How You Can Fight Depression

“IF YOU could get all the people who are depressed just to exercise,” said Armand DiMele of the DiMele Center for Psychotherapy, “three-quarters of them would find their mood lifted.” Others agree when it pertains to a person’s having the “blues” and not major depression.a Proper rest and sleep also are vital.

Some mildly depressed persons are helped by setting aside some time for activities they especially enjoy. One woman who loves to make clothes said: “It’s hard to be depressed when you’re being creative.” At times, all that is needed is a change of pace​—perhaps eating in a restaurant one evening or a short vacation.

Pouring out one’s heart to a trusted friend is a big help. But, be careful of your associates​—either in person or through the TV/​movie screen. Avoid like the plague gloomy complainers and shows that can corrupt a person’s morals or defile his conscience.​—Prov. 17:17; 1 Cor. 15:33.

Yet, what if the depressed mood lingers?

Is It Your Food?

Take a careful look at your diet. The chief probation officer in Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio, Barbara Reed, explained to an Awake! staff writer that many of the offenders assigned to her office complained of depression. She examined their diet. Many lived on “junk food” and ate no breakfast, and some went for weeks without eating green vegetables. A better diet​—regular balanced meals—​and exercise helped many to have an improved mood. “One depressed 20-year-old with a deep lack of self-worth, arrested for criminal damage, lived on ‘junk food,”’ reported Mrs. Reed. But with an improved diet and proper counseling his depressed mood lifted and his behavior improved.

Authorities disagree as to whether a person’s diet causes depression. Even with the finest of food some still get depressed. Others are not helped by an improved diet. Each person is different, and some are more sensitive to substances like sugar and caffeine than others. But eating balanced meals, coupled with moderation when it comes to consuming such things as pies, pastry, chocolate, candy and soda pop will often pay dividends for depressed persons.

Because severe depression could be a symptom of physical disorders it is also important to get a complete medical checkup.

Are You Thinking Correctly?

While not all cases of depression result from a wrong outlook, a recent 10-year study showed that depressed persons often interpret situations incorrectly. “The depressed person feels sad and lonely because he erroneously thinks he is inadequate and deserted,” explains researcher and psychiatrist A. T. Beck. The Bible also shows that how you feel at heart can color your thinking about external matters. It states: “All the days of the afflicted one are bad; but the one that is good at heart [in a cheerful frame of mind] has a feast constantly.” Whether a person has ‘all bad days’ or ‘every day like a feast’ depends in large measure on his frame of mind.​—Prov. 15:15.

So depressed individuals must work hard to correct their thinking and guard what they ponder on. This can be far easier to say than to do! Some damaging thoughts common to many depressed persons are listed in the box. Each one is faulty. When these come into mind, quickly dismiss them. Dwelling on them will lead to low self-esteem and deeper depression.

Excessive guilt feelings usually accompany depression. But realize that everyone makes mistakes. “If errors were what you watch, O Jah, O Jehovah,” said the psalmist, “who could stand?” Nobody! Yet genuine forgiveness for our blunders and sins can be found with Jehovah God.​—Ps. 130:3, 4.

The Value of Accomplishment

Grieved over her husband’s death and disappointed with others’ unfulfilled promises to repair her home, one widow became deeply depressed. But then she thought, ‘The repairs couldn’t be that hard.’ She got busy and soon retiled her kitchen floor. Though it was not a perfect job, she was pleased. Her self-esteem soared; her depression melted away.

Not everyone could do this, but one research study showed that while some severely depressed patients felt that they could not accomplish certain tasks, they actually performed these as well as the nondepressed participants.

The accomplishments a depressed one could reach out for might involve more than just housework. For instance, they might include cheering up someone by a visit or a phone call, or doing something nice for one’s family.

One depressed Christian woman visited a young woman who had just been viciously beaten, raped and stabbed. The Christian, though depressed, tried hard each week to visit and comfort her. The result? “Gradually I no longer felt depressed,” reported the Christian. “Trying to encourage her in time made me forget my own problems.” She found true what Jesus said: “There is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving.”​—Acts 20:35.

“Be Angry Without Doing Wrong”

Another factor in depression is coping with anger, says psychologist DiMele. “What usually happens is that a person feels anger toward some person, probably for some seemingly irrational reason. Yet the person believes the anger is not good because he’s been taught ‘Anger is bad.’ So you start blaming yourself for feeling angry and you get angry at yourself. This, combined with a sense of helplessness, brings depression.”

However, to vent anger uncontrollably on others not only is dangerous but, as studies have shown, does not relieve the depression either. The Bible cautions: “Be angry without doing wrong; let not the sun go down on your wrath [or, “with you in a provoked state”].” (Eph. 4:26, The Bible in Basic English; compare New World Translation.) By being willing, not afraid, to express their feelings and being candid but kind, depressed ones can communicate their feelings in a way that promotes peace. Especially is such open communication vital between marriage mates.

