Still, you can seek the help of the elders. Of course, they are not trying to inject themselves into your marriage. But if your husband, perhaps in the interest of improving home conditions and enjoying life more himself, is agreeable to speak with them, the elders might be able to aid both of you.

Using reason and the Scriptures, they could tactfully consider why calmness and patience are so valuable and why heated anger causes so much unhappiness to all involved. (Prov. 14:17, 29; 22:24, 25) They could describe Christ’s pattern for husbands; it was one of loving concern, which obviously rules out wrathful abuse of one’s wife. (Eph. 5:25-33) A husband who follows this pattern will make life more pleasant for both himself and his wife. Also, the elders might be able to help both of you to examine yourselves to see where you can improve. Does perhaps your husband’s use of alcohol give rise to the violent abuse? (Prov. 23:29, 30)

Some of these aspects were involved in the case of a woman in Wisconsin. A number of years after they were married, her husband began drinking heavily on weekends when he was not working as a lumberjack. Influenced by alcohol, he would often become enraged and violent. About that time she became one of Jehovah’s witnesses and tried to be an exceptionally good wife, not argumentative or demanding. Still, many Fridays when she and the children returned from Christian meetings he slapped her, kicked her and punched her arms. At such times she was forced to flee the house. She and the children spent many nights in the barn’s haymow, keeping the entrances barricaded with bales of hay until her husband was sober again.

“Why have you stayed with him?” the children asked. She said it was because she loved them and did not want to leave them, also because their father was providing for the family, which she could not do. Never did she tell them that she did not love their father, but explained that knowing the Bible’s truth enabled her to endure and to be a happy Christian. The abuse continued for more than twenty years. Now she has the joy of seeing ten of her eleven children serving Jehovah, and her husband has quit drinking, has improved in controlling his temper and accompanies her to Christian meetings. True, such may not be the outcome in all cases. But this account illustrates aspects that you can consider in evaluating your situation.