Peace and Self-Respect

A young maiden mentioned in the Bible remained chaste despite intense love for her boyfriend. Rather than her morals resembling a swinging door that ‘opened up’ under immoral pressure, she could proudly say: “I am a wall, and my breasts are like towers.” Yes, morally she stood like the unscalable wall of a fortress with inaccessible towers. She deserved to be called “the pure one.” And the benefits? The maiden said of her prospective husband, “I have become in his eyes like her that is finding peace.” Her own peace of mind contributed to the contentment between the two of them.​—Song of Solomon 6:9, 10; 8:9, 10.

Esther, mentioned previously, had the same inner peace and self-esteem. She said: “I felt good about myself. Even when workmates would ridicule me, I viewed my virginity like a diamond, valuable because it is so rare.” Additionally, chaste youths are not plagued by a guilty conscience. “There is nothing nicer than to have a good conscience toward Jehovah God,” stated Stefan, a 19-year-old Christian.

‘But how can a couple get to know each other well if they don’t have sex?’ argue some youths.

Builds Lasting Intimacy

Though sex has power, it alone cannot forge a permanent relationship. When sex is delayed till marriage, the couple concentrates on the personal and social qualities, rather than on sexual satisfaction. Focusing on sexual satisfaction can lead to serious problems.

For instance, after two painful breakups, Ann admitted: “I learned from experience that at times you can get too close physically too soon.” Thus, when she and her future husband began to date, they were very careful to avoid becoming too intimate physically. You see, under the enrapturing influence of sexual intimacies, a couple may gloss over serious differences that resurface after marriage.

Those who are chaste can avoid such deception. Explains Ann, who has now been happily married for four years: “While courting, we spent our time working out problems and discussing our goals in life. I got to know what type of person I was marrying. After marriage, there were only pleasant surprises. Most couples really don’t have that much time to spend together while courting. So, if they’re constantly romancing and kissing, they can’t talk about serious matters or work out differences.”

Was it hard for them to control their emotions? “Yes, it was!” confessed Ann. “I am just naturally an affectionate person, and Tim loved it. But we talked about the dangers and helped each other. We both wanted very much to please God and not spoil our upcoming marriage.” However, many young people fear that not having sex will spoil their marriage. Will it?

[Box on page 19]

Chastity Helps Marriage

“This research carried the investigation one step further in an attempt to relate premarital sex experience to total adjustment in marriage as measured by (1) marital happiness, (2) general marital satisfaction, (3) love, and (4) marriage permanence. The findings in general agree with those of [other researchers] that virginity prior to marriage is most favorable to total marriage success.”​—Making the Most of Marriage, by Paul H. Landis.

“A significantly larger per cent of divorced than happily married men reported premarital intercourse.”​—Predicting Adjustment in Marriage: A Comparison of a Divorced and a Happily Married Group, by Harvey J. Locke.

“Premarital chastity can strengthen the respect and love between two sweethearts that lead to the full expression of both personalities within the marriage. . . . Saving sex for marriage gives you something very special to share with one another, which no one else can have.”​—Why Wait Till Marriage? by Dr. Evelyn M. Duvall.