Is Real Happiness an Impossible Dream?

EVERY normal person wants to be happy. But how many of your waking hours are filled with real happiness? Could you honestly say that you find your life a delight?

For most people, the answers to such questions would indicate a disappointing level of happiness. In modern times especially, it does appear that for many persons periods of genuine happiness do not come as often as they once did. The faces of workers, travelers, shoppers and others more often reflect worry, sadness or apathy; not happiness.

Too, the pace of life in our generation is faster than ever before, and the pressures of daily living are greater. People find that time quickly slips by as they try to get things done. Often, when they look back after many years, they are dismayed to find that in the rush of things they have misplaced real happiness.

One observer wrote: “Happiness is the rarest, most prized and most misunderstood state of man.” Yet, it is relatively easy to define. A dictionary says that being happy is ‘characterized by or indicative of pleasure, contentment, or gladness.’

True, happiness is easy to define in a book. But having it as a regular part of life, now and in the future, often seems like an impossible dream.

Is Money or Fame the Way?

Many spend their lives pursuing money or fame. They feel that such may be the way to happiness. But is that the case?

Of course, poverty rarely makes anyone happy. Almost everybody feels that he would be happier if he were rich rather than poor. Yet the facts show that, while poverty does not bring happiness, wealth does not bring it either. Thus, the writer of a Bible proverb wisely requested: “Give me neither poverty nor riches.”​—Prov. 30:8.

One of the world’s wealthiest men, a reputed billionaire, said that despite his great wealth he was not happy. Indeed, he died after a long period of abusing his health, neglecting even his physical appearance, for many years shutting himself off from all but a few servants.

Another billionaire had a series of unhappy marriages in his life. When asked what gave him the most happiness, in view of his great wealth, he thought a while and answered: “A walk along a good beach, and then a swim.” That is something the poorest person can often do free of charge!

A successful actress and writer said: “As for success, in many cases it simply isn’t worth the high price of admission.” There were too many heartaches in achieving and maintaining this so-called “success.”

This was echoed by the suicide of a television comedian who, at the age of only twenty-two, had both fame and fortune. The producer of his television show stated that the young actor had “invested everything in his search for happiness.” But he did not find it. Instead, he had grown increasingly sad. This sadness revolved around his question: “Where do I fit in? Where is my happiness?” When the producer told the actor: “Your happiness is right here; you’re a star,” the actor replied, “No, that’s not happiness for me any more.” Later, he took his own life.

The problems attached to accumulating wealth show the truth of the Bible statement: “Those who are determined to be rich fall into temptation and a snare and many senseless and hurtful desires, which plunge men into destruction and ruin. For the love of money is a root of all sorts of injurious things.” That search for wealth, God’s Word says, results in a person’s often being ‘stabbed with many pains.’​—1 Tim. 6:9, 10.

Affluence No Answer

It was once thought that by raising the standard of living of a country, the people would be much happier. Yet today the greater number of persons with mental problems is in the more affluent countries.

For example, a headline in U.S. News & World Report noted: “Pursuit of Happiness​—Elusive Goal in Affluent America.” The accompanying article said, in part: “In an era of rising affluence and leisure time, Americans are finding happiness more elusive than ever before. . . . for many Americans, the best of times is beginning to seem the worst of times.”

An estimated ten million people in the United States need treatment for mental depression. And the number of children under psychiatric care has risen frighteningly in recent years.

Thus, the frenzied search for “happiness” through material wealth and fame, or through excesses in recreation, alcoholic beverages, drugs or immoral practices, has certainly not produced happiness. Instead, it has produced more and more unhappiness.

Even many of the inventions of this century, once so widely hailed, have come to be causers of unhappiness to many. For instance, automobiles have brought a measure of joy, but they have also resulted in gigantic traffic congestion, frustration and pollution. Too, all over the world automobiles kill tens of thousands of people and injure millions each year, causing untold sadness.

Television, which could have been an important avenue of education and enlightenment, has not proved to be edifying. A recent study shows that in the average American home television is viewed for six hours and eighteen minutes each day! The study found that programs featuring hatred, brutality, violence and immorality filled much of that viewing time.

There is deep concern about the bad effect of all of this on people, especially on young persons. A University of Washington child psychologist estimates that the average American child has seen 18,000 murders on television by the time he graduates from high school! That certainly will not help to build a spirit of happiness in young minds.

Well, then, can real happiness be expected in a world where millions are killed each generation by wars, murders and accidents, where crime soars, where racial and national hatreds persist and where sickness, old age and death come to all? Is happiness a realistic possibility now, or will it ever be in the future?

