What Kind of Training Do Children Need?

“Train up a boy according to the way for him.”​—Prov. 22:6.

1, 2. (a) What is the feeling of many parents as to the rearing of children? (b) Despite Bible counsel, what is happening to young ones today?

PARENTS, have you found rearing children to be difficult today? Do you ever feel at a loss as to how to train your young ones to protect them in these dangerous times? Many parents do feel at a loss. True, the Bible says: “Train up a boy according to the way for him; even when he grows old he will not turn aside from it.” (Prov. 22:6) Yet today both boys and girls by the millions are turning to delinquency.

² In 1966 a United States Senate study revealed that of the nation’s 29 million children in the ten-to-seventeen age-group, two and a half million, or about one in every eleven, had a police record! Since then conditions have grown much worse. The Los Angeles Herald-Examiner of February 2, 1970, reported: “Juvenile crime in Southern California is rising at a rate which may soon see total juvenile arrests outstripping those of adults​—yet juveniles make up only a fraction of the total population. Detention centers are overflowing already and there’s no letup in sight.” In New Zealand, according to the police commissioner’s report, crimes by children doubled in numbers from 1966 to 1970!

3. What trend has been noted relative to juvenile crime?

³ Not only are juvenile crimes increasing rapidly in numbers, but also they are becoming more serious in nature; and more children are committing them at younger ages. In a recent year, in Baltimore, Maryland, there were 526 arrests of children ten years of age and under. Included were 169 arrests for burglary, 22 for robbery, and arrests for murder, auto theft and narcotics violations! In Perth, Australia, 80 percent of the car thefts are by teenagers! A police officer there said: “It is no longer unusual to find a kid of 13 behind the wheel of a stolen vehicle.”

4, 5. (a) What are the tragic consequences of immorality that have become so evident today? (b) These conditions are evidence of our living in what time period?

⁴ Sexual immorality among the young has also become rampant. Reported a 16-year-old New York City girl: “About half my class is on the pill [to prevent pregnancy] and the other half intends to buy it when they go to college.” (New York Times, September 24, 1971) The tragic consequences of immorality include an epidemic of venereal diseases and illegitimate births. In California nearly ten times as many teen-agers contracted gonorrhea in 1970 as in 1960. It is now estimated that one in five high-school students will contract a venereal disease before graduating. In some schools the estimate is that half the student body will get a venereal disease. A total of 43,100 teen-age girls in California reportedly became pregnant in 1970, not including those who married because of their pregnancy.​—San Francisco Examiner, June 20, 1971.

⁵ The director of a medical clinic in Richmond, Virginia, noted that teen-age pregnancies are increasing in a “tragic fashion,” and said: “Alarming is the number of pregnancies among girls under 15.” (Newport News Daily Press, December 13, 1970) The Philadelphia Evening Bulletin reported: “A significant number of unwed mothers are elementary school girls aged 11 and 12.” From what is occurring, is it not apparent that we are living in the critical “last days” that the Bible foretold? These are indeed days marked by extreme lawlessness, including ‘disobedience to parents.’​—2 Tim. 3:1-5.

6. (a) What does the widespread delinquency indicate as to the kind of training children are receiving? (b) What is largely responsible for the confusion many parents have as to rearing children?

⁶ Since so many young ones are becoming delinquent, does it not indicate that something is wrong with the training that children are receiving? Obviously they are not being trained ‘according to the way for them.’ (Prov. 22:6) Yet what kind of training do children need? Many parents are confused regarding the matter. “By their words and actions, many fathers and mothers make it clear that they are almost paralyzed by uncertainty,” noted a member of the Editorial Board of the New York Times. “Old standards of behavior no longer seem to apply,” he said. (New York Times Magazine, January 16, 1972) The conflicting opinions of worldly counselors on child rearing are largely responsible for the confusion of parents.

7. (a) What do writings of worldly counselors on child rearing generally have in common? (b) As indicated by Jeremiah 8:9, what is wrong with the kind of training most children today have been receiving?

⁷ Although the opinions of these counselors differ greatly, an examination of their writings does reveal something that they have in common. And that is, they generally ignore the Bible as a teaching instrument. Could this be the problem? Recent developments seem to point to the answer. For think about it: Has it not been in recent times when “old standards of behavior” (those frequently based on the Bible) have been cast aside that delinquency has greatly increased? Does this not indicate that young ones need the training and guidance based on the teachings of the Bible?​—Jer. 8:9.