However, something excels all these suggestions. Because the suicide rate among depressives is 25 times as great as it is among the general population, this can make the difference between life and death. What is it?

Prayer and a Relationship with God

“The only thing that kept me from pulling the trigger and ending it all,” confessed one mother suffering with major depression, “was the relationship I had with God. I had the gun in my hand, and at that moment Jehovah God really helped me to put it away.” Yes, this woman found strength “beyond what is normal” to endure until her condition responded to medical treatment. She had developed real faith through her study of the Bible and attendance at Christian meetings where she found real friends. This faith saved her life.​—2 Cor. 4:7, 8; Phil. 4:13.

One of the ways that God helps is by providing his Word, the Bible, which shows how to make one’s family life better; how to get along with others; how to avoid conduct that can create anxiety and guilt; and how to choose worthwhile works and goals in life. Following this information can help relieve many stressful situations that bring depression.​—Col. 3:5-14, 18-21; 1 Tim. 6:9, 10, 17-19.

Even with strong faith one who is suffering from depression may have doubts, perhaps feeling that God has abandoned him. But never stop praying! “I prayed daily​—five and six times intensely,” said one mother who was so depressed that she could barely get out of bed for months. “I begged and begged for help. I pleaded that Jehovah God would give me the proper direction to find a doctor that knew what was wrong and could help me. I prayed for strength just to keep going and keep things straight enough so I wouldn’t do any more damage to my family.” Such persistence paid off. She endured until appropriate medication relieved her major depression.

“Prevent It”

“The most important advice I can give is, ‘Prevent it,”’ said one sufferer. But how? There are no easy or sure answers. Some authorities suggest:

1. Don’t build your sense of worth on love, money, social position, power or drugs. The failure of these could be devastating if you do.

2. Set realistic expectations. Aim to do the best you can, but not to be a perfectionist.

3. Recognize the early symptoms (anxiety, panic, inability to concentrate). Check to see if your daily schedule is reasonable. If not, adjust it. Learn to say “No” when necessary.

However, millions of persons, despite many personal pressures, have found one of the greatest helps in preventing depression to be the gaining of an accurate knowledge of the will and purposes of “the Father of tender mercies and the God of all comfort.”​—2 Cor. 1:3.

[Footnotes]

How Others Can Help

IT IS vital for others to show empathy to the depressed​—to put themselves in the other person’s place. What this means was demonstrated in the following case. The depressed father, after lashing out at his wife, sobbed: “I don’t mean to be this way!” He was deeply moved by his wife’s simple, understanding reply: “I know you don’t, honey.”

Dr. Ari Kiev, a clinical associate professor of psychiatry, warned: “When families see the depression as a result of willfulness, an unwillingness to fight it off, then that tends to increase the patient’s frustration. . . . And one would see suicidal acts.” However, he adds: “People could ride out the depression better if they and their families accepted it as an illness that runs a self-limited course and eventually will pass.” Such advice is good for both family and friends.

“Speak Consolingly”

Some who suffered major depression were asked what comments from others helped the most. They said: “I understand,” “We love you,” “I know you’ll soon be your old self again,” “You look a lot better today” and “I don’t know exactly how you feel, but we’re behind you.” One mother wrote: “Just to hear my children say, ‘We need you,’ was like a shot in the arm.” But she added: “Undue criticism to a person already depressed is like a bullet of death.” How practical the Bible’s inspired counsel! It urges: “Speak consolingly to the depressed souls, support the weak, be long-suffering toward all.”​—1 Thess. 5:14.

What did others say that hurt? Some of the replies were: “I’m sorry for you,” “She just wants attention” and “Don’t pity yourself; there are other people sicker than you are who don’t cry and complain.” Just imagine how these remarks made these persons feel! “There exists the one speaking thoughtlessly as with the stabs of a sword, but the tongue of the wise ones is a healing.” (Prov. 12:18) It is not that persons intended to hurt or ‘stab’ the depressives, but often they simply did not think before they spoke.

“The depressed person is already angry with himself, so don’t add to his guilt by constantly correcting what he does,” advises a psychologist who has worked with mentally disturbed individuals for over 20 years. “Rather than tell him, ‘Why don’t you just shake it off,’ perhaps you could say, ‘It seems to be a real problem for you, and I don’t fully understand it, but I would like to understand what you’re feeling. I would like to help.’ Be sincerely interested. A person can tell if you are not.”

Look for opportunities to give genuine praise. Be specific: “Look what a good job you did rearing your children,” “You have a real knack for making others comfortable,” and so forth. Help the person to restore his self-esteem. But above all else . . .

Be a Good Listener

Usually, a depressed person has much to say but often feels unworthy to express it. He may feel that nobody really is interested in hearing about his problems or feelings. Said one 27-year-old woman who suffered for several years with bouts of depression: “I needed someone to listen, not someone to lecture me and make me feel that I was being this way on purpose. My problems were real!”

