level, where character is formed, a child wants to be told what he can and cannot do. He needs guideposts to help him orient himself to the world. He looks to his parents for these guideposts. If parents are lazy or indifferent or over-indulgent, is it any wonder that a child loses love and respect for them? How can a child continue to look up to a parent who continually compromises and yields to him?” Along this same line Judge Philip B. Gilliam of the Juvenile Court of Denver, Colorado, gave some direct advice of interest and help to conscientious parents, saying: “Young people need a lot of parental love in their lives. That means supplying the sturdy discipline they require and unknowingly crave. And it means giving wisely of yourself, your experience and judgment.” So do not hold back discipline from the mere boy. A good pat on the back, only lower down, will not kill him. It will assure him that you care. The following scriptures emphasize the wisdom of the use of discipline: Proverbs 3:11, 12; 4:1; 13:1, 24; 19:18; 22:15; 23:13, 14.

12. Show how a seemingly clear order might be confusing to a child. What must parents do to make instruction clear to children?

¹² Spanking may not always be the answer when your child disobeys. Tact, poise, wisdom and a little good sense on your part as parents pay off. A warm smile is very disarming; even little children cannot resist it. However, before you scold your child make sure he, and not you yourself, is at fault. For example, you may say, “Johnny, don’t scribble in the Society’s books, or else you’ll get a whipping!” That sounds clear enough to you, but is it to Johnny? You allow him to mark up other books. He sees you underlining your Bible, so in the little mind the thought is, “Why not this one?” So in your training of your child let him know in a way that he will understand. “This book belongs to daddy. You must not mark in it.” Or, “This book is to be placed in service. There must be no marks in it—understand?” Give him a reason for your order. A spanking will not always help.

13, 14. (a) What goal will parents want to set before their child, and how? (b) In what way can parents train their child in the house-to-house ministry? (c) What qualities will help the child to see that the ministry is a desirable career to pursue? (d) How can parents train their children to do work and accept responsibility?

¹³ Theocratic parents will want to instill in their child a desire to become one of Jehovah’s ministers. Set this goal before the heart of the child early. You can best do this by setting a good example yourself. Take your child with you from house to house in the ministry, on back-calls and home Bible studies. Explain to him why you do things. You must make sure the child understands both how and why he is expected to do things. Tell him why you gave that particular sermon at the door, why you offered the book instead of the magazines. Invite his comments. Inculcate respect with reasons. It is best not to be dictating always.—Ex. 12:26, 27.

¹⁴ Kindness, warmth and understanding go a long way toward creating in the child a desire to become one of Jehovah’s witnesses. It is not enough just to say to your son or daughter, “I want you to be a minister for Jehovah.” The child must see in you a good reason for becoming one. What you say, how you live and conduct yourself are weighed in the child’s mind for or against the ministry. So if you mingle your training with tender love and affection, the child will see that the ministry is a desirable career to pursue. Do not be hesitant about telling your child how much you love having him with you at the Kingdom Hall, how pleased you are with his comments and note-taking. Encourage him whenever you can and do it sincerely. The effect for good is overwhelming. Express your appreciation for even the slightest work he may do. He may be slow and inefficient, but remember, he is still a child. It takes him longer to see and do things. Do not make a big issue or, as children say, “a federal case” out of everything. Make things seem natural, easy and right when training them. “As long as a job is fun,” says a disenchanted father, “the kids are dynamos; but when work becomes routine or requires some extra effort, off they go.” Well, then, make washing dishes, mowing the lawn, polishing the car, cleaning the Kingdom Hall, the service center activity and the field ministry pleasurable—“fun.” Be patient, however, with children. Good work habits and attitudes take time to develop. But with good adult example and good adult-child co-operation, the goal of the ministry can be attained. Dr. Charlotte D. Elmott, director of guidance and secondary education in the Santa Barbara schools, in California, declared: “Once young people get experience in a job, they really begin to grow up.” Train them to accept little jobs at first, then to accept heavier work and responsibility. Soon they will be in position to take the lead in the service and assume servant duties. Do not withhold from them this privilege. Also, equip your child with a trade and perhaps a hobby. This will help to keep him balanced when he grows older.

LITTLE THINGS MEAN A LOT

15. In what way can parents use tact when training their children?

¹⁵ Children are very sensitive. Little things mean a lot to them. “If only mother and dad would be more appreciative,” they say. Be appreciative. Commend your child whenever you can. Be sympathetic and understanding. Say, “I thought that review was rather difficult, but you have a fine grade.” Always have something good to say to take the sharpness out of your criticism. “I thought you gave a good talk at the theocratic ministry school, son. But keep working on the points the school servant mentioned.” Only when absolutely necessary rebuke. Even then, cushion such blows with love and affection and an understanding tone. Bear in mind: “A rebuke works deeper in one having understanding.” Also, we are told “to be tactful toward all,” which includes our children.—Prov. 17:10; 2 Tim. 2:24, 25; Gal. 6:1.

16. What is the most vital element in training of children, and why is it important that parents take time to listen to their children?

¹⁶ The most vital element of all in training a child is that the parents love the child in the sense of being devoted to it, wanting it to turn out well, enjoying all of its good qualities. Dr. Spock says: A child “expresses his devotion to his parents by molding himself in their image; not just in the sense of copying their skills, occupations, manner of speech, but genuinely trying to be civilized and responsible like them. This is how the boy acquires much of his desire to be cooperative with men, brave in danger, courteous to women, faithful to a job, just as his father is. This is how a girl is inspired to be helpful in the home, devoted to babies (live and doll babies), tender to other members of the family, as her mother is.” In the same manner your child will want to imitate you to become a minister of God. Therefore, set before him a good example. Show children love and sympathy. Listen to their problems and experiences. Listening to them gives them the feeling that their thoughts are important to you, that you know what is on their minds, that you care for them and can help them with their problems. If you do not listen to them, someone else will. They may get wrong advice.

