A GOAL AND RESPONSIBILITY

Lack of a goal in life causes many youths to drift into trouble. They are like a ship without a destination. Without the Bible to guide them, they do not even have a rudder. Whatever trade or profession your child prefers in order to make a living, it is up to you to show him that his basic goal in life is to walk with God and gain everlasting life. (John 17:3) Point out how peace and security can be his now in spite of our critical times, if his goal is to do God’s will. When that becomes his firm purpose he will see that reading, writing and study of sacred and secular history are means of reaching his goal. He will understand that truancy is a waste of valuable time, that study is a wise investment and that even minor delinquent acts would hinder him from attaining his purpose in life. When he sees what his basic purpose in life is, then show him that his purpose has meaning here and now by giving him some responsibility.

Playing a responsible, productive role in life should be a big part of your child’s purpose in living. He should begin to learn this sense of responsibility and productivity as soon as possible. You can start by teaching him to dress himself, pick up his clothes, toys and books. If you live in the suburbs, very likely there are many responsibilities that can be assigned, such as cutting the grass, trimming hedges, raking leaves, painting a fence, cleaning the attic or cellar. If you live in a rented city apartment, the table has to be set, dishes must be washed and dried, rugs need vacuuming, floors need waxing, furniture can be dusted and polished and clothes must be ironed, and there are always the beds and shopping. If this does not provide enough opportunities, another place you can teach him responsibility is at the congregation meeting place.

Encourage your child to volunteer to help keep the congregation’s meeting place clean or to straighten the chairs, help fold Bible tracts, close the windows after most have gone home, and shovel snow. Set the right example by volunteering yourself, if at all possible.

By fulfilling such assignments your youngster will learn something noticeably lacking in the training of delinquent children—how to work and how to cooperate with others. He will learn the joy of a job well done. With that feeling comes respect and a step toward maturity. Do not let your son learn this lesson the hard way, as one nineteen-year-old did. Only after serving a term in a State youth camp was he able to say: “They taught me how to work, the . . . pleasure a man can get out of doing something for himself.” Giving your child responsibilities will also provide a way to check his initiative, thoroughness and reliability. As Proverbs 20:11 says: “Even by his practices a boy makes himself recognized as to whether his activity is pure and upright.” Special attention can be given to points in his disposition requiring improvement. Faithful performance of duties provide opportunity for commendation and extra privileges. In this connection you have an opportunity to teach the valuable lesson of how to work and save for things desired. Of course, being your offspring, your child is no more perfect than you are. Do not expect perfection, but do not overlook needed discipline either.

DISCIPLINE AND LOVE

When giving instructions or commands, say what you mean and mean what you say. If you give orders in a nagging fashion, you teach your child how to disobey, for he knows he can ignore your command and you will oblige by repeating it. But he will not tarry if you demonstrate that your words are backed by action. Of course, many times it may be wise to give a reason for a certain command or restriction. You may feel that you do not have to give your child a reason for your orders, but remember this: By understanding why a certain course is wise or foolish, your child will have good reason to choose the wise course when you are not present. Notice how the Bible frequently gives the reason why a course is good or bad. Copy that good example.—Prov. 23:20, 21; 24:15, 16, 19, 20.

When your child takes the foolish course, in spite of your good counsel, remember Proverbs 22:15: “Foolishness is tied up with the heart of a boy; the rod of discipline is what will remove it far from him.” Jehovah urges you not to hold back discipline from a mere boy. (Prov. 23:13, 14) You know when your child is out of line, and very likely he knows it too. As one delinquent told a reporter: “I never got a whipping, although, actually, I often felt I should have.” Do not irritate your children by constantly changing the “rules” or punishing a disobedient act one day and not the next. Copy Jehovah. Live up to your word, be consistent and discipline out of love.—Prov. 13:24; Heb. 12:6.

In these critical times when many are without natural affection it is important that your child know he is loved and wanted. (2 Tim. 3:3) When you lay down reasonable restrictions as to right company and late hours and strictly enforce your wishes you show that you are a loving parent that really cares. Your love is felt, though perhaps not appreciated at the moment, when you insist that your child always ask permission to go somewhere and that he tell you with whom he is going. Time and again it is found that when children get into trouble, such as shoplifting, their parents have no idea where they are. If you care, you will make it your business to know. You will also teach your child to stay away from anyone who would induce him by ridicule or coercion to go against the wish of his God or his parents. Teach him that his reputation with God is the one that really counts. If adversity strikes your family, turn it to advantage by showing your child how to draw close to God for comfort and guidance. All this is part of the priceless training of your child in the way he must go for everlasting life.—Prov. 22:6.

If you have given your child the Kingdom as his goal, if you have taught him to look to God’s Word for guidance and have trained him to handle responsibility, he will see that vandalism, theft, immorality and any other form of delinquency are all things that can take him off the road leading to life. (Matt. 7:14) Keep delinquency out of your home by running it in strict harmony with Jehovah’s authoritative advice. “By wisdom a household will be built up, and by discernment it will prove firmly established.”—Prov. 24:3.

Minister’s Complaint

After finishing a week in attendance late this spring at a conference of the United Church of Canada, minister J. A. Davidson wrote a column in the Toronto Globe and Mail complaining about “all those pious resolutions.” He noted from discussions with Anglican, Baptist and Presbyterian friends “that in assemblies of their churches the multiplicity of pious resolutions have a similar mind-and-heart-numbing force.” He recommended that “a day or two could be profitably spent in meditation on the dictum of Bishop Stephen Neill: ‘If I were not already a Christian and a churchman, I think that what more than anything else would keep me back from accepting the responsibilities of church membership would be the apparently irredeemable triviality of the churches.’”