WHY TEACH CHILDREN ABOUT GOD

8. (a) What is an outstanding characteristic of children? (b) Why are the answers parents give to the questions of children important?

⁸ It is natural for children to look to their parents for guidance. Young ones are full of questions. It is typical for them to ask: “Who made the pretty flowers?” “How did the stars get up in the sky?” Or they may inquire: “Where did I come from? Who made me?” One should not minimize the importance of how children are answered on these matters. What young ones are taught makes a lasting impression, shaping their attitudes and viewpoints and thus affecting their future life pattern.

9. (a) What is commonly taught children today as to their origin? (b) What indication is there that the evolutionary views being taught children are not correct?

⁹ A parent could answer: “No one made us or these other things. All things just came to exist by themselves; it was a chance development​—an accident—​by which all things came into existence.” This is the evolutionary view commonly taught children in the schools today. It is often said that this view is “scientific,” and that persons who believe that there is a God who made all things are “unscientific.” But is this so? Are today’s popular evolutionary views true? Well, consider: Is it not a fact that when the truth is taught, good fruitage results? Yet look at the millions of delinquent children today who have grown up under an educational system that has promoted evolutionary ideas!​—Ps. 14:1.

10. (a) Why is it confusing to a child to be taught that there is no Creator? (b) What do children need to be taught regarding themselves, the grass, the moon and the stars, and so forth, and why?

¹⁰ Actually, it is confusing for young ones to be taught that there is no heavenly Creator. Children can see, for example, that men build houses and women bake cakes. These things have makers. Why, then, children may understandably reason, do not beautiful flowers or bright stars have a maker? Children need to be taught the reasonable explanations in the Bible: “Of course, every house is constructed by someone, but he that constructed all things is God.” (Heb. 3:4) They need to be shown that the Bible does not unreasonably teach that no one made us, but says: “Know that Jehovah is God. It is he that has made us, and not we ourselves.” (Ps. 100:3) Children should be taught that God “is making green grass sprout for the beasts, and vegetation for the service of mankind.” (Ps. 104:14) What God’s Word says about “the moon and the stars that you [God] have prepared” should also be explained to young ones. (Ps. 8:3) These Scriptural truths will satisfy a child’s sense of reason, and will help him to develop respect for our Grand Creator. This kind of teaching is necessary in order to “train up a boy according to the way for him.”​—Prov. 22:6.

11. What opportunities might a parent seize to teach his child about God?

¹¹ A parent should wisely seize opportunities to build love and appreciation for Jehovah God in their young ones. Perhaps when child and parent are together beneath a star-filled sky, the father can impress upon his son the wisdom and power of Jehovah in making and marshaling these beautiful heavenly bodies in their orbits. (Ps. 19:1, 2) On other occasions, perhaps when viewing the beauty of flowers, a gorgeous sunset, or the varieties in plant and animal life, a parent may be able to teach young ones that these marvelous and good things are evidences of the love of our heavenly Father for mankind. (Acts 14:17; Matt. 5:45) But is not this teaching about God really “unscientific”?

12. (a) Why is it not unscientific to teach that the marvelous things we see around us were created by God? (b) What benefit will it be to a child to know that there is an all-powerful Creator who cares for him?

¹² No, not at all! It is as valid today as when an inspired Bible writer long ago observed that God’s “invisible qualities are clearly seen from the world’s creation onward, because they are perceived by the things made, even his eternal power and Godship, so that they are inexcusable.” (Rom. 1:20) The fact is, true science in recent years has brought to light a vast storehouse of knowledge that testifies to how masterfully designed the universe and all living things are, providing evidence that there is indeed a mighty, intelligent Creator. How strengthening it is for children to know that such a great God exists, and that he cares for them! (1 Pet. 5:7) This will help them to avoid being overly troubled by the fears, doubts and insecurity of today’s world. It will protect them from mental or emotional upsets, and give them a sense of security and trust. Thus they will not react with violence and hate, but will be inclined to treat all with Godlike love.​—Ps. 23:1-6; 55:22; Isa. 41:10.

