scourging, but it is upbuilding, it is loving.—Heb. 12:6, NW.

LOVE BUILDS UP THE FAMILY CIRCLE

10. Why does love for Jehovah build up the family circle?

¹⁰ Among the things that love builds up is the family circle. And above all else, love for Jehovah builds up the family circle. How so? Because love for Jehovah is concerned about his good name and that of the New World society. Break down the family circle and the result is separation, adultery and divorce, adult and juvenile delinquency, all of which bring reproach upon Jehovah and the New World society, therefore playing right into the hands of Satan, the Devil. That is why Jehovah is interested in preserving the family circle, and the Devil is interested in destroying it. Just as Christians entered the marital relationship in the first place, not merely to enjoy connubial bliss, but because of love for Jehovah and his righteous requirements; so this same love can furnish the strongest motivation for our wanting to make a success of marriage by building up the family circle.

11. What does it mean to love a person? and how can a husband’s love build up his wife spiritually?

¹¹ As has been well observed, ‘to love a person means to care for and feel responsible for his life and growth and the development of all his faculties and powers.’ Of course, the husband, by reason of his Scriptural position as the head of the wife, has a very definite obligation in this regard, and love will help him to build up his wife. Love for her will help him to set the right example as to the study of God’s Word, zeal for the ministry and proper Christian conduct. Being concerned for her welfare, he will put the emphasis in life where it belongs, on the Kingdom interests, and to that end he will cultivate spiritual-mindedness, directing the conversation in uplifting channels, and seeing to it that his wife also has time for study, meetings and service. And while not neglecting her material needs, he will not overlook the fact that his wife needs love even more than material things, for she can, if need be, supply her own material needs but she cannot provide the love, affection and appreciation that she so much needs. Love will therefore cause the husband to hear and to see his wife’s good qualities and give expression to that appreciation, for do we not read, “a woman that feareth Jehovah, she shall be praised,” and is not the logical one to give that praise, first of all, her husband? Certainly!—Prov. 31:30, AS.

12, 13. How does a loving husband conduct himself in respect to the more intimate marital relationships, and with what benefit to himself?

¹² All such is included in the Scriptural injunction: “Husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies.” And more. Love will cause him to be thoughtful and considerate in the more intimate aspects of the marital relationship, showing patience and understanding when she suffers from the vicissitudes peculiar to womankind. The husband also builds up his wife by heeding the counsel at Proverbs 5:15-20 (RS) regarding letting himself be infatuated by his wife and not by a strange woman, for only then can she give her undivided attention to her duties, secure in his constancy.—Eph. 5:28, NW.

¹³ And perhaps nothing more truly indicates a husband’s love for his wife and his concern to build her up than his attitude regarding marital dues, his most vulnerable spot as regards selfishness. Not only will he “render to his wife her due,” since “the husband does not exercise authority over his own body, but his wife does,” but, remembering Matthew 7:12, he will be thoughtful and considerate of her emotional nature, and not abuse his rights simply because “the wife does not exercise authority over her own body, but her husband does.” That a husband’s considerateness in these matters will build up his wife spiritually Peter implies when he wrote: “You husbands, continue dwelling in like manner with them according to knowledge, assigning them honor as to a weaker vessel, the feminine one, since you are also heirs with them of the undeserved favor of life, in order for your prayers not to be hindered.” And that moderation and self-control in this matter can even build up the husband intellectually and spiritually is a fact recognized by medical science as well as implied by Paul’s counsel on the subject. (See 1 Corinthians 7:1, 5.)—1 Cor. 7:3, 4; 1 Pet. 3:7, NW.

LOVE ALSO BUILDS UP THE HUSBAND

14. How can a wife’s love build up her husband?

¹⁴ Although the wife is the “weaker vessel” her love can build up her husband. If it is his privilege to “work hard in speaking and teaching,” she will be among the first to account him “worthy of double honor.” Instead of trying to boss her husband she will remember that God’s Word requires wives to be subject “to their husbands in everything.” Her love can build up her husband, not by preparing his talks for him or by criticizing him, but by letting him study under the most favorable conditions possible, by not taking herself too seriously, by not bothering him with every little problem or petty annoyance, by being honest with him when he asks her opinion and by properly looking after his creature comforts.—1 Tim. 5:17; Eph. 5:24, NW.

