.

Interview

Diana, 21
Kathy, 15
Lorena, 17

How old were you when you started cutting yourself?

Lorena: I started when I was about 14.

Diana: I was 18, and the frequency varied. I would cut every day for a week or two and then go for a month without doing it at all.

Kathy: I started when I was 14. I still have occasional setbacks.

Why did you want to hurt yourself?

Kathy: I struggled with feelings of self-hatred. I felt as if no one could possibly want me as a friend.

Diana: Sometimes my sadness would turn into frustration, and my frustration into despair. The despair would grow until it became overwhelming. It was like a huge beast inside me, and it was as if I had to cut myself to let it out.

Lorena: I would get really depressed or angry or just feel down about myself. I would feel like dirt, and I wanted to get rid of all that horrible emotional junk. Sometimes I would feel like I deserved the physical pain.

Did hurting yourself make you feel better?

Diana: It did. I felt lighter afterward, as if a burden had been lifted from me.

Kathy: It’s almost like a form of crying. I felt better after I cut myself the same way that some people feel better after a good cry.

Lorena: Self-injury was like puncturing a small hole in the balloon of negative emotions inside me. It wouldn’t pop; it would just leak and let all the negativity out slowly.

Were you afraid to tell anyone what you were doing?

Lorena: Yes. I was afraid people would think I was weird. Plus I didn’t want others to know about my personal life.

Diana: People always told me that they thought I was strong, and I wanted them to keep believing that. I felt that asking for help would have been a defeat.

Kathy: I was afraid that people would think I was messed up, which in turn would make me feel even worse about myself. Besides, I felt that I deserved what I was doing to myself.

What was a turning point for you?

Lorena: I told my mom what I had been doing. I also got help from a doctor, who helped me control my negative emotions. I had a few setbacks, but improving my Bible study routine helped. I also stay active in the Christian ministry. Perhaps I will always struggle with occasional feelings of worthlessness, but when they arise, I try not to let them rule me.

Kathy: A Christian sister who is about ten years older than I am could tell something was wrong, and I eventually confided in her. To my surprise, she too had once struggled with cutting. I didn’t feel awkward talking to her because she had been through it herself. I also got help from a doctor, who helped me and my parents to understand what I was going through.

Diana: One night I was at the home of a couple whom I trusted, and the husband noticed that something wasn’t right. He kindly urged me to tell them what was wrong. His wife held me and rocked me in her arms just the way my mom used to when I was a little girl. I started to cry, and so did she. It was hard to tell them what I had been doing to myself, but I’m glad that I did.

How has the Bible helped you?

Diana: The Bible has helped me to realize that I can’t fight this on my own. I need Jehovah God’s help.—Proverbs 3:5, 6.

Kathy: Reading the Bible—and knowing that its message comes from God—gives me such deep comfort!—2 Timothy 3:16.

Lorena: When I come across scriptures that touch me, I write them in a notebook so I can reflect on them later.—1 Timothy 4:15.

Is there a scripture in particular that touched you?

Diana: Proverbs 18:1 says: “One isolating himself will seek his own selfish longing; against all practical wisdom he will break forth.” Sometimes I find it difficult to be around people, but this scripture helps me to realize that to isolate myself is dangerous.

Kathy: Two Bible verses that I love are Matthew 10:29 and 31, where Jesus said that not even a sparrow dies without Jehovah God noticing it. And then he added: “Have no fear: you are worth more than many sparrows.” Even now, reading those words reminds me that I’m valuable to Jehovah.

Lorena: I appreciate the passage at Isaiah 41:9, 10, where Jehovah says to his people: “I have not rejected you. Do not be afraid, for I am with you. . . . I will fortify you.” When I think of something that is fortified, I think of something impenetrable, a structure with stone walls. This scripture makes me feel empowered, knowing that Jehovah loves me and that I will have him by my side always.

Questions for reflection

When you are ready to reach out for help, in whom could you confide?
What can you say in prayer to Jehovah God about the matter?
Can you name two methods (that do not involve self-injury) that you can use to release your stress and anxiety?

My scripture journal

Suggestion: When you come across a Bible passage that assures you of Jehovah’s love or that can help you to develop a balanced view of yourself and your failings, write that scripture in a journal. Include a sentence or two about why the passage is meaningful to you. To help you get started, here are some scriptures that Diana, Kathy, and Lorena found helpful.

Romans 8:38, 39

“These verses show me that Jehovah loves me, even when I feel that things couldn’t get any worse.”—Diana.
Psalm 73:23

“Scriptures like this one assure me that I’m not alone. It’s as if Jehovah is right here next to me.”—Kathy.
1 Peter 5:10

“Relief may not come immediately; we may have to suffer ‘a little while.’ In the end, though, Jehovah can make us strong enough to endure anything.”—Lorena.

More scriptures to consider