WHY TEACH CHILDREN GOD’S WORD

13. Why is it evident that simply telling a child not to do wrong things is insufficient?

¹³ However, simply teaching children that there is a God is insufficient. Young ones also need to be taught God’s Word, including what God requires of humans. Why is this? Well, consider: Many modern parents tell their children that there is a God. And practically every parent tells his child that it is wrong to lie, to steal and to commit other such crimes. Also, mothers often tell their daughters that it is wrong to engage in premarital sexual relations. And yet children by the millions turn to these delinquent activities, realizing even while they are engaging in them that they have been told that these things are wrong. Clearly, telling a child is not enough. But why not?

14. Why is it that children often do not respond to the instruction given by older persons?

¹⁴ A principal reason is that children soon learn that they cannot rely on the word or example of humans. They discover that older ones are often wrong, and that their standards of behavior are subject to change. Also, children find that older ones frequently say one thing and do another. So when children begin to realize that other people lie, steal and commit fornication, they understandably come to the conclusion that it is all right to do these things just so long as they do not get caught, or so long as they do not get hurt. Thus young ones today commonly do whatever they think they can get away with.

15. (a) What more important reason do children need to have for avoiding wrongdoing? (b) Why will knowing that these are the commands of Almighty God be a deterrent to wrongdoing?

¹⁵ Obviously, then, a child needs to have a more important reason for obeying than simply that his parents or other humans want him to obey. He needs to be taught in the name of God, whose commands these really are, not to lie, steal, commit fornication or engage in other wrong practices. (Prov. 6:16-19; Mark 10:17-19; Heb. 13:4) This instruction from God’s Word will impress on the child the seriousness of wrongdoing. He will then realize that it is not simply the word of a human that is involved, but it is the word of the Creator himself, the One who gives life and who has the power to take it away forever from willful lawbreakers. (Rev. 21:8) Also, the child comes to know that, as the Bible says, “the eyes of Jehovah are in every place, keeping watch upon the bad ones and the good ones.” (Prov. 15:3) Thus the child will recognize that he cannot engage in wrongdoing without being seen by God.​—Ps. 11:4; Heb. 4:13.

16. How will teaching children God’s Word provide the strongest deterrent to wrongdoing?

¹⁶ However, as the child is taught God’s Word an even stronger, more important deterrent to wrongdoing will grow within him. Bible study will reveal Jehovah God to the child, not only as the Grand Creator, but as a real Person who truly loves mankind. He will learn how God showed his love by sending his Son to the earth to provide a basis for recovering mankind from sin and death, thus opening the way for humans to enjoy everlasting life in a paradise under a new system of things. (John 3:16; 2 Pet. 3:13) Also, the child will learn from Bible study that in his new system God will remove from mankind sickness and even death, as well as the pain, suffering and tears so common today. (Rev. 21:3, 4) At that time all people will be friendly and peace loving. In fact, even the animals will be at peace, and a young child will be able to play with them without being hurt. (Isa. 11:6-9; Ps. 37:9-11, 29) As a child comes to know about these marvelous provisions of Jehovah, his love for God will grow very strong. As a result, he will not want to do anything to displease his wonderful heavenly Father. The child’s love and appreciation for Jehovah will thus serve as the strongest deterrent against doing anything that God says is wrong.

17. (a) Why can one be sure that teaching children God’s Word will benefit them in later life? (b) What Bible example shows the benefit of early training?

¹⁷ But can one really be sure that early instruction in God’s Word will benefit the child in later life? Yes, one can, for remember that the Bible proverb says that if a child is trained up “according to the way for him; even when he grows old he will not turn aside from it.” (Prov. 22:6) Consider as an example the young Hebrew Joseph. His father Jacob evidently taught him about Jehovah and his laws when he was young. Later in life Joseph came to be in the foreign land of Egypt, away from his family and friends. There, while he was working for a wealthy man named Potiphar, this man’s wife began making attempts to entice the good-looking Joseph. She would say to him: “Lie down with me!” But Joseph would refuse, explaining: “How could I commit this great badness and actually sin against God?” Even when Potiphar’s wife grabbed Joseph and tried to get him to lie down with her, he resisted and fled. It was Joseph’s respect and love for God, which had been inculcated in him as a child, that restrained him from wrongdoing.​—Gen. 39:1-12.

18. (a) What benefit will teaching children God’s Word have? (b) Why are young ones experiencing so much trouble today?

