WHAT is the best way for men to deal with women? How, especially, should a husband treat his wife for the greatest benefit to both?

The answer to such questions can come only from the one who is the best qualified. Who is that? It has to be the One who designed and made the minds and bodies of men and women. Surely the Creator, Jehovah God, knows best how his own creation should operate for the best results.

Under Christianity, the role of man as ‘captain’ of the family was maintained. It was the best arrangement, considering how God made man and woman. So, as Ephesians 5:23 says, “A husband is head of his wife as the Christ also is head of the congregation.” And if there were no head in a family, what would happen? There could be constant bickering and disagreement over decisions, with no one making the final one. But it is necessary for the welfare of the family to have someone authorized to make final decisions, and God has assigned that role to the husband.

For instance, if a man is driving an automobile, and sees a difficult traffic situation developing that calls for an immediate response in direction or speed, it would only make matters worse for his wife to insist that she had a view on the matter and he should do it her way. Someone has to make final decisions, and when the husband does so in a loving and considerate way, it really does work for the best of the family.

What Kind of Headship?

But just what does the husband’s headship mean? As noted, it means that in the family he has the right to make final decisions, especially in serious matters. But how should he exercise that headship? Does it entitle him to be a boss, a dictator?

That is not at all what God has in mind, for Ephesians 5:28, 29 declares: “Husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no man ever hated his own flesh.” The husband is under obligation to be as considerate of his wife as he is of himself, since they are “one flesh.”

But much more is involved. God also commands husbands to do this: “You husbands, continue dwelling in like manner with [your wives] according to knowledge, assigning them honor as to a weaker vessel, the feminine one.”​—1 Pet. 3:7.

How do you honor another person? Why, you treat that person with respect. You have consideration for that one’s opinions, likes and dislikes. You give that one the preference when there is no issue at stake. You do what Colossians 3:12, 13 says: “Clothe yourselves with the tender affections of compassion, kindness, lowliness of mind, mildness, and long-suffering. Continue putting up with one another and forgiving one another freely.”

These are the qualities that make it easy for women to love and to respect their husbands. In fact, one happily married woman, when asked what she appreciated most about her husband, replied: ‘The tenderness and consideration that he has for me.’ And that is just what God says husbands should show their wives.

Also, while at first the mother’s role in a child’s life is critical, in time the father’s grows more important. That is why God’s law tells fathers to take the lead in training their growing children in the vital things of life, such as morality, religion and discipline. While the mother also plays an important part in all this, it is the father who is to take the lead.​—Eph. 6:4.

Part of taking the lead is in setting a good example, ‘practicing what you preach.’ And here one of the finest things a father can do for his children is to love their mother. What a fine example that sets for the future mothers and fathers!

There is more. Ephesians 5:25 says: “Husbands, continue loving your wives, just as the Christ also loved the congregation and delivered up himself for it.” Yes, the husband is to have such consideration for his wife that he would be willing to lay down his life for her! That is what Jesus did for those he loved.

Now, then, what sensible woman would want liberation from a man who shows her that kind of honor, respect, consideration, tenderness and loyalty?