THE VITAL ROLE OF THE FATHER

11. (a) How can the father establish his role in the child’s mind? (b) Why is this vital?

¹¹ It is natural that in early infancy the mother plays a more prominent role in the child’s life. But from the baby’s birth onward the father should also be a part of the baby’s world. Even when the child is still an infant, the father can and should get involved, caring for the baby at times, playing with it, comforting it when it cries. In this way the father gets established in the child’s mind. The father’s role should gradually come to take on greater prominence as time passes. If he waits too long to begin, it can be the start of a problem that surfaces especially when the child becomes a teen-ager and discipline becomes more difficult. The teen-age son especially may need his father’s help. But if a good relationship has not been established before, the gulf produced over a period of years cannot be bridged in a few weeks.

12, 13. (a) What is the father’s role in the family? (b) How can a father’s fulfilling his responsibilities in the right way affect his children’s view of authority?

¹² Whether the child is a boy or a girl, the influence of the father’s masculine qualities can make a vital contribution to the development of a rounded-out, balanced personality. God’s Word shows that the father is to be the head of the family. He is responsible to provide materially for them. (1 Corinthians 11:3; 1 Timothy 5:8) Yet, “not by bread alone does man live but by every expression of Jehovah’s mouth does man live.” As regards his children, the father is also commanded to “go on bringing them up in the discipline and mental-regulating of Jehovah.” (Deuteronomy 8:3; Ephesians 6:4) While natural affection for his offspring should motivate him, it is, above all, a sense of responsibility to his Creator that should move him to do his best to fulfill the divine commission that is his.

¹³ Along with the warmth, tenderness and compassion that a mother expresses, the father can contribute a stabilizing influence, one of strength and of wise direction. The way he handles his God-given assignment can have a marked effect on his children’s later attitude toward authority, both human and divine, as to whether they respect it and how well they can work under another’s direction without chafing or rebelling.

14. What effect can the father’s good example have on his son or daughter?

¹⁴ If he has a son, the father’s example and handling of matters can do much to determine whether the boy grows up to be a weak, indecisive person, or one who is manly, steady, showing courage of conviction and a willingness to shoulder responsibility. It can affect the kind of husband or father the son eventually becomes—a rigid, unreasoning, harsh one, or one who is balanced, discerning and kind. If there is a daughter in the family, her father’s influence and relationship can affect her whole outlook on the male sex and either contribute to or hinder her future success in marriage. The effect of this paternal influence begins from infancy.

15, 16. (a) What responsibility of teaching does the Bible place on a father? (b) How can this be discharged?

¹⁵ The extensiveness of the father’s responsibility to teach is shown in God’s instructions to his people at Deuteronomy 6:6, 7: “These words that I am commanding you today must prove to be on your heart; and you must inculcate them in your son and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up.”

¹⁶ Not just the words themselves that are found in God’s Word but also the message they convey must be impressed daily on the child’s mind. Opportunities are always there. Flowers in a garden, insects in the air, birds or squirrels in the trees, seashells on the beach, pinecones in the mountains, stars twinkling in the night sky—all these wonders speak of the Creator, and you should interpret to your children the meaning of their utterances. The psalmist says: “The heavens are declaring the glory of God; and of the work of his hands the expanse is telling. One day after another day causes speech to bubble forth, and one night after another night shows forth knowledge.” (Psalm 19:1, 2) By being alert to use these things, and especially to draw upon the daily affairs of life in illustrating and emphasizing right principles and in showing the wisdom and benefit of God’s counsel, the father can build up in the mind and heart of his child the most essential basis for the future: the conviction not only that God is, but that ‘he rewards those who earnestly seek him.’—Hebrews 11:6.

17, 18. (a) How should a father discipline his children? (b) What is more effective than the making of many rules?

¹⁷ Discipline is also part of the father’s role. “What son is he that a father does not discipline?” is the question asked at Hebrews 12:7. But it is his obligation to do this in a way that does not go to extremes, overcorrecting to the point of irritation or even harassment. To fathers, God’s Word says, “Do not be exasperating your children, so that they do not become downhearted.” (Colossians 3:21) Restrictions are necessary, but sometimes we can multiply and expand rules until they become burdensome and discouraging.

¹⁸ The Pharisees of ancient times were lovers of rules; they accumulated heaps of them and produced crops of hypocrites. It is a human failing to think that problems can be solved simply by making additional rules; but life’s experiences make plain that reaching the heart is the real key. So be sparing on rules; try instead to instill principles, aiming in the direction that God himself does: “I will put my laws in their mind, and in their hearts I shall write them.”—Hebrews 8:10.

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Do you plan activities with your children?