Strange as it may seem in today’s troubled world, the answer to these questions is, Yes. A measure of genuine happiness is possible even now, and total happiness can be a reality in the future. But how? Where? Under what conditions?

How Can Genuine Happiness Be Found?

WHAT ARE THE KEY INGREDIENTS FOR HAPPINESS NOW?

A GOOD measure of genuine happiness can be found now, and much greater happiness in the near future is a certainty.

This is not wishful thinking. It is based on what is actually the case today in the lives of many hundreds of thousands of people throughout the world, and also on what the future definitely holds for mankind.

What are the key ingredients for happiness now? The answers can vary a great deal, depending on who is making the observation. For instance, some feel that there is no evil, and thus they imagine that they can find joy in almost everything. But that is self-delusion, as there are many things in this world that are very bad.

Some go to the other extreme. They find hardly any good in anything or anybody; hence, there is no cause for happiness. They have much the same outlook as did the ancient Greek poet Sophocles, who said: “Count no man happy who is not dead.”

But those views are extremes. Somewhere in between there is a balanced view of what leads to happiness. And, generally, most authorities agree on several basic ingredients that are greatly needed.

Yet, at the same time, almost all such observers ignore the most important ingredient for happiness! And when this is ignored, the other parts begin to fail in time.

First, let us note some basic factors that can make for a happier life even now in this troubled world. Then let us identify the one ingredient more important than any other, and see how it relates to much greater happiness in the future.

Appreciating What We Have

Certainly, much that is bad confronts us in our daily lives. But, on the other hand, there are things for which we can be thankful, things that can bring us some happiness if we would only take the time to reflect on them.

One simple way that we might better appreciate that we can enjoy some measure of happiness now is to consider alternatives. Almost all of us can think of some tragedy that would lessen the happiness we have at this moment. That being so, it means that we do have a measure of happiness now, without such tragedies having happened. So, while we may not feel very happy about our condition in life, it helps us to realize that we are usually better off than we have imagined.

Appreciating what we have surely would include appreciating life itself. While you may have many problems that can be depressing, you still would rather be alive than dead, would you not? Only mentally unbalanced persons commit suicide. Yes, life is “sweet,” and we cling to it as long as we can.

The alternative to life is death, in which there is no enjoyment whatsoever. As the Bible says: “As for the dead, they are conscious of nothing at all.” (Eccl. 9:5) That is why the preceding verse observes: “A live dog is better off than a dead lion.” (Eccl. 9:4) Being alive, and human, is far superior to being a rock, or a tree, or an animal​—or dead. We can be happy that we are alive as humans, if we but take the time to reflect on it.

Too, with the right viewpoint, many of the simple things of life can give us added happiness. A pleasant sunny day is a delight. So is the natural creation, such as the trees, flowers, animals, mountains, rivers and lakes. Even in a crowded city, there are nice days that we can enjoy and pleasant areas that can be a source of refreshment.

Are you able to see? Some people cannot, being blind. Ask a blind person if he would be happy to get his sight back! Or shut your eyes for a while and try to carry on your daily functions. You will better appreciate how precious a gift your sight is.

The same is true with the senses of taste and smell. You may have eaten a certain favorite meal hundreds of times in your life, but when you smell it being prepared again, you are happy.

Yes, we are so constructed that we never tire of the really good things in life. If we would ‘count our blessings,’ we would appreciate them more and be happier.

Enjoying Work

Happiness requires activity. We are more content with life if we have something useful to do. Work is actually a blessing for us.

While it may seem desirable not to have to work at all, that is not really the case. If everything were somehow miraculously done for us, life would become incredibly boring. The reason is that we were made to thrive on a proper amount of activity.

While the work you do may seem uninteresting or unimportant, does it not make a contribution to your existence​—helping to pay your bills? Then it is important to you. And it is important to society in general, for if all the seemingly routine or “dull” jobs were eliminated, how long would society continue to function?

True, your work may not be as desirable as someone else’s. But it almost always makes some contribution, not only to your welfare, but to that of others also. If you look at it that way, you can feel some satisfaction in trying to do your job well. As the monthly letter of the Royal Bank of Canada puts it:

“The worker who can do the little things well for which he is responsible contributes to the success of the biggest enterprise, and the man who devotes himself to his task with zeal and determination, using his best ability, will have a sense of achievement, which is an ingredient of happiness.”

A More Vital Ingredient

One of the more vital ingredients of happiness has to do with our relationship with others. We cannot truly be happy without the friendship, affection, warmth and understanding​—yes, the love—​that comes from people.

