Marriage and Family

The rigorous demands of work​—six-day workweek and frequent overtime—​leave the working man with little time for his family. Some men leave for work before the children are up and come home after they have gone to bed. They rarely see their children, except perhaps on Sunday. It may be said that the life of a typical company man, or sarariman (salary man) as he is called in Japan, revolves around his work. His home, wife, and family are like a small side business, giving him a place to eat and sleep, and a certain status in the community.

With few exceptions, the wife takes care of everything in the home. This includes not just the day-to-day household chores but also major decisions such as where to live, what to buy, and even the children’s education and discipline. Thus, in a subtle way, even though the men may still talk and act as if they are the heads of their families, most families of the big-company men are really matriarchal arrangements.

The single man also has his problems. His work leaves him little time for socializing other than business entertaining. Outside of the company, he may have few friends. Yet, Japanese society looks down on late marriages. Anyone who is not married by the time he reaches his 30’s may be considered odd. This explains the prevalence of omiai, or arranged marriages, which account for nearly 60 percent of all marriages in Japan even today.

Big companies frequently move their men around the country from one branch to another. This means pulling up stakes and getting used to new neighbors and environments every two or three years. Although each move is usually accompanied by a promotion and a raise in salary, it could create problems for the family with regard to the children’s schooling or the care of aged parents.

A young mother expressed what might be the typical religious attitude in a news story in Time magazine: “I owe respect to my ancestors and show it through Buddhism. I’m a Japanese, so I do all the little Shinto rituals. And I thought a Christian marriage would be really pretty. It’s a contradiction, but so what?”