Some questions we can ask ourselves are: Do I get upset over the habits or shortcomings of others? If so, is this because their habits are unscriptural? Or is it because my own background and training differ from theirs? (In this latter case, it may be that the problem lies more with us than with the other person.) Do I quickly get irritated when something derogatory is said about me, my race or my family? Or is it when I am counseled that I get hurt? If so, could it be that I think a little too highly of myself and am overly sensitive? Does a particular person irritate me? Do I (if an overseer or a parent) become frustrated when counsel is not followed?

Through such self-examination, we may learn to recognize our own particular weak spot. Then we are in a better position to ‘pummel our body’ and fight hard to control it.​—1 Cor. 9:27.

Take an Objective Look at the Other Person. When someone upsets us, we tend to see only his weaknesses. So it helps if we can see him as God sees him. Is he or she dedicated to God and loved by him? Overall, is the person showing a good “spirit,” perhaps falling short on just one or two points? If so, will it not help if we concentrate on his “righteous,” “chaste” and “lovable” qualities, thinking on such things?​—Phil. 4:8.

Really, would it be fair or proper to judge an individual on the basis of one or two “irritating” traits, as if we deliberately refuse to see any good at all in him? Why should we want to judge others, since our judgments too often will be influenced by our personal feelings of the moment? James put matters very frankly, asking: “Who are you to be judging your neighbor?”​—Jas. 4:12.

KEEP WORKING ON IT

By following these suggestions we are really working to solve our problem. We are not adopting a defeatist attitude and saying “I cannot help it.” The very act of working at the problem will reduce the likelihood of our losing control. It also keeps us conscious of the need to adjust our thinking, especially if we are constantly irritated by others’ failings.