True, in some places, such as crowded cities, one might at times wish that all the people would disappear. But who would really want to be completely alone? While that may sound appealing for a little while, the fact is that we cannot find genuine happiness without other people, even if we are disappointed or angered by them at times. No man in solitary confinement for any length of time was made happy thereby.

But it is not merely having others around us that brings happiness. What really matters is our showing love, a vital ingredient needed for happiness. And the kind of love, the kind that will bring the best results, is a love based on right principles, as well as being warm and affectionate.

“Love: The Most Important Ingredient in Happiness,” declared a headline in Psychology Today. And it reported this comment by psychologist Robert M. Gordon:

“Love is by far the most important resource in people’s lives. It plays the biggest role in forming values that guide life choices and lifestyles. Someone who experiences a shortage of love in childhood is unhappy then, and also develops values that perpetuate the unhappiness in later life.”

Often, when love is missing and its resulting happiness is absent, money or material goods are substituted. But such things can never be adequate substitutes for the happiness that comes from human relationships where love is shown.

Does this mean that if we lacked love in childhood, we can never be truly happy? No, because love can be cultivated, developed, at any age. Why is this so? Because we were made to love and to respond to love as an inherent part of human sociability. God created us with this capacity. And love can be rekindled regardless of earlier disappointing experiences in life.

Yes, we are born to want love and to respond to the love of others. Maclean’s magazine of Canada notes:

“The responsive smiles of babies, the first entrancing show of happiness, have been studied by many scientists, . . .

“They found a universal human pattern: until the age of six months, babies of every race will smile at any friendly adult almost invariably.

“Mankind shows this instinctive sociability in the fact that babies infrequently smile at toys or feeding bottles, but almost always smile at people.”

The “Golden Rule”

What others do affects our happiness. And what we do affects the happiness of others. We simply cannot escape the fact that our happiness is intertwined with the lives of many other people, our families, our friends and others.

To the extent that it is within our power, we should do nothing in the pursuit of our own pleasure that will damage the happiness of others. This principle is called the “Golden Rule,” which is contained in the Bible. It was Jesus Christ who said: “All things, therefore, that you want men to do to you, you also must likewise do to them.”​—Matt. 7:12.

When you treat others like that, with love, kindness, honesty and impartiality, what will happen? Just like the baby who responds to your smile, so other people will respond to your good treatment of them. True, not all of them will. But most of them will react favorably toward you.

This will add to your happiness, for as Jesus said: “There is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving.’’ (Acts 20:35) An illustration of this is the grandmother whose husband had died. She wrote:

“Now that [my husband] is gone, I am giving to my children and grandchildren . . . which gives them much pleasure. But to be perfectly honest, when I give to them, my pleasure is far greater than theirs.”

If she had not “given” to others she would have denied them some happiness, and would also have denied herself a good measure of it. She discovered the truth of what English philosopher John Stuart Mill observed when he said that the only really happy people are those “who have their minds fixed on some object other than their own happiness; on the happiness of others.”

Fine Results

When the right kind of love is shown between people, all the barriers that divide them can be broken down. Jehovah’s Witnesses in all nations know that this is so because they have observed the fine results of impartially showing love toward others. They put forth the effort to practice the “Golden Rule,” to practice “giving.”

That is why, on a worldwide scale, they have progressed further than any other people in overcoming the divisive barriers of nationalism and racism. For instance, after a group of over a hundred Witnesses from Nigeria traveled to an assembly of Jehovah’s Witnesses in Pennsylvania, U.S.A., a spokesman for the Africans said:

“The wonderful part of such a visit is to see firsthand how Jehovah’s people live like one large, happy family and fulfill Jesus’ words at John 13:35 when he said, ‘By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love among yourselves.’”

Similarly, two new attenders at meetings of Jehovah’s Witnesses observed: “The thing that impressed us the most was the loving concern of the Witnesses for one another. The thing we value most at present is this loving association.” A newly associated person in New Mexico wrote: “I attended a few meetings and was impressed with the love and kindness the congregation showed me.” When another man who changed his former undesirable way of life for the better way was asked what helped him to do so, he replied: “Someone showed love to me. Someone was interested in me.”

It was Jesus who said: “You must love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matt. 22:39) And showing neighbor love includes being cooperative, as well as respecting the rights and property of others. When that is done, good things often result. For instance, after a recent assembly of Jehovah’s Witnesses in Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada, the supervisor in charge of the arena wrote to the Witnesses:

“In my twenty or more years around this arena, never before have I been required to write such a letter as this one. This is the first time, and likely my last, that I have ever written to a tenant to sincerely thank him for such excellent cooperation as has been offered to the arena staff during this event.

