On the other hand, if the children are to be responsive, the parents must be really interested in what their children are doing. It is not enough for the parents to set up rules and regulations to be followed. They must do all they can to keep the lines of communication open with their children. Those who keep up with their children’s hobbies and interests have little trouble communicating with them. The mother of an 11-year-old boy attested to this fact:

“I’m learning things from him that I wouldn’t ordinarily be interested in. For instance, I thought it would be good for him to care for something besides himself and so I got him some tropical fish. Well, not only did it work for him; it worked for me as well. Now I get so much pleasure in seeing those fish respond to me. As his interests expand, I find myself growing with him and it’s drawn us closer together.”

Is that true in your case?

How to Cope with Problems

Nevertheless, problems do arise and the question is: What can parents do to cope with them? Little is accomplished by merely barking out orders to be obeyed. If children with problems are not allowed to communicate with their parents, resentment can develop and disrespect will naturally follow. As Ephesians 6:4 admonishes: “And you, fathers, do not be irritating your children, but go on bringing them up in the discipline and mental-regulating of Jehovah.”

One father of four boys shows the results of following such admonition: “I try my best to listen to them; to find out what’s on their minds. Only then can I really help them. I conduct a weekly Bible study and we usually let the Bible solve their problems. The boys understand that the instructions we give come from God and not from us, and it’s a great help.”

Another great help in coping with problems is being available. When children have problems, that is when they need their parents the most. One mother expressed herself this way: “We are always available. We let them know they can come to us with anything. Even when the problem may be small to us, it’s often very big to them; and that’s what matters at the time. Because they know we care, they come to us with everything.” How fine it would be if all children were free to approach their parents with any problem without first being condemned or criticized! Is that true in your case? Do you encourage your children to talk freely to you while you quietly listen?