At such times it is well to call to mind that “better is one who is patient than one who is haughty in spirit. Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones.” By exercising self-control, by ignoring the annoyance and keeping pleasant, we will be showing good Christian manners. Then “in no way [shall we be] giving any cause for stumbling,” but “by longsuffering, by kindness, by holy spirit, . . . by God’s power” we will ‘in every way recommend ourselves’ as Christians.—Prov. 16:32; Eccl. 7:8, 9; 2 Cor. 6:3-7.

²⁷ It also takes the power of self-control to heed the instructions to ‘keep yourself restrained under evil, as with mildness you try to instruct those not favorably disposed.’ It is not easy to manifest mildness when dealing with unreasonable persons, but it is very much worth the effort, for it keeps true Christianity from being found fault with. “An answer, when mild, turns away rage,” and so does a tactful answer, as illustrated by Gideon’s reply to the grumbling Ephraimites and recorded at Judges 8:1-3.—2 Tim. 2:24, 25; Prov. 15:1.

²⁸ Christian manners get results: “By patience [length (slowness) as to anger] a commander is induced, and a mild tongue itself can break a bone.” In fact, the less self-control others exercise, the poorer their manners are, the more imperative it is for a Christian to manifest good manners by exercising self-control. Even as “the patience of our Lord [is] salvation,” so for the Christian to show patience to others may result in their salvation.”—Prov. 25:15; 2 Pet. 3:15.

JUSTICE AND LOVE

29. Why does a keen sense of justice aid in displaying Christian manners?

²⁹ A keen sense of justice is also a requisite for Christian manners. How so? Did not Jesus say: “Just as you want men to do to you, do the same way to them”? Surely! So, looking at it solely from the standpoint of what is right and just, manifesting Christian manners is merely conducting oneself toward others as one would have them conduct themselves toward him under similar circumstances. No one wants a caller at his door to be thoughtless, rude, unduly insistent or careless in the treatment of his property, does he? The fact that one means well and acts from pure motives does not justify forgetting about Christian manners.—Luke 6:31.

30, 31. (a) But, above all, what quality is needed for Christian manners, and why? (b) What example did Paul set in this regard?

³⁰ But, above all, Christian manners require application of the quality of love. Love makes for thoughtfulness, for consideration, for warmth, friendliness, pleasantness, all of which are the warp and woof of Christian manners. In particular does love help one to avoid the pitfall of thoughtlessness, for it will cause one to think of others and to appreciate their viewpoint and interests. Christians not only want to keep their hearts pure and serve God unselfishly, but also want to give expression to that pure motive in the most effective manner possible, with love. Love helps to avoid both extremes as to manners: hypocritical flattery, and tactlessness or thoughtlessness. It will keep one from speaking smooth things, from compromising, and it will keep one from wanting to “tell fire to come down from heaven and annihilate” one’s opposers.—Isa. 30:10; Luke 9:54.

³¹ The apostle Paul set a fine example for us in avoiding these two extremes, as can be seen from his letter to the Thessalonian Christians: “At no time have we turned up either with flattering speech, (just as you know) or with a false front for covetousness.” That is what manners in the business world often amount to: just so much flattering speech and conduct because of covetousness, greed. “To the contrary,” continues Paul, “we became gentle in the midst of you, as when a nursing mother cherishes her own children.” He not only meant well, but showed loving, gentle consideration for them.—1 Thess. 2:5, 7.

32. Why may love be said to be the sine qua non of Christian manners?

³² Since those who engage in the Christian ministry do so because of love, they must let love give them eyes and ears to note what is the best thing to do and to say under given circumstances. Love will make them concerned with doing the most good and causing the least possible hurt and will therefore make them careful. While love “rejoices with the truth,” at times it may even indicate an ambiguous, evasive or cryptic reply rather than a tactless blurting out of the blunt truth. Love may well be said to be the sine qua non, the indispensable factor, in Christian manners: “Love is long-suffering and obliging. Love . . . does not brag, does not get puffed up, does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked. . . . It bears all things, . . . endures all things.”—1 Cor. 13:4-7.

33. What testimony have those on the outside given as to the Christian manners of the New World society?

³³ No question about it, Christian manners are important. Their value is driven home to all by the reputation they have gained for the New World society of Jehovah’s witnesses. Typical thereof is the lengthy report a certain United States senator had read into the United States Congressional Record. The gist of it was that the manners of Jehovah’s witnesses are “out of this world.” And a certain New York Herald-Tribune reporter wrote: “They are clean looking, have good manners and show respect for people of all ages. They are sociable in such a nice way that it makes you feel ashamed of the ill-mannered natives of this dirty and cold city of ours.”

34. In conclusion, what may be said about the value of Christian manners?

³⁴ Small and insignificant though Christian manners may seem to be, they are vital: “In no way are we giving any cause for stumbling, that our ministry might not be found fault with.” By means of them Christians will not only “have a favorable testimony from people on the outside,” but enjoy good relations both in the family circle and in the Christian congregation, to their mutual upbuilding and to Jehovah God’s glory!—2 Cor. 6:3-7; 1 Tim. 3:7.

“Weak Witness to Christianity”

Speaking of the form of Christianity practiced by Christendom’s worldly churches, cleric James A. Pike, bishop of the Episcopal diocese of California, wrote in Look magazine of December 20, 1960: “Christianity is in retreat. To be sure, the outward evidence seems to indicate otherwise. The growth of church membership in this country in the last fifteen years has been three times that of the previous fifteen years. . . . But an evaluation of all the evidence would demonstrate, not only that a decline has set in, but that the upsurge itself was without substance. . . . If General Motors over the years were to treble its sales but not improve its cars, its customers would properly consider the achievement a hollow one. The logic is no less applicable to the Christian church. . . . Abroad, there is a relationship between the retreat of Christianity and the advance of communism. . . . Some of the advance of the atheists is due to the church—to its clergy and its most responsible members. . . . What is responsible for making us a weak witness to Christianity? . . . First, the church, instead of being a goad, is by and large at peace with society. . . . A second cause of Christianity’s retreat is found in its own divisions. . . . A third cause of the retreat is that we have tended to make religion man-centered, rather than God-centered. . .‹v›. The final measure of Christianity’s retreat is its increasing irrelevancy to life.”