“Your brothers and sisters involved in the administration and general duties pertaining to this convention have, without exception, been most helpful, and have made this event one of the most enjoyable duties we have been required to handle since coming into the arena management business.

“Thank you for coming to our arena. We hope we are still on duty when you return.”

Also, when Jesus said to “love your neighbor as yourself,” this surely included the closest neighbors we have. These would be members of our immediate family. Since the family was created by God, it is only reasonable that happiness could be found in it.

Here, too, when we apply the “Golden Rule,” and practice unselfish giving of ourselves to others in the family, there are fine results. Many a family on the verge of breaking up has been greatly strengthened and made happier by doing what Jesus said. And the more these fine principles of behavior are applied, the happier the family will be. Ignoring them can bring damage that may not be repaired.

Too, there are many simple pleasures in family life that can be sources of happiness if we would only think about them. One example is related by Maclean’s magazine:

“Historian Will Durant tells of looking for happiness in knowledge and finding disillusionment. He looked for happiness in travel and found weariness, in wealth and found discord and worriment. He sought happiness in writing and was fatigued.

“One day he saw a woman waiting in a tiny car with a sleeping child in her arms. A man descended from a train and came over and gently kissed the woman and then the baby, very lightly so as not to waken him. The family drove off together across the fields and left Durant with a stunning recognition of real happiness.

“He later wrote: ‘Every normal function of life holds some delight.’”

Yes, appreciating the good things that we do have, and showing the right kind of love at all levels of human relationship, works wonders for improving happiness. This is so even in a world that is filled with trouble.

However, there is something even more important than these ingredients. There is something so important that without it in our lives, we cannot be truly happy. What is this most crucial ingredient of happiness? The following article will tell us.

The Most Vital Factor in Happiness

MATERIAL things can be the source of some happiness. Even more important as a source of happiness (as pointed out in the previous article) is the genuine love people can show for one another. However, there is something more important than all other things as a source of happiness for humans.

When Jesus said to “love your neighbor as yourself,” he said that this was the second greatest commandment that people should observe. (Matt. 22:39) What, then, was the first, and most important?

Jesus said: “You must love Jehovah your God with your whole heart and with your whole soul and with your whole mind.” (Matt. 22:37, 38) The greatest happiness now, and in the future, will come to people only if they do this.

Why So?

Why is this the case? Because Jehovah God is the Creator of humans. He formed the body and the mind. Hence, he knows far, far better than people do what will work best for their happiness.

While psychologists and philosophers experiment and speculate about which principles and rules for human behavior will work best, Jehovah God does not have to. He knows which ones are the best, since he originated them. Therefore, when we pay attention to what he says, we are getting the very best advice available to humans on what will make us happy.

The more we cooperate with God’s laws and principles, the happier we will become. To illustrate: What would happen if everybody who drove an automobile could make up his own traffic rules? You can picture the chaos that would result. At any busy intersection, you would take your life in your hands driving through, or especially when crossing as a pedestrian. There simply must be some higher authority to set reasonable rules for driving, from which we all benefit.

Similarly, Jehovah God, the Creator, has established the best rules and principles of behavior for humans. They really work. They are practical and get the best results. If we ignore them we ask for trouble, just as surely as would drivers if they should abandon the rules of driving. Indeed, a fundamental reason why there is so much trouble on earth is that people want to make up their own rules.

Happier People

The Bible calls the Creator “the happy God.” (1 Tim. 1:11) It follows, then, that those who do God’s will, abiding by his instructions for human behavior, can reflect this happiness or have a measure of it.

That is why the psalmist wrote: “O Jehovah of armies, happy is the man that is trusting in you.” And it is said: “Happy are the ones faultless in their way, the ones walking in the law of Jehovah. Happy are those observing his reminders.” Yes, “happy is the people whose God is Jehovah!”​—Ps. 84:12; 119:1, 2; 144:15.

True, obeying God will not change the unhappy system of things that we live in at present. But it will certainly change for the better the lives of those who do want to be happier and who do look to their Creator as the Source of that happiness. And when they look to him, he responds by blessing them and helping them with his powerful active force, his holy spirit. No greater power for happiness exists in the entire universe.

No Troubles?

This does not mean that those who do God’s will are unaffected by the troubles in the world. Certainly they are affected. They have their share of problems and sorrows. And they get sick and die as others do. But at the same time, they are happier than they would be if they did not look to God as the Source of happiness.

