Additionally, chaste youths are not plagued by a guilty conscience.

Focusing on sexual satisfaction can lead to serious problems.

For instance, after two painful breakups, Ann admitted: “I learned from experience that at times you can get too close physically too soon.” Thus, when she and her future husband began to date, they were very careful to avoid becoming too intimate physically. You see, under the enrapturing influence of sexual intimacies, a couple may gloss over serious differences that resurface after marriage.

Those who are chaste can avoid such deception. Explains Ann, who has now been happily married for four years: “While courting, we spent our time working out problems and discussing our goals in life. I got to know what type of person I was marrying. After marriage, there were only pleasant surprises. Most couples really don’t have that much time to spend together while courting. So, if they’re constantly romancing and kissing, they can’t talk about serious matters or work out differences.”

According to extensive research by sociologist Seymour Fisher, the factors helping a woman to respond sexually are not physical but include how she feels about her husband. The vital factors are her having “feelings of intimacy, closeness, and dependability,” the husband’s “ability to identify with his wife, and . . . how much confidence she had in him.” But in premarital sex, dependability and confidence are often undermined by uncontrolled passion. The emphasis is on the physical aspects of sex and self-gratification. Once such selfish patterns are formed, they are hard to break and they wreak havoc after marriage! In marriage, the focus must be on giving, ‘rendering one’s sexual due,’ rather than ‘getting.’​—1 Corinthians 7:3, 4.

Interestingly, in a study of 177 married women, three fourths of those who engaged in premarital sex reported sexual difficulties during the first two weeks of marriage. All those who reported long-term sexual difficulties “had histories of premarital intercourse.” Additionally, research has shown that those engaging in premarital sex are twice as likely to commit adultery after marriage! How true are the Bible’s words: “Fornication . . . take[s] away good motive.”​—Hosea 4:11.

‘You will reap what you sow.’ (Galatians 6:7, 8) Sow passion and reap a bumper crop of doubts and insecurities.

“A significantly larger per cent of divorced than happily married men reported premarital intercourse.”​—Predicting Adjustment in Marriage: A Comparison of a Divorced and a Happily Married Group, by Harvey J. Locke.