Because a husband who views ‘loving his wife’ as a God-given responsibility will be more inclined to talk to her and listen to her.

But what happens if a couple allows such problems to dominate in their marriage? Says the Bible: “A brother who is transgressed against is more than a strong town; and there are contentions that are like the bar of a dwelling tower.” (Proverbs 18:19) Communication may be cut off, with serious consequences for both the couple and their children. Indeed, experts say “persistent parental discord” is one of the most destructive influences on a child.

Applying the Bible’s counsel, however, can minimize such conflicts. Husbands are commanded not to “be bitterly angry with” their wives. (Colossians 3:19) And it takes two to quarrel. If your mate gets upset and angry, why not try to remain calm and tactful? Agree and sympathize if possible. As the Bible says: “An answer, when mild, turns away rage.” (Proverbs 15:1) Sharp retorts will only aggravate the situation. Better it is to ask in a kind way: “Did I upset you? What’s wrong, dear?” Lovingly and tactfully drawing out the cause of the trouble in this way will often help to solve it. On the other hand, it might be a matter of frankly, but kindly, telling your mate that you are irritated or upset by his or her actions. The Bible says: “Let the sun not set with you in a provoked state. But become kind to one another, tenderly compassionate, freely forgiving one another.”​—Ephesians 4:26, 32.

One young husband learned to apply this counsel. He says: “My wife is very emotional. So it’s sometimes hard for her to have a calm discussion without getting really uptight. But I’ve tried to adjust to her personality and to be more sensitive to her feelings.” Such conscientious effort not only helps keep peace but endears you to your mate!