OBEDIENT CHILDREN

18. Why is the difference in children so enjoyable?

¹⁸ There are many blessings in raising a family, and with this life there comes the vital matter of obedience. From the first breath and onward children have need for loving guidance. Children are different from adults. They depend on the parents for so many things. They mold easily in their tender years. They are more natural than adults​—curious, anxious to see what’s going on and figuring out what makes things work. The whole world lies before them as something to investigate, and they usually display great interest in the part that is near them. Children enjoy the company of others and readily group together. If not persuaded otherwise by adults, they adjust easily to differences in race, social standing or any other background affecting families. Children of the same family are different in temperament, and rarely do you find two close to being alike. This is why you find parents handling them differently and giving discipline in a different way. Children desire firm and, loving parents. They enjoy a simple life free of complexities. They are quick to ask, Why? They respond readily to fairness. They thrive on love. And there are many other interesting qualities you can find in your children that set them apart from adults.

19, 20. (a) Illustrate the course many persons follow in rearing families. (b) How do present-day facts prove that there is need for family training?

¹⁹ It would be hard to find a subject with more ideas, ranging from hints to hard, rigid rules, than the one in the field of rearing children. Everyone has something to say. Probably the well-known cycle can be illustrated in this way: Years ago a young boy grew up in a family that had to work from dawn to dark on the farm and usually seven days a week. There was no time to pursue play or investigate interesting items in the earth around him. Work and responsibility day after day. Essentials of schooling were often postponed to keep the farm obligations up. He vowed that, should he grow up and have a family, his children would have the full opportunity to enjoy life as youths free of grinding work and taxing responsibility. Time passed and his family became a reality. As a father he worked harder, longer hours to spare his children. They went to school, returning home each day to lunch prepared by mother, free thereafter for hurried homework, television, ball games or other play. No work, no responsibility. Then restlessness and monotony filtered in. Idle hands and brain directed feet to trouble. Senses lost their keenness with overstress on play. The young man in this family made a vow too! Should he grow up and have a family, his children would work, be trained to accomplish things and shoulder responsibility. And so the cycle has been completed many times. Families are reared by past bitter experience of parents.

²⁰ Another flaw that started with a minor fracture, but has grown to a wide gulf is that where parents farm their children’s training out to other people. Sometimes there is total reliance on teachers, schools, baby-sitters, summer camps, child-training organizations and relatives to care for the very needed work of molding the thinking and personality of the adult-to-be. Since the child is away from parental influence so long during the day at public schools, some have tried to overcome this with private tutors. Some religious organizations try to eliminate association with those of other faiths by running their own schools. But all of these ideas have not been the things that have brought happiness to parents as they watch their children grow; rather, problems and many tragedies have marred the family circle.

This example can encourage fathers now, and it can help them to appreciate the good there is in store for those who follow the only safe way to rear a family, and that is to make Jehovah’s Word the basis for family operation. Proverbs 1:33 makes this point: “As for the one listening to me, he will reside in security and be undisturbed from dread of calamity.” How much is it worth to have a son turn out good? How much time are you as a parent willing to invest? How much time can you spare to give the training and discipline? Can you instill in your young ones a useful goal? Have you found the way to make the course of obedience a happy one? Do your children find serving Jehovah the desirable way, the way they want to go to time indefinite?

THE VALUE REPRESENTED IN REARING CHILDREN

23-25. (a) How can parents work to avoid raising children that will cause them shame? (b) What was done with rebellious children in ancient Israel, but how could it be avoided? (c) What reminder does Matthew 11:29, 30 bring to our attention?

²³ Time spent in training a family, in providing material and spiritual food, is like putting money in the bank. It is an investment that should pay dividends even at an early time. But teaching children cannot be as mechanical as putting money in the bank. Each child is different and responds to various kinds of discipline. There were years in the past when mankind believed parents had been too strict, both at home and in school. So restrictions were eased. The young were allowed more liberties, to be more on their own, to develop, so the educators said. Do we need to talk about the results or print facts or proof as to the outcome? Everywhere the harvest proves the scripture at Proverbs 29:15 to be true: “The rod and reproof are what give wisdom, but a boy let on the loose will be causing his mother shame.” How hard it would be to take one’s disobedient child to the older men of the city for execution by stoning as they did in the days of Israel, according to Deuteronomy 21:18-21, where we read:

²⁴ “In case a man happens to have a son who is stubborn and rebellious, he not listening to the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and they have corrected him but he will not listen to them, his father and his mother must also take hold of him and bring him out to the older men of his city and to the gate of his place, and they must say to the older men of his city, ‘This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious; he is not listening to our voice, being a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of his city must pelt him with stones, and he must die. So you must clear away what is bad from your midst, and all Israel will hear and indeed become afraid.”