¹⁸ Do you not agree that children today need this kind of instruction from God’s Word? Impressing upon young ones God’s moral requirements will surely help them to live upright, happy lives. Yet today Scriptural guidance is commonly thrust aside as being too restrictive and causing frustration. For example, regarding the prohibition of sexual relations for unmarried persons, one individual recently wrote in the New York Times Magazine: “Surely there are enough areas of frustration in life so that deliberate encouraging of frustration is not necessary. . . . All that we need to do to give our children direction (their own, we hope), is to show them that we value ourselves and others as well, and that there are many different ways of fulfilling ourselves.” But what trouble such rejection of God’s direction has brought, including an avalanche of venereal diseases, illegitimate births and abortions, with their accompanying pain, heartbreak and misery! How clear it is that children need the instruction provided in God’s Word!​—Jer. 10:23.

NEED OF DISCIPLINE

19. (a) Are children naturally inclined to do what is right, and how do we know? (b) What is included in the matter of administering discipline?

¹⁹ However, in order for a program of instruction in God’s Word to be effective, it must also include loving discipline. This is because children are not naturally inclined to do the right thing. It is as the inspired Bible proverb says: “Foolishness is tied up with the heart of a boy; the rod of discipline is what will remove it far from him.” (Prov. 22:15) The word “discipline” has the thought of giving training that molds and corrects. Thus it involves frequent repetition of instruction so that the child is motivated to comply with it. But discipline involves more. As most parents well know, a child is often not corrected simply by words. (Prov. 29:17, 19) Therefore disciplinary training may also include chastisement or punishment administered with the purpose of correcting the child. But should this form of discipline ever include spanking? Is there truth to the old adage: “Spare the rod and spoil the child”?

20. What is a common view of worldly authorities regarding administering physical punishment as a form of disciplinary training?

²⁰ Worldly authorities on rearing children frequently say: ‘No, the child should never be spanked. Avoid frustrating the child by using such strong measures to change his natural inclinations.’ A New York Times editorial, April 5, 1972, said: “‘Spare the rod and spoil the child’ is a wrong-headed adage that continues to get approving nods from self-appointed upholders of ‘the old virtues.’ It is difficult to fathom why the administration of premeditated, painful punishment by a bigger and stronger person could instill anything other than the belief that force triumphs.” But is this view correct? Is it a mistake to use physical punishment for the purpose of correcting a child’s wrong course of conduct?

21. (a) What does God’s Word say regarding using physical punishment to correct the wayward course of a child? (b) How do we know it is God’s way to administer such kind of discipline?

²¹ God is man’s Creator. There is no higher authority. His Word is very clear on the matter. It says: “Do not hold back discipline from the mere boy. In case you beat him with the rod, he will not die. With the rod you yourself should beat him, that you may deliver his very soul from Sheol [the grave] itself.” (Prov. 23:13, 14) The life of the child is at stake. If he is allowed to pursue a wrong course, it will lead to his own unhappiness and eventual death outside God’s favor. Thus the Bible says: “The one holding back his rod is hating his son, but the one loving him is he that does look for him with discipline.” (Prov. 13:24) It shows real love on the part of a parent to do whatever he can to correct his child, including spanking him. This is God’s way. “For whom Jehovah loves,” the scripture says, “he disciplines; in fact, he scourges [whips or lashes] every one whom he receives as a son.”​—Heb. 12:5, 6.

22. (a) What should be the parental motive for administering discipline, as shown by God’s example? (b) What is largely responsible for the tremendous increase in juvenile delinquency today?

²² Why does God do this to his children? “For our profit,” the apostle Paul said, “that we may partake of his holiness. True, no discipline seems for the present to be joyous, but grievous; yet afterward to those who have been trained by it it yields peaceable fruit, namely, righteousness.” (Heb. 12:7-11) Children, for their own benefit, need such discipline. It is part of the training that is ‘according to the way for them.’ (Prov. 22:6) The rejection by the world of such disciplinary training is largely responsible for the tremendous increase of juvenile delinquency and the resulting trouble and shame it has brought to parents.​—Prov. 29:15.

23. How do children react when they receive or fail to receive discipline?

²³ Contrary to popular opinion, children appreciate it when parents show a genuine interest in them by providing reasonable guidelines and restrictions on their activities. Some children may complain at times because of the discipline, but they learn to love and respect parents who show a genuine interest in their welfare. On the other hand, failure on the part of parents to administer the discipline that children so much need is likely to cause a child to resent his parents. A popular magazine not long ago told of a fifteen-year-old girl who slipped into a bad course of conduct and brought shame upon herself and her family. Grieved by her conduct, she said to her father: “Daddy, you should have demanded that I behave years ago, and when I didn’t, instead of talking to me, you should have blistered my behind. When I didn’t make good grades, why didn’t you make me? Did you think I was so dumb I couldn’t make better grades?”​—McCall’s, July 1969, page 114.