15. How should she view herself, and why will love make a wife discreet?

¹⁵ Love will make a wife devoted, loyal and understanding, all of which strengthen her husband, particularly in time of stress. It will help her to see herself in the right light, neither as her husband’s head nor as his doormat, but as his helper at his side, neither pushing herself forward nor being too diffident to offer help when it is needed, for which occasions love will also give her the insight. Love will make a wife discreet and modest, which also builds up her husband: “A good wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.” And shame an indiscreet wife does bring: “Like a gold ring in a swine’s snout is a beautiful woman without discretion.”—Prov. 12:4; 11:22, RS.

16. (a) How can a wife’s love build up her husband as regards marital dues? (b) If not from her husband, from whom is she certain to receive her reward?

¹⁶ And as with the husband, perhaps the acid test of her love is a wife’s willingness to co-operate with her husband in regard to marital dues. If she loves her husband she will not tyrannize over him because of his need, choosing to ignore what a burden she represents to him and that the only Scriptural reason at the present time for his assuming to carry such a burden is the attraction that God placed in the sexes for each other. Rather, she will be thankful that she can contribute so much to his mental, emotional and physical well-being. On the other hand, love will keep her from becoming frustrated because, at times, for the sake of God’s service ‘those having mates need be as though they had none.’ And, whether it is fully appreciated or not, love will cause the Christian wife to do her part to build up her husband, confident that she will receive a reward from Jehovah, and knowing that by such a course she builds up herself.—1 Cor. 7:28, 29, NW.

17. Recognition of what facts will help husband and wife the better to appreciate each other?

¹⁷ Yes, love will cause both wife and husband to build each other up. And among still other ways in which they can do this is by being patient and forgiving with each other’s weaknesses, hiding them from outsiders, for do we not read that “love covers a multitude of sins”? Love will also help them to appreciate that God created Eve to be “as a complement of” Adam. The loving husband will therefore not expect his wife to reason always on problems as clearly as he would like, nor will the loving wife expect of her husband the same degree of sensitive feeling that she may be capable of. At the same time love will enable each to see in the other’s strong points opportunities for self-improvement. What opportunities husbands and wives have to build each other up!—1 Pet. 4:8; Gen. 2:18, NW.

LOVE BUILDS UP THE CHILDREN

18. What scientific evidence shows that love builds up children?

¹⁸ Perhaps nowhere is the truth that “love builds up” brought home more forcibly than in the rearing of children. Modern medical research has found not only that a mother’s love is indispensable to the mental and physical growth of infants and young children, but that lack of mother love is the greatest factor in juvenile delinquency. Graphically illustrating love’s power to build up is an experiment certain scientists made with baby rats. For a few minutes each day the scientists nestled the baby rats close to their chests and gently stroked them from the back of the head to the base of the tail. Those that were thus fondled gained more weight, grew larger bones and were less fearful of strange conditions than were other rats. When, as adults, the rats were put under severe stress, such as being held immobile for forty-eight hours and without food and water, the fondled rats showed far less damage to their organisms than did the ones not receiving such special care. (Science News Letter, January 2, 1954) That the same is true of humankind is the report on a group of 165 housewives, professional and business people who regularly visit one of New York city’s largest hospitals, Bellevue, to bring neglected children patients love, “a medicine the best hospitals cannot buy,” which “works wonders,” and is “a vitamin without which babies weaken or lapse into idiocy and older children tend to fade or turn delinquent.”—Saturday Evening Post, July 30, 1955.

19. Of what should fathers, in particular, be cognizant?

¹⁹ Love will cause parents to see their children’s needs and how they can supply those needs, especially their spiritual needs, distinguishing, of course, between what their children want and what really are their needs. Love will make parents the cheerful, poised and wholesome companions of their children, and especially will love make fathers the much needed companions of their sons. Scientific research indicates that one of the main reasons why many boys form into destructive “gangs” is lack of wholesome adult male companionship. So you fathers in particular, note God’s command through Moses: “You must inculcate [my words] in your son and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up.” To inculcate means “to impress upon the mind by repeated and emphatic repetition or admonition.”—Deut. 6:7, NW.

20. Why should parents not begrudge their children the time they require to be trained properly?

²⁰ Parental love builds up because it does not begrudge children the time it could spend in worldly diversions. It does not hire a baby sitter to substitute for it. Love will not even begrudge children the time spent with them that could be spent in other theocratic activities. Time is a prime essential in bringing up children “in the discipline and authoritative advice of Jehovah,” and parental obligations come first. Should that seem to be a strong statement, let fathers remember that neglecting their children can disqualify them for a servant’s position! Love will make you even more concerned about the spiritual welfare of your children than you are regarding the spiritual progress of the ones with whom you are conducting home Bible studies.—Eph. 6:4; 1 Tim. 3:4, 5, NW.