17. (a) What does every child need, and how can this be arranged? (b) How can parents instill in their child the missionary spirit, and what is the greatest blessing that they can bestow upon a child?

¹⁷ Train your children as you yourself would want to be trained. Be concerned about them. Parents, where are your children now? What are they doing? When was the last time you had a good heart-to-heart talk with them? Every child needs the chance to have a parent all to himself. Give him this chance by going for a walk with him. This allows him to get acquainted with you. Take him with you in service, on picnics, for rides; play with him. Take your child to baptismal services, to all congregation meetings, to national and international assemblies of Jehovah’s witnesses. Whenever possible, work alongside him. Encourage him to preach and teach as a vacation pioneer. Have him join you to serve where the need for Kingdom witnessing is great. Instill in his young mind the missionary spirit by reading Yearbook experiences, by entertaining missionaries and pioneers in your home. Teach your child to love the brothers, the truth of God’s Word, the New World society, for this is the way of life. What greater blessing can a parent bestow upon his child than a good introduction to the Kingdom ministry, which is the way leading to everlasting life?

18. (a) Children that receive what instruction usually stand fast to their early training? (b) Of what is proper child training a vindication?

¹⁸ When children are trained to be industrious, when they are restrained and corrected with a due mixture of firmness and affection, when they are disciplined to endure hardship, to keep their place and obey, and when all this is enforced by good examples set before them and when constant prayers are made for and with them, children generally do not depart from the way. The good effects of their training can be seen wherever they go and as long as they live. Such well-trained children become a source of deep joy to their parents. Yes, parents, Jehovah’s Word says: “The father of a righteous one will without fail be joyful.” (Prov. 23:24) Therefore, parents, train up your child in the way he should go. If you do, your child will be a joy to you, a blessing to the theocratic organization, and a vindication of the arrangement that Jehovah instituted for the training of children, namely, the home, with the father and mother in the key positions.

Parents, Safeguard Your Child’s Life with Accurate Knowledge

1. What questions should parents and children ask themselves at this time, and why?

PARENTS of the New World society now stand with their children at the portals of God’s new world of promise, but they have yet to enter. Satan and his demons and a terribly corrupt and wicked world would, if possible, prevent them from entering. What can parents do to safeguard themselves and their children from being sucked into this world’s depravity and destruction? What can children do to avoid contamination with this old world, thus protecting themselves from being destroyed with it at Armageddon? What must be done by both parents and children should be of interest to all desiring life.

2. To survive this world’s end, what must parents and children do?

² Jehovah God through his inspired Word informs us what to do to survive this world’s end. “Acquire wisdom, acquire understanding,” is the wise counsel. “Do not forget and do not turn aside from the sayings of my mouth. Do not leave it and it will keep you. Love it and it will safeguard you.” “For wisdom is for a protection the same as money is for a protection; but the advantage of knowledge is that wisdom itself preserves alive its owners.” Therefore, if parents are to survive this time of trouble with their children and enter the promised new world, they must search out the wisdom of Jehovah, be taught of his ways and live according to them. The accurate knowledge of Jehovah’s Word will become a protective shield about them in this hour of temptation and crisis.—Prov. 4:5, 6; Eccl. 7:12.

3. (a) When should children begin to be taught, and how? (b) What responsibility rests on parents regarding children and their aim in life? (c) To prevent children from going astray, what else must children be taught, and in what way is this best done?

³ Early in life children must be taught the wisdom of Jehovah, the principles of Christian living. As soon as the child is old enough to ask questions about life, it is old enough to receive forthright answers. It is not necessary to explain things in detail for a child, just answer the questions briefly, plainly and happily. There is no reason why we should hedge. Jehovah is plain speaking in the Bible and parents can be just as plain when speaking to their children. It is the responsibility of the parents to give a child a goal in life. Christian parents will want to make the new world with its blessings and life that goal for their child. To that end they will inculcate now in their child the principles of new-world living. This should include instruction on the facts of life, the child’s biological make-up, its basic emotions and desires. At no time should parents feel it necessary to weave in fairy-tale stories about “storks carrying babies” when explaining the origin of life. The miracle of birth is nothing to be ashamed of. Satisfy the little curious minds with the “whys” and “wherefores” of life, because if you do not tell them, someone else will, but what children may learn from others may not always be the truth. Children should also be taught the need for self-control, that the driving force in them toward procreation has power to attract, to embarrass, divide and destroy a happy relationship if misused. Children must be taught that there are rights and wrongs and must learn to distinguish between them. (Heb. 5:14) They must grow to appreciate that many wrongs do not make a right, that widespread immorality among men does not justify one’s becoming immoral, that Jehovah’s laws must be regarded above all else if one is to gain life. Because “the inclination of the heart of man is bad from his youth up,” and because “foolishness is tied up with the heart of a boy,” it may be necessary to restrain, discipline and even punish the child to keep him from going astray. (Gen. 8:21; Prov. 22:15) A child learns best by loving parental example. A child properly trained will be able to say as the psalmist did: “From every bad path I have restrained my feet, in order that I may keep your word.” Yes, the Word of Jehovah will be a safeguard in this wayward world.—Ps. 119:101-105.

4. (a) What Bible warning do we have about the dangers of sex? (b) What is the unhealthy moral state of the world, and with what consequence to youth?

⁴ Perhaps the most dangerous of all corruptions