24. (a) How can parents show that they really do love their children? (b) What will be the result of showing this love?

²⁴ Parents, show that you really do love your children by giving them the discipline that they so desperately need. Heed the wise counsel of God’s Word. Teach its wisdom to your children. Develop within them a love and respect for the Creator, Jehovah God. By doing this you can be confident that you are ‘training up your children according to the way for them, and that they will not depart from it.’ (Prov. 22:6) This will eventually mean for them endless life in Jehovah God’s glorious new system of things. How grateful your children will be to you for preparing them to enjoy this!

Are You Teaching Your Children?

“These words that I am commanding you . . . you must inculcate them in your son.”​—Deut. 6:6, 7.

1. Why is it so important that parents teach their children?

ARE you sincerely interested in seeing your children grow up to be honest, upright persons who love God and their fellowman? No doubt this is one of your keenest desires. But do you realize that whether this desire comes true or not depends largely upon how you teach them? This is true. And it is especially true now when there are so many pressures upon young people to turn to sexual immorality, drug abuse and other forms of delinquency. That is why teaching your children is one of the most important activities you parents will ever perform in life. Do you consider it that important? Do you know what can happen, and is actually happening in families where parents have failed to maintain regular and free communication with their children?

2, 3. What true experience illustrates what can happen when communications between parents and child break down?

² Recently a popular magazine told about a family in Long Island, New York, in which there was a breakdown in the lines of communication. The boy developed periods of moodiness, silence and belligerence. Eventually he began taking drugs. The parents found out, but were unable really to discuss the matter with him. Instead, there were only angry arguments, and the boy flouted his parents’ orders to stop using drugs. In many other families in the parents’ circle of friends, the children were also drug users. In fact, a district attorney estimated that three quarters of the youths in the county had experimented with marijuana and other drugs!

³ In this particular family, conditions deteriorated to the point where the father would yell at his son, and his son would yell back and even threaten his parents. Finally, on Sunday afternoon, February 27, 1972, when under the influence of drugs, the boy came at his father with a steak knife. The father drew the gun he was carrying for protection and fired into his son’s heart. Asked later why he aimed to kill, the father said: “All I could think of was that if I only wounded the boy, he would come back and kill Carol [his mother] and me. There had been so many threats.” How tragic!​—Life, May 5, 1972.

4. (a) As indicated by 2 Timothy 3:14, 15, when should one begin teaching one’s children? (b) How can the lines of communication be kept open as young ones grow older?

⁴ It is clear that a vital need exists for parents to take a loving interest in teaching their children and in always keeping open the lines of free and uninhibited communication! The Bible shows that the time to begin working on this is when the children are very young, even from infancy. (2 Tim. 3:14, 15) Then efforts need to be continued day in and day out, year after year, from infancy right up through the teen-age years. There can be no letup in the program of teaching. If children are to receive the guidance they so much need, parents must continually work to maintain a relationship that will encourage their children to talk freely with them and to confide in them.

DIVINE GUIDANCE THAT CHILDREN NEED

5, 6. (a) Even though some parents try to rear their children properly, why do they have tragic results? (b) What valuable instructions did God give his people Israel on rearing children?

⁵ However, even some parents who make a real effort to rear their children properly have tragic results, as evidenced in the case of the family mentioned above. The father, for example, would try to help his son by getting books from the library on animals and their care, something in which the son showed interest. And both parents encouraged the boy to take an interest in sports. Yet, despite their efforts, something was evidently lacking, as is true in so many homes today. And what is it that is lacking? The parents fail to heed closely GOD’S instructions on rearing children. Long ago Jehovah God gave his people Israel counsel on how to rear their children. And happily this guidance has been preserved in his word the Bible so that parents today can benefit from it.

⁶ Jehovah God used his spokesman Moses to give these instructions to his people: “Now these are the commandment, the regulations and the judicial decisions that Jehovah your God has commanded to teach you . . . Listen, O Israel: Jehovah our God is one Jehovah. And you must love Jehovah your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your vital force. And these words that I am commanding you today must prove to be on your heart; and you must inculcate them in your son and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up. And you must tie them as a sign upon your hand, and they must serve as a frontlet band between your eyes; and you must write them upon the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”​—Deut. 6:1, 4-9.