21. By doing what will parental love build up children spiritually?

²¹ Parental love will help you to build up your children because it will enable you to understand them, to reason patiently with them and to make certain that they grasp the import of what you are endeavoring to teach them. Just as love enables a wife and mother to note at once if her husband or children are not well physically, so love should enable you to detect any spiritual weakness in your children so that you can remedy it before it is too late. By studying the lessons for congregational meetings together, by supervising their preparation of program assignments, and by letting them accompany you in all the features of the Christian ministry you will be laying a good foundation for their career as Christian ministers. Show tenderness, gentleness and compassion, yet do not become sentimental. Bear in mind that “he who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.” Nor overlook that even on such occasions love “does not become provoked.”—Prov. 13:24, RS; 1 Cor. 13:5, NW.

THE CHILDREN’S PART

22. What obligation do children have regarding their own upbuilding?

²² In building up the family circle you children can also share, in fact, must, if you are to be built up. You can also lighten the burdens of your parents, giving them more time and energy to build up themselves. No matter how hard your parents try, unless you have the right heart condition they will not be able to build you up spiritually. “Even a child makes himself known by his acts, whether what he does is pure and right.” Love for Jehovah and love for your parents will make you willingly “obedient to your parents in everything.” Love will cause you to work with your parents, not against them, in their efforts to build you up. Love will help you to see their correction of you in the right light, as something given for your own good.—Prov. 20:11, RS; Col. 3:20, NW.

23. How can children have a share in the upbuilding of their parents?

²³ Nor is that all. As Christian witnesses of Jehovah your parents have many obligations to meet besides providing for you materially and spiritually. By loving obedience and willing co-operation you can lighten their load of looking after you. Additionally, love will help you to see what needs to be done around the home and will make you help all you can, not waiting to be told and then grumbling because such duties take you away from play. Such thoughtfulness helps build up your mother for it will leave her with time and strength for Bible study, congregational meetings and Christian ministry. And by being careful not to make needless demands upon your father as regards his money, time or patience, you can also have a part in building him up. In all such ways you show yourselves wise, and wise children make happy parents. (Prov. 15:20; 27:11) Yes, each member of the family circle, husband, wife, parent and child, has an obligation toward the others and, by manifesting love, can build them up as well as himself, all to Jehovah’s praise.

Love Builds Up the New World Society

1, 2. (a) Why can the Christian witnesses of Jehovah properly be termed a New World society? (b) What facts and scriptures show that it is love that builds up the New World society?

THE Christian witnesses of Jehovah are known as a New World society because they make known God’s new world and conduct themselves as fitting ambassadors of the new world. They are motivated by the New World principle of love, love for Jehovah and for their neighbor. This is so obviously true that time and again the public press commented upon it when reporting on their Triumphant Kingdom assemblies that were held in North America and Europe during 1955.

² This is exactly as it should be, for their Leader, Jesus Christ, laid the greatest emphasis on love, even stating that by it his true followers could be identified. “I am giving you a new commandment, that you love one another; just as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love among yourselves.” Love is the “perfect bond of union,” that binds the members of the New World society together, making them strong, able to present a united front against the whole world and defeating Satan’s two-pronged attack of persecution and materialism. “Two are better than one,” and “a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” What love accomplishes in building up the family circle it also accomplishes with the New World society and for the same reasons.—John 13:34, 35; Col. 3:14, NW; Eccl. 4:9, 12, RS.

LOVE BUILDS UP AT MEETINGS

3, 4. How does love view gathering with God’s people, and so what does it do toward that end?

³ Love builds up the New World society because it draws us to the various meetings and assemblies of dedicated Christians, where we receive increased light on God’s Word, spiritual strength and encouragement to continue serving Jehovah. Not only that, but love makes us view all such gatherings as opportunities to build up others. Love makes us want to come early and to extend a warm welcome to our brothers and the good-will stranger. Love causes us to be keenly interested in what is said from the platform, for by paying close attention we build up the speaker. Love will also make us want to linger after the meeting is over to exchange experiences and to give a helpful and encouraging word or gesture to one who may