²⁵ It would be a difficult move for parents to make in order to follow through on this matter. Yet it could be avoided by loving discipline. It would be difficult to imagine a mother threatening her child: ‘If you don’t obey, we will deliver you to the older men of the city.’ We can readily understand what the wise writer of Proverbs 19:18 had in mind then when he advises how parents could avoid this drastic course. This same advice comes to us in time as we train our children too: “Chastise your son while there exists hope.” The best of wisdom came from Jesus in dealing with others, and surely this includes the family circle. As to his own manner of dealing he said: “I am mild-tempered and lowly in heart, and you will find refreshment for your souls. For my yoke is kindly and my load is light.” (Matt. 11:29, 30) Jesus was seeking obedience from all mankind, so if it draws thousands to Jesus in loving obedience, this same manner can draw a family ever closer to a loving head.

26, 27. (a) How much has been involved in bringing you who are young people up to where you are now in the stream of time? (b) What should young persons show toward their parents?

²⁶ Explore and weigh all the facts now, those of you youths who are from the age where reasoning begins, those of you who are still dependent upon your father’s direction. How valuable are you? Your parents may even try to determine your worth. They did not keep track of the hours of patient care or the amount of material things needed to bring you this far. It has been a huge investment. Now as you think on the matter, are you bringing some kind of benefits to your parents and the other members of your family? Dividends are paid as a result of a wise investment. Are you a wise investment?

²⁷ A small newspaper clipping was found in a Bible over one hundred years old. There was no author or source of information named, just these few lines that, over the years, have even taken on more meaning and that make this point: “At ten years of age a boy thinks his father knows a great deal, at fifteen he knows as much as his father, at twenty he knows twice as much, at thirty he is willing to take his advice, at forty he begins to think his father knows something after all, at fifty he begins to seek his advice and at sixty​—after his father is dead—​he thinks his father was the smartest man that ever lived.” It took so many years to gain appreciation for the one that had so much to do with their getting into this world and having life. Your parents could have ignored you at birth and turned you over to someone else to feed, house and teach. Some children do have institutions as their guardians, but even in the best of such institutions the love of father and mother is missing.

28. How might young folks increase their appreciation for the guidance and care that their parents provide?

²⁸ There may be times when you youths feel dissatisfied with your homelife and you can see so many flaws in the way things are being run. Do you have better ideas? Are you just thinking and not working to help improve matters? Chances are that if you were directing the family it would have the same flaws, since you are a product of your father and mother. You may feel improved methods of education equip you to do better, but wait a minute! The brainy men of this world cannot iron out the problems they face. Higher education and complicated computers have not been the tools to direct the human family to peace and contentment. Whenever you doubt the value of your parents, ask a friend how much he would charge to take on the responsibility of feeding, clothing, housing, nursing, educating, disciplining, entertaining, and helping a small baby from its first breath to when it reaches the adult age. The cost for such an operation would be tremendous, and, keep in mind, this has not included this other quality that you cannot buy​—love.

29. What proper attitude does Proverbs 23:22 urge all sons and daughters to have?

²⁹ You youths can easily see why the Bible says what it does at Proverbs 23:22: “Listen to your father who caused your birth, and do not despise your mother just because she has grown old.”

30. Why should a person not regard life as being all play?

³⁰ Some are saying that life is a game, and to keep it from being monotonous they want to make it all fun. But life is serious business; at best you have only a few years to enjoy. A mature man once told others: “Whatever things are of serious concern . . . continue considering these things.” (Phil. 4:8) “Women should likewise be serious.” (1 Tim. 3:11) “Let the aged men be . . . serious.” (Titus 2:2) It is not strange, then, that Jehovah expects mature fathers to train you children “with all seriousness.” (1 Tim. 3:4) Life is not all play. You have many excellent qualities hidden in your mind and physical body, and it is not wise to allow them to lie undeveloped and miss out on many enjoyable years with happiness as a result. Discipline, training, work and love bring these qualities out, to your good and enjoyment.

31, 32. Why should we be interested in training for various skills?

³¹ What a pleasure to accomplish things! After receiving instruction and supervision you may have the pleasure of building a piece of furniture for the family’s enjoyment. As a result of mother’s training, you may have the opportunity to make drapes or curtains for the home. You may cultivate ability as a cook, to be an economical shopper, a painter, a musician, mechanic, builder, gardener, landscape architect, dressmaker, and to have many other very useful as well as enjoyable accomplishments. Not only can you enjoy these activities, but they prove to be useful to the family. Actually in their application you are paying back to your parents dividends on the investment they have in you.

³² Of course, you can appreciate how much happiness this brings your parents. How satisfying it was to three daughters, eight, nine, and ten years old, who prepared and cooked an entire meal for the family and a large group of visitors. The parents were so pleased with the work of their hands. A teen-ager did such a fine job in painting the family house that it was rated far above average, as quality work. Two young boys raised enough vegetables in their backyard garden to supply the family all summer. They had watched it grow from tiny seeds to edible products. You can hold a job where others fail if you strive for quality, to do it right and produce good work. Nowadays it stands out above the generally ‘just-get-by’ work being done everywhere, and really reflects back on you, your family and your interest in life. Keep in mind that in every respect the principles made known at Proverbs 13:20 apply to our lives, namely: “He that is walking with wise persons will become wise, but he that is having dealings with the stupid ones will fare badly.”