This young woman, who wanted to die, added: “I had a couple of friends that I could really pour my heart out to. Even though I couldn’t fully understand my own feelings, this conversation really helped.” So let the depressed person “unload” his feelings. There is no need to judge everything he says. He may make some statements that seem extreme. Often, he really does not mean what he says. However, if you are a good listener and gain the person’s confidence, it may be that by gentle reasoning, step by step, you can correct his thinking.​—Matt. 7:1.

“Support the Weak”

“Friends help; others pity” is an old saying. Certainly genuine friends and family members whose circumstances allow will take steps to support those who are close to them and are depressed. Within the congregations of Jehovah’s Witnesses are spiritually qualified men who often have been of much help to depressed persons. Depressives are invited to seek their empathetic, loving aid. One sufferer confessed: “I was not too proud to call for help.”​—Jas. 5:14, 15.

Depending on circumstances, there are many things that persons can do. If the sufferer cannot sleep, stay up with him. If he will not eat, do not pressure him, but tempt him with small amounts of nutritious food, deliciously prepared. If he will not exercise, then take him out for a walk, or engage with him in some form of vigorous physical activity. Helping the sufferer in such ways may not be easy.

One bighearted woman has assisted several severe depressives. One of these whom she invited to live with her until she improved was having a hard time. Very warmly, Doreen said to this young woman: “Put your coat, hat and boots on.” But she responded: “I don’t want to go for a walk.” “I told her kindly, but firmly, ‘Yes, you’re going. Put them on,”’ explained Doreen. “She did. We walked for four miles. When we returned she was tired, but she felt better. Nobody believes how helpful strenuous exercise is until you make them do it. Then they see it.”

Support may also mean helping the seriously depressed person to find proper professional help. With major depression, one may need help from persons especially trained in dealing with the sickness. There is a variety of treatment currently available.

Other helpful acts reported by depressives were: “Don’t invite so many visitors over; prevent others from making unnecessary noise​—like loud music.” “Short visits of honest concern from others are nice.” “My family watched over me, calling me regularly on the phone, taking me out, even helping me to get dressed at times.”

Often it is simply being close at hand and showing love. One previously depressed woman related what got her through nine months of being “trapped in a terrible nightmare.” At one point she sobbed to her husband: “I can’t stand it anymore! I’m not getting better. I’m going down the drain!” He tenderly replied: “If you go down the drain, I’m going right down there with you!” Reflecting on this, the woman said: “Simply put​—he was always there for me.”

Yes, genuine support, coupled with consoling words, and a listening ear are the finest assistance others can give to “depressed souls.”

A Complete Solution​—Is It Possible?

“IMPOSSIBLE!” say some. “Why, to rid the earth of depression completely would call for sweeping changes. We’ve had depression for thousands of years and the future looks as if it will be here for a long time to come.”

Just think of a few conditions that contribute to depression​—an oppressive environment, friction in our relations with others, bad living conditions, inner weaknesses and guilts and sickness. To correct all of these seems hopeless.

Heartwarming Promises

The Bible promises that God will use his glorified Son, Jesus Christ, as a heavenly king to remove today’s depression-causing environment. Prophetically the Bible states: “Let him [God’s king] crush the defrauder. For he will deliver the poor one crying for help, also the afflicted one and whoever has no helper. He will feel sorry for the lowly one and the poor one, . . . From oppression and from violence he will redeem their soul.”​—Ps. 72:4, 12-14.

Gone forever will be a wicked system that has fostered harshness, insensitivity and oppression. Imagine the relief! But the Bible also promises relief from internal pressures. The effects of sin and imperfection will fade away. (Rom. 8:20-22; Rev. 21:3, 4) Disease and sickness​—including depression—​will vanish. Guilt and feelings of worthlessness will give way to self-esteem, as persons will then be able to measure up perfectly to God’s standards of how to live. Relations with other people will reflect perfect understanding and love.

Other promises of the Bible have already been accurately fulfilled. Current events are fulfilling Bible prophecies written nearly 2,000 years ago. (Matt. 24:3, 7-14; 2 Tim. 3:1-5) The practicalness of the Bible passages referred to earlier in this series of articles shows evidence of great wisdom. Does it not seem logical to you that they originated with a Source that really knows our makeup​—emotionally and physically—​namely, God?

Millions of persons in over 200 lands are convinced that all these promises of God will soon be realized. This hope sustains them even during severe depression. “Knowing that these problems will one day soon cease, and thinking of the wonderful conditions that will prevail in the ‘new earth,’ kept me going,” said one who had endured a long struggle with depression.​—2 Pet. 3:13.

This confidence, coupled with earnest effort to apply what the Bible says about our conduct, brings lasting happiness. Jehovah’s Witnesses are more than willing to help you to build such conviction. They will help you to get even closer to the God who is described as able “to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of those who are in pain.”​—Isa. 57:15, Lamsa.