7. (a) In these instructions of God, what first essential is noted for successfully rearing children? (b) Why is it important to spend time with children even though it may require adjustments in schedules?

⁷ Rather than pass over this divine counsel quickly, let us consider it carefully. What is it emphasizing to parents? First of all, does it not show the importance of parents’ spending time with their children? Note that it speaks of parent and child being together when they ‘sit in the house, when they walk on the road, and when they lie down and when they get up.’ The need to spend time with your children can hardly be overemphasized. This is because children whose parents have little time for them frequently become involved in wrongdoing. True, to arrange to be with your children more may take planning, perhaps even requiring you to forgo certain personal pleasures and other activities. But the reward of having your young ones grow up to become law-abiding, respectful men and women is surely well worth the effort.

8. (a) What else does God show that parents should do, and are older persons today generally diligent about doing this? (b) If one truly is busy when children want to talk, what might one do? Why?

⁸ However, simply being with your children is not all that is needed. Note that God’s instruction also says to “speak” with the children. Parents should never underestimate the importance of talking with their youngsters. And do not forget, an important part of a two-way conversation is to listen. “The fundamental complaint of young Americans,” noted one well-known writer, is “that they cannot talk with grown people. . . . Their efforts to communicate with us are invariably and completely squelched.” Unfortunately, this is often true. Parents frequently push off their inquiring child with a gruff: “Go away; can’t you see I’m busy?” Never allow this to occur in your home! If it is true that you are really busy, why not tell your child that you will discuss the matter later with him, and then do so? In this way your child will sense that you are really interested in him and he will more readily confide in you. So heed the Bible’s divine counsel! Speak with your children, and do so regularly, as God says: “When you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up.”

“THESE WORDS” YOU MUST TEACH

9. (a) What questions are raised regarding “these words” that God says should be taught young ones? (b) What type of instructions, although important, have been found to be insufficient?

⁹ But spending time with your children and speaking with them is still not enough. Looking again at God’s instructions, you will note that He explains what parents should speak to their children. He says: “These words . . . you must inculcate them in your son and speak of them.” What are “these words”? Have they to do with general instruction, teaching your children an appreciation for fine music, good literature, the wonders of life and other marvelous things around us? Have they to do with good manners and proper habits, such as to be neat, orderly, punctual, and so forth? Surely these are good things to teach young ones. But is it not true that many parents who have taught such things to their children have received the shock of learning that their youngsters have become involved in illegal use of drugs, or other criminal activity, or that their daughters have become pregnant as a result of illicit sex relations? Obviously there is something even more valuable that parents need to teach their young ones.

10. (a) What, principally, are “these words” that parents should teach their children? (b) What does the word “inculcate” mean, and so what is God, in effect, telling parents?

¹⁰ A closer examination of God’s instructions reveals that God is talking about imparting spiritual matters to children. “Jehovah our God is one Jehovah,” parents are told. “And you must love Jehovah your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your vital force. And these words . . . you must inculcate them in your son.” Yes, what parents should primarily teach their young ones is regarding Jehovah God​—that he is the one and only Creator and Life-Giver—​and that he is worthy of our whole-souled love and devotion. And note that God does not say that these matters are just to be told to children, but says: “You must inculcate them in your son.” According to Webster’s Third New International Dictionary, the word “inculcate” means “to teach and impress by frequent repetitions or admonitions: urge on or fix in the mind.”a So God is here, in effect, encouraging parents to institute a planned program of Bible instruction that has the express purpose of impressing on the minds of their children spiritual matters.

11. What other things are included in “these words” that parents are to inculcate in their children, and how do we know?

¹¹ But “these words” that are to be inculcated in children also include God’s moral standards or requirements. This is indicated by the context in which these instructions to the nation of Israel are found. The prophet Moses had just reiterated the principal commandments of God’s law to Israel, namely, not to bear false witness, not to steal, not to murder, not to commit adultery, and so forth. (Deut. 5:6-21) And since shortly afterward Moses went on to say, “And these words . . . you must inculcate them in your son,” it is evident that parents were being impressed with the need to impart moral values to their children. It is similar instruction that Christian parents must provide their children today if they are to ensure for them a secure, happy future.​—Matt. 22:37-40; 1 Cor. 6:9, 10; Rev. 21:8.

