11. What was the situation as to marriage documents needed in ancient times?

¹¹ Nations around the Hebrews had laws demanding written marriage contracts. While the Bible does not mention such documents, it does speak of marriage in terms of a “covenant.” (Malachi 2:14) The Bible’s detailed genealogies suggest that marriages were recorded in some way, and, interestingly, Joseph and Mary complied with a type of legal registration. (Luke 2:1-5; 3:23-38) Papyruses of the fifth century B.C.E. from a Jewish colony at Elephantine (Egypt) contain marriage contracts, one reading:

‘ . . . I have come to your house that you might give me your daughter Miphtahiah in marriage. She is my wife and I am her husband from this day for ever. I have given you as the bride-price of your daughter Miphtahiah (a sum of) 5 shekels. . . .’

12. (a) How do Jehovah’s Witnesses feel about civil marriages? (b) What is advisable if there is a civil and a religious ceremony?

¹² Jehovah’s Witnesses appreciate that a wedding should conform to local law, thus ‘rendering to Caesar what belongs to Caesar.’ (Mark 12:17; Romans 13:1, 7) The law may require that a couple have a blood test, obtain a license and take vows before an authorized marrying agent. In some lands, only civil officials, such as a mayor or a judge, may perform marriages. Yet, members of Christendom’s churches often feel that they really are not married until they have a church wedding. True Christians recognize that a civil marriage is valid, but some still prefer (or local sentiment may recommend) that the civil service be followed by a Scriptural talk. When that is to be done, it is best that this feature come soon after the civil marriage.b

13. If a Christian elder is to officiate, what likely will occur before the wedding?

¹³ Some lands authorize ministers of Jehovah’s Witnesses to solemnize marriages. Usually these are performed by congregation elders, men with experience, insight, maturity and knowledge of God’s Word. An elder who is asked to officiate will probably meet beforehand with the prospective bride and groom. They will, naturally, want to assure him that there are no moral or legal impediments to their marrying. He may offer sound Scriptural counsel and fatherly advice. He also will likely discuss with them arrangements for the ceremony and any social gathering to follow, since he will want to have a clear conscience about this event in which he is being asked to play a major role.​—Proverbs 1:1-4; 2:1; 3:1; 5:15-21; Hebrews 13:17, 18.

14. What sort of wedding talks are appropriate?

¹⁴ Whether preceded by a civil ceremony or not, a wedding talk by a minister of Jehovah’s Witnesses can help to emphasize that from its start a marriage should have a spiritual aspect. Such talks are not of great length, as if containing all that the Bible says on marriage, nor should they be heavily weighted with humor or excessive praise of the couple. The balanced, happy and Scriptural content of these talks can benefit those getting married, as well as all others present.c​—2 Timothy 3:16.

15. How do the vows used by Jehovah’s Witnesses differ from other vows used today?

¹⁵ Vows are part of most weddings. Those used at some “modern” worldly weddings are concocted from odd poetry, or they voice idiosyncratic views of life. A Time magazine essay on “The Hazards of Homemade Vows” told of a clergyman who asked: “Gina, do you agree to love Peter more than you love chocolate?” Then to Peter: “Do you agree to love Gina more than the morning newspaper?” The article stressed, though, that “a wedding is public business” and should dignify the important social step being taken. At weddings of Jehovah’s Witnesses the vows will conform to the requirements of local law. Where permitted, these vows that honor God, the Source of marriage, are used:

“I ​——​ take you ​——​ to be my wedded wife, to love and to cherish in accordance with the divine law as set forth in the Holy Scriptures for Christian husbands, for as long as we both shall live together on earth according to God’s marital arrangement.”

“I ​——​ take you ​——​ to be my wedded husband, to love and to cherish and deeply respect, in accordance with the divine law as set forth in the Holy Scriptures for Christian wives, for as long as we both shall live together on earth according to God’s marital arrangement.”

These vows should not be altered or replaced to suit some whim of the couple.d