Should We Confess?​—If So, to Whom?

CAN you truthfully say that you have never done wrong? No, we all err. How do you feel afterward?

The first reaction may be to hide or cover over an error. Is that not true? But then your conscience may bother you. (1 John 3:4; Rom. 2:14, 15) Have you not found that a desire to have a clear conscience and to be right with God urges you to confess the matter, obtain forgiveness and put it all behind? But should we confess, and, if so, to whom?

It is clear from the Bible that acknowledging or confessing one’s sins is important. When John the Baptist came preaching repentance for sins against the Law, many Jews “were baptized by him in the river Jordan, confessing their sins.” (Mark 1:4, 5, Common Bible) Also, Jesus urged his followers to pray, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”​—Matt. 6:12, CB.

Regarding sins against God, obviously we should admit our errors to him and seek his forgiveness. (Compare Psalm 32:3-5.) But what about when we wrong our fellowman? The Bible tells us to get the matter settled with the person whom we have wronged. Notice what Jesus told the Jews in the Sermon on the Mount: “if you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift [to God].” (Matt. 5:23, 24, CB) Following this advice would mean admitting to the other person the wrong and taking steps to be reconciled to him. This would include one’s family members.

What if a person committed adultery? Adultery is a sin in the sight of God. But it is also a sin against one’s marriage mate, for your mate has exclusive right to sexual relations with you. (Matt. 19:5, 6; 1 Cor. 6:16) So if a person committed adultery, how could he expect God’s forgiveness unless the sin was confessed to his mate?

Akin to this is the question of whether an engaged person should confess to a prospective mate immorality committed in the past. Many couples are willing to let the past remain a closed book. They see that even if years ago, perhaps before becoming a Christian, one of the two had committed immorality, that past act was not then a sin against the person who will now become a mate. Hence, Jesus’ counsel at Matthew 5:23, 24 does not require confession to the prospective mate. But, of course, some persons in this situation may want to “clear the slate,” so to speak, and avoid any possibility of its coming to light later with possibly damaging consequences. And, whether now or later, if a Christian were asked about the past and were obliged to answer he could not lie to keep it secret.​—Col. 3:9.

The Bible, though, does urge: “Confess your sins to one another.” (Jas. 5:16, CB) What does that mean? Note the context.

James wrote that if one were spiritually sick, as committing serious sins would indicate, “let him call the elders of the church, and let them pray over him.” (The Corinthian man should have done that instead of unrepentantly continuing to practice the sin.) God does not authorize the elders themselves to forgive sins; that is something He does. (1 John 1:9) But when one has confessed to God, not “covering over” his sins, the spiritually qualified elders can pray with him as well as counsel and help him.​—Prov. 28:13; Gal. 6:1.

What can result from such confession? James adds: “The Lord will raise him up; and if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.”​—Jas. 5:14, 15, CB.