12, 13. (a) Who are chiefly responsible for teaching children? (b) What does it mean to bring children up in the “mental-regulating of Jehovah”?

¹² That both the father and the mother have the privilege and responsibility to share in giving this instruction is shown by the Bible command to children: “Observe, O my son, the commandment of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother.” (Prov. 6:20) Indicating who it is, however, that bears the chief responsibility for teaching the children, God’s Word says: “You, fathers, do not be irritating your children, but go on bringing them up in the discipline and mental-regulating of Jehovah.” (Eph. 6:4) Yes, it is Christian fathers who are principally entrusted with the responsibility of teaching their children.

¹³ However, what does it mean for fathers to bring up their children in the “mental-regulating of Jehovah”? “Mental-regulating,” in the original Greek, has the idea of “putting mind in.” And so Christian fathers are here, in effect, being urged to put the mind of Jehovah God in their children. And what a protection this will be for their young ones! For if children have inculcated in their minds God’s thoughts, his way of thinking, this will be a wonderful safeguard against their engaging in any wrongdoing.

PUTTING GOD’S MIND IN YOUR CHILDREN

14. What else is usually required to put God’s mind in children besides simply telling them God’s laws?

¹⁴ But it is admittedly not easy to bring children up in the mental-regulating of Jehovah. Simply telling them what is God’s mind on matters often is not enough to cause them to accept what God says. Thus a parent may read to his son or daughter from the Bible regarding God’s laws prohibiting fornication, even doing so many times. (Gal. 5:19, 21; Eph. 5:5) Such repetition may impress upon young ones what God’s law is. However, putting God’s mind in them often requires more. Children need to be helped to reason on the value of God’s law so that they become convinced that it is really right and good, and is for their benefit. When you reason with them on the rightfulness of the Scriptures, they will come to be in full agreement with God’s viewpoint. Then, in effect, it can be said that you have put God’s mind in them.

15. (a) What is it good to know in order to put God’s mind in young ones, and how can a parent find this out? (b) How might a parent wisely respond if his child expresses incorrect views?

¹⁵ Convinced that you should endeavor to put God’s mind in your child, you can take an important preliminary step in doing so by finding out what your child’s thinking is. Appropriate questions often will draw forth his true feelings. For example, in talking to him about God’s law prohibiting fornication, you might ask: “Do you think that we are benefited by obedience to this law of God, or does it rob us of happiness?” Or you could ask: “What difference does it make whether we live according to God’s law or not?” After asking such a question, welcome your youngster’s expressions. If you scold or severely criticize when the views he expresses are not correct, this may squelch further communication. Rather, why not thank him for being straightforward in expressing his thoughts, and encourage him always to speak freely with you? You have accomplished a great deal if your child expresses his true feelings to you. It puts you in a better position to talk with him.

16. How could a parent help his youngster to appreciate the correctness of God’s law prohibiting fornication?

¹⁶ If you should find that your youngster’s views are incorrect, then be prepared to reason with him on the matter. You might, for example, draw attention to the truly miraculous process of reproduction in which one fertilized cell divides and multiplies according to a prearranged plan to become a human baby, and then ask: “Don’t you think that the One who designed this marvelous reproductive process knows best how humans should use their God-given powers of reproduction?” (Ps. 139:13-17) Or you could ask: “Do you think that our loving Creator would make a law to rob us of the enjoyment of life? Or do you think his laws were made to enhance our happiness?” (Ps. 145:16) Such questions can start your youngster really to think on the matter. Then perhaps you can draw his attention to examples of how sexual immorality has led to disappointment, venereal diseases and calamity. (2 Sam. 13:1-33) In this way the child is helped to see the reasonableness and correctness of God’s law. As a result, he may come to accept God’s views, and you will thus have put God’s mind in him.