Also, those who serve God appreciate that their happiness at this present time is relative. That is to say, it is greater than can be achieved in any other way; yet it is not complete, perfect. Happiness cannot be perfect now.

Why not? Because all of us are born in sin, in imperfection, as the Bible shows. (Rom. 5:12) Thus, we all make mistakes, we are prone to periods of depression and unhappiness, and we are also prone to sickness and death, which mar happiness. Too, we all live in this trouble-filled, wicked system of things. As long as it lasts, even God’s servants will not be able to achieve perfect happiness.

At the same time, they find great comfort and happiness in their knowledge of God and in understanding his purpose for mankind in the near future. This helps them to keep balanced in an unbalanced world so that they do not sorrow as others do. This is the case even when a loved one dies, for, as the Bible says, those knowing God do “not sorrow just as the rest also do who have no hope.”​—1 Thess. 4:13.

Knowing God’s marvelous purpose for this earth and for mankind, his servants are not unduly distressed by the world’s troubles or by the bad people in it. So they do not retreat into a hard “shell” as many others do. (Matt. 24:12) They keep on doing the right thing, even if others do not respond or if they respond in a negative way.

The Example of Jesus

That is what Jesus did. Recall what happened when he raised the man named Lazarus from the dead. The Bible record shows that many people responded favorably to this. But not all did.

In fact, some were so perverse, the Bible says, that “from that day on they took counsel to kill” Jesus. Imagine that! How corrupt they were to respond so wickedly to such a miraculous good deed, especially when we consider that they were the religious clergy of that day! So perverse were they that these clergymen even “took counsel to kill Lazarus also”!​—John 11:45, 53; 12:10, 11.

Yet Jesus did not stop putting into practice the two great commandments​—those of loving God and of loving one’s neighbor. He knew that the greatest happiness and benefits come from doing God’s will regardless of how others act. That is why he could maintain his self-control and continue his kind and loving ways. As the Bible says: “When he was being reviled, he did not go reviling in return. When he was suffering, he did not go threatening, but kept on committing himself to the one who judges righteously.”​—1 Pet. 2:23.

Jesus knew that it would damage one’s happiness to be unduly upset about this world and its badness when there was no possibility of any human correcting its troubles. He knew, as did his heavenly Father, that this system of things actually would go from bad to worse until the day came when God would put it to an end.

Perfect Happiness​—When?

Thus, those who show principled love for others and who show whole-souled love for God know that all the troubles of this life are temporary. Soon, this entire trouble-filled system with its sorrows will be crushed out of existence.

What does this mean for honest-hearted persons who want to do what is right? It means that the time is nearing when a new order of God’s making will be permanently established right here on earth. Then, at that time, perfect happiness will become a reality.

Bible prophecies make it very clear that the time for God to put an end to sorrow and trouble is nearing. Without fail God will replace this corrupt, worn-out old system of things with his new order of righteousness under the rule of his heavenly kingdom. That is the rulership, or government from heaven, that Jesus taught others about. (Matt. 6:9, 10) Its rule will be world wide, being the only government for all mankind. All other kingdoms will have been crushed out of existence. (Dan. 2:44) Under that kingdom, the kind of happiness that one can only partially imagine today will be a daily reality then, right here on this earth.

In that new order God’s promise is that “he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.” (Rev. 21:4) Even sickness and old age will be things of the past, for people living then will become physically and mentally perfect, as God purposed when he created the first man and woman. This will enable people to live forever, and on a restored paradise earth at that.​—Luke 23:43.

What a delightful time that will be! Think of it​—all sickness, sorrow, trouble and death will be eliminated once and for all time under God’s righteous rule! Why, even the graves will be emptied of the dead! These persons will be restored to life and to their loved ones, because “there is going to be a resurrection of both the righteous and the unrighteous.”​—Acts 24:15.

Finally, there will be no unprincipled people to mar that happiness. “The upright are the ones that will reside in the earth, and the blameless are the ones that will be left over in it. As regards the wicked, they will be cut off from the very earth; and as for the treacherous, they will be torn away from it.”​—Prov. 2:21, 22.

Yes, you can find greater happiness today, in spite of life’s problems. And you can find perfect happiness in the future. So, true happiness is not an impossible dream.

But to achieve it, you must learn to trust and serve the only Source of genuine happiness, the Creator, Jehovah God. Then you can look forward to the deeply satisfying and thrilling time foretold in God’s prophetic Word, which promises: “The meek ones themselves will possess the earth, and they will indeed find their exquisite delight in the abundance of peace.”​—Ps. 37:11.