There might be said to be three basic kinds of listening. (1) Listening for information, for facts and figures, for the thought content. (2) Also listening for emotional content, paying attention to the tone of voice and whether the speaker is happy or depressed, pleased or angry, proud or humble. The emotions manifested by the speaker, if noted, will go far toward throwing light on what is said. Empathy is all-important for this kind of listening. And (3) there is also the matter of listening for that which is not said. How can you do that? By noticing what is implied but not stated, what is left unsaid. What seems to be the purpose or motive behind what is said? A person may be inhibited from coming out directly with what is on his mind because of pride or shame, because of being too emotionally involved, or because of his concern not to offend a superior.

Because of this there are business courses for such men where they are taught the art of listening.

In such courses men are taught to keep their minds on what is being said​—a real problem because the mind can think so much faster than the mouth can speak. So they are counseled (1) constantly to analyze what is said; (2) to screen out the irrelevant; (3) to categorize the important points; (4) to weigh what is said against what they themselves know; (5) to look ahead to see where the speaker is going; (6) to listen for what is not said.

In addition to such listening, an executive or other overseer must listen for the emotional overtones. Moreover, because of the relationship between the two, between overseer and subordinate, he must listen carefully for what is implied but not said. He must appreciate that the subordinate may be diffident about coming right out with things. He may be fearful of giving offense, of losing his job, of making matters worse rather than improving them by what he says, and so be hesitant really to say what is on his mind. Here again, by paying attention sympathetically, and then posing tactful questions, an overseer can get at the bottom of the problem and how it may be solved.

Listening to the Disturbed

Regarding those who counsel people with emotional problems, the question was asked: “What single factor in a counselor is most important in helping troubled people?” And what was the answer? “Really paying attention,” that is, with eyes as well as ears. According to one of America’s leading psychiatrists, Dr. Karl Menninger, the benefits of listening are both diagnostic and therapeutic. That is, careful sympathetic listening helps the counselor better to understand the problem, and it has a healing effect on the one needing help.

Listening is stressed so much because the human tendency is to want to talk right from the start. This may be due to self-confidence, to one’s success, position, education or experience. The Bible’s counsel at James 1:19 is very fitting in such cases: “Be swift about hearing, slow about speaking, slow about wrath.”

Underscoring the importance of listening instead of talking on the part of those who would give counsel is the following true-life experience:

It was early one Sunday morning as a Christian minister was putting the final touches on a Bible talk he was to give later that day. Suddenly he was startled when an angry young man burst into his study without knocking and started telling him about his frustrations. He had spent the whole night mulling them over. Instead of encouraging the young man to keep on speaking and, by questions, enabling him to appreciate his problem, the minister at once offered what he felt was appropriate counsel, mostly of a reproving nature. The young man left, but he returned shortly in an enraged state, sprung at the minister, trying to choke him. Fortunately some persons on the floor below heard the commotion, came to find out what it was all about and managed to subdue the young man.

Truly, if you are going to help someone who is disturbed, it is important to listen, and not only that but to get across to the troubled person that you are listening with interest and concern. Draw him out with questions, try to get at specifics by asking “For instance?” and other leading questions and by encouraging him to talk by such expressions as “Yes,” and “uh-huh.” Do not be impatient and, in particular, do not be in a hurry to give reproof. Seemingly the troubled person comes to you for counsel and help, but what he needs just as much or even more is an opportunity to be heard out by a sympathetic listener. This approach has helped even persons who have been in mental institutions and judged by the staffs to be hopelessly insane to come back to soundness of mind.

Most appropriate is the inspired counsel: “For everything there is an appointed time, even a time for every affair under the heavens: . . . a time to keep quiet and a time to speak.” (Eccl. 3:1-7) When a child begs for interest, when a subordinate comes to you with a problem or a report, or when a troubled person comes to you for advice or counsel, have patience, exercise empathy, put yourself in the speaker’s shoes. Keep the words of Ecclesiastes in mind, first “keep quiet” and listen, then “speak.” Listen for information. Listen also for emotional overtones. And listen for what might be implied and yet not explicitly stated. As has been well observed, ‘pay the golden coin of attention graciously and gladly, and dividends will come pouring back to you’ in the satisfaction of having truly done some good.