17. What help can prayer be in bringing children up in the “mental-regulating of Jehovah”?

¹⁷ In a similar way, you will want to put God’s mind into your children on many other matters, inculcating in them, for example, God’s laws in connection with being truthful, kind, peaceable, loving, and so forth. But if you have problems in teaching your children, what can you do? Manoah, the father of Samson, prayed to Jehovah for guidance in training his boy. (Judg. 13:8-14) Why not follow this example? Prayer to Jehovah can accomplish a great deal. One father explained that on occasions when his son would become moody or depressed and talked little, he would go to his bedroom at night and, after knocking, he would go in and say: “Son, I couldn’t help but notice that you haven’t been quite yourself these past few days. Is there something on your mind, something that we can talk about?” Usually they would be able to talk, and the father would suggest asking Jehovah’s help, saying: “Mind if I do that for us?” After the prayer, and once they had talked the matter out, the son was usually greatly benefited. When problems arise, praying with your children, asking Jehovah’s guidance, will prove an aid in bringing them up in the “mental-regulating of Jehovah.”

18. What besides teaching ability is needed to bring children up in the “mental-regulating of Jehovah”?

¹⁸ Much indeed is involved in putting God’s mind in your children, including a lot of time, effort and teaching ability. Yet it is not a matter of perfecting some academic teaching methods, but, rather, your love for your children, evidenced by your teaching them with earnestness, conviction and enthusiasm, that will prove especially effective in bringing them up in the “mental-regulating of Jehovah.” (Prov. 3:1-7) Also, your children will be helped if you explain to them that you, too, are under obligation to obey God’s laws, and that you are grateful for these laws because they have aided you to enjoy a happier life. Do you have a regular program of teaching your children, beginning to do so when they are very young, even from infancy?

A VALUABLE AID IN TEACHING CHILDREN

19. (a) What aid did the Watch Tower Society provide for helping parents to teach their children? (b) What are some of the lessons taught in this teaching aid?

¹⁹ Because the Watch Tower Society realized what a difficult job parents have in rearing children in this wicked system of things, it arranged that an aid be provided for parents in teaching their young ones. Beginning in the May 15, 1970, issue of The Watchtower, a series of articles “specially designed for parents to read with their children” was printed. These articles appeared in nearly every magazine up to and including the August 1, 1971, issue. Then in the summer of 1971 the small book Listening to the Great Teacher was released for circulation. It contains, not only these Watchtower articles in revised form, but many other subjects as well. Each subject is designed to impress upon a child’s mind some principle or instruction of God’s Word. In all, there are forty-six subjects based on the illustrations, teachings, miracles and life experiences of the Great Teacher, Jesus Christ. For example, the one entitled “A Good Neighbor” impresses the point that we should be kind to everyone; “One Leper Gave Glory to God” shows that we should not forget to say ‘Thank you’; “The Unforgiving Slave” stresses the importance of being forgiving; “Happy Are the Peaceable” explains why we should not become involved in fights; “Two Persons Who Did Not Tell the Truth” teaches that we should always tell the truth, and there are many more valuable lessons taught.

20, 21. What benefits have been realized from using this teaching aid?

²⁰ When this material began to be published, scores of letters began to be received expressing appreciation for this teaching aid. One parent wrote: “The results have been astonishing. Not only isn’t our daughter rebellious anymore, but she cannot wait for The Watchtower to come so that she can read these articles.” A mother explained: “I had a very hard time getting my children to study the Bible with me. They tried everything they could think of to get out of the study. Now, because of the enthusiasm that they show, my husband, who was a nonbeliever, has started to study the Bible.” A father wrote: “I have had difficulty communicating to my children the truths from Jehovah because one has to explain them in a certain way in which a child can understand. These articles have helped me to speak with them in a more interesting and delightful way. After we finish reading the articles together the children, all five, will say, ‘Is that all?’”

²¹ Even persons who are not Jehovah’s witnesses have found this to be a valuable aid in teaching children. A schoolteacher who had been given the book Listening to the Great Teacher said: “Thank you so much. It is exactly what I’ve been looking for. Many of these children get little training at home so we must teach them many basic things such as not to lie, steal, and so forth. I read them the first chapter today because they will have to know who the Great Teacher is.” A seven-year-old in an Indiana school offered to read the book to his class. By March 1972 he had read to them thirty chapters, and many in the school obtained books for themselves.

22. What is the finest gift parents can give their children?

²² Are you using this valuable aid in teaching your children? Surely you need every help you can receive to inculcate in your young ones the spiritual counsel and moral values that God has commanded that children be taught. Many parents have found the book Listening to the Great Teacher just what they have needed in order to do this. So do not fail to use it regularly. Truly, there is no better gift that you can give your children than to impart to them spiritual instruction that puts in them the mind of God!

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