54. What does the exercise of headship require?

⁵⁴ The Scriptures show that the husband is the head of his wife. But he is not an absolute head, for he is required to submit to the headship of Jesus Christ in handling family affairs. “The head of every man is the Christ,” the Bible tells us. (1 Corinthians 11:3) “Husbands,” wrote the apostle Paul, “continue loving your wives, just as the Christ also loved the congregation and delivered up himself for it.” (Ephesians 5:25) Thus, the way in which the Son of God treats the Christian congregation serves as a model for husbands in discharging their family obligations. There certainly is nothing tyrannical or cruel about Jesus Christ’s exercise of headship over the congregation. He even gave up his life for it. Therefore, a husband’s headship does not entitle him to dominate his wife, putting her in a low, degraded position. Instead, it places on him the responsibility of being self-sacrificing in his love, being willing to put his wife’s welfare and interests ahead of his personal desires and preferences.

55. Since Jesus Christ is the example, what should Christian husbands do?

⁵⁵ Since Jesus Christ is the perfect example for them, husbands do well to acquaint themselves with what he did in dealing with his disciples. More importantly, husbands should strive to conform to the pattern of the Son of God in discharging their family responsibilities. Consider just a few of the many things that Jesus Christ did while on earth in caring for his disciples.

56, 57. (a) How did the Son of God show genuine interest in the spiritual welfare of his disciples? (b) In view of Jesus’ example, what might a husband ask himself?

⁵⁶ The Son of God was genuinely interested in the spiritual welfare of his followers. Even when they were slow to grasp vital matters, he did not become impatient with them. He took time to make things clear for them and saw to it that they really understood his teaching. (Matthew 16:6-12; John 16:16-30) When they continued to have a problem in having an appreciative view of their relationship to one another, Jesus repeated points on the need for humbly ministering to others. (Mark 9:33-37; 10:42-44; Luke 22:24-27) On his final night with them he fortified his teaching on humility by washing their feet, thus setting the example for them. (John 13:5-15) Jesus also took into consideration the limitations of his disciples and did not give them more information than they could comprehend at the time.​—John 16:4, 12.

⁵⁷ A Christian husband might, therefore, ask himself: ‘How concerned am I about the spiritual welfare of my wife and children? Do I make sure that they really understand Bible principles? When noting wrong attitudes and actions, do I make it clear just why such are wrong and why changes should be made? Do I take into consideration their limitations and watch that I do not require too much?’

58. How might a husband imitate Jesus’ example in considering the physical needs of his family?

⁵⁸ The Son of God was also alert to take note of what his disciples needed from a physical standpoint. When the apostles returned to Jesus from a preaching tour and made report of their activity, he said: “Come, you yourselves, privately into a lonely place and rest up a bit.” (Mark 6:31) Similarly, a husband wisely sees to it that his wife and children have time for relaxation and refreshment from the regular routine of life.

59, 60. (a) How has Jesus Christ shown confidence and trust in his disciples? (b) How can this help a husband in exercising headship?

⁵⁹ In exercising headship, Jesus Christ does not hem in the members of the congregation by a list of involved regulations. He gave them the really important commands and guidelines as a basis for their reaching proper decisions in handling the problems of life. His self-sacrificing love, coupled with his confidence and trust in the disciples, in effect, “compels” them to respond with like love, doing their utmost to please him.​—2 Corinthians 5:14, 15; compare 1 Timothy 1:12; 1 John 5:2, 3.

⁶⁰ In a similar way, a husband’s showing confidence in his wife can do much to preserve a happy marriage. A wife who has little latitude to use initiative in caring for her responsibilities will soon lose joy in her work. She will feel stifled in using her knowledge, talents and abilities, resulting in frustration. On the other hand, when her husband entrusts certain important matters to her good judgment, she will have pleasure in handling things in a way that will delight her husband.

64. When would a husband not give in to his wife, and why is this beneficial?

⁶⁴ Of course, as head of the family, when a husband is thoroughly satisfied in his own mind that the interests of the family as a whole would be injured thereby, he would not give in to his wife’s desires. (Compare Numbers 30:6-8.) He recognizes that he is Scripturally obligated to uphold what he honestly believes is right, despite any emotional displays by his wife. For the husband to comply with his wife’s wishes against his better judgment would mean dishonoring God, who has entrusted the man with the position of family head. And if matters thereafter led to hardships for the family, this could embitter him toward his wife. On the other hand, his remaining firm for what he definitely believes to be the right course will benefit the family. If his decision is made prayerfully and in harmony with Scriptural principles, his wife may well come to see the wisdom of the decision made and be glad that her husband remained firm. This should enhance her respect for him and contribute to her happiness and that of the whole family.