AVOIDING PAINFUL PROBLEMS

Respect, even deep respect, for each other is one of the main pillars of a happy marriage. (Eph. 5:33; 1 Pet. 3:7) But how can an engaged couple build up real respect for each other if they see and know that both of them have become involved in greedy, immoral conduct? Does this inspire confidence? No, for much jealousy in marriage is brought about through negative experiences with each other before entering wedlock. Cannot a downhearted wife say years later: “You only wanted a woman, not just me”? And how can her husband then prove the contrary to be true? He cannot. Well, how can a man, before his marriage to a particular woman, prove that he really is in love with her? By respecting her chastity. He thus displays his unselfish love for his future wife. He also shows that he is as good as his word. Perhaps he had promised the girl’s father that he would not touch her in an unclean manner. How shameful it would be if he now had to confess that he has made the man’s daughter pregnant! Would that be a fine start for a marriage?

Painful problems may be avoided by parents, as well as by engaged couples, by giving prayerful attention to this matter. This is of great importance in the present morally decadent world. Moral standards as established by God have never had to withstand so many attacks as they have encountered in our day. The Bible really has to be a Christian’s daily guide as to friendships, engagement and marriage. Why? The Scriptures answer: “That you no longer go on walking just as the nations also walk in the unprofitableness of their minds, while they are in darkness mentally, and alienated from the life that belongs to God.” Many persons have “come to be past all moral sense,” and they have given themselves “over to loose conduct to work uncleanness of every sort with greediness.” But the apostle Paul urged fellow believers to “put away the old personality which conforms to your former course of conduct,” putting on “the new personality which was created according to God’s will in true righteousness and loyalty.” (Eph. 4:17-24) Yes, do that and you may avoid the pain and calamity that are sure to befall those who continue to ignore God’s righteous standards.

A girl who is too eager to get married is in danger of allowing her boyfriend too many liberties with her. Afraid of losing this friend, she may try to tie him to her with unclean courting. But, girls, please ask yourselves: ‘With what do I tie him?’ Think. Does he have genuine interest in your personality and in your mental qualities and noble sentiments? Or, rather, will he not leave you if you do not continue to share with him in sexual activities? How long can women yielding to immoral advances attract their partners? No longer than a woman of easy virtue can catch the eye and arouse the passions of her irresponsible “friends.” Who is then left deeply injured? In the same way, can a young man who makes immoral advances to his girl friend expect to be respected by her in later life?

The Scriptures indicate that “God will judge fornicators and adulterers” adversely. (Heb. 13:4) What could hurt more than that? Remember, too, that one act of immorality may ruin a whole career of a once happy servant of God. And this cannot be rectified by a hurried marriage. Like scratches on a phonograph record that spoil the full enjoyment of music, so the full peace and happiness of the marriage itself can be disturbed by past negative sexual experiences.