Keep Your Marriage Honorable

“Let marriage be honorable among all.”​—HEBREWS 13:4.

1. What question did a newspaper columnist ask, and how did one husband answer?

“IF YOU had it to do over again, would you marry the person to whom you are now married?” asked a popular newspaper columnist. Over half of the 50,000 that responded to this poll answered “Yes.” How would you have answered? A Christian man, married for 33 years, was asked this by his wife. “I sure would!” he beamed. “Looking back, I know there were times it was not easy​—we had our problems. But our marriage was really worth the effort. We have something that is very precious!”

2. At Hebrews 13:4, what does “honorable” mean?

² Since God is its Author, marriage is capable of providing genuine satisfaction and joy. Yet many marriages​—even some among dedicated Christians—​are strained to the limit. The apostle Paul therefore urged, “Let marriage be honorable [”held as of great price, precious . . . especially dear”a] among all.” (Hebrews 13:4) Because marriage brings “tribulation in [the] flesh,” the challenge is in keeping your marriage honorable. (1 Corinthians 7:28) But how can you do this? First, you must recognize one of the biggest problems.

Lack of Personal Communication

3, 4. (a) What is one of the biggest problems in marriage? (b) What is involved in a couple’s being “one flesh”?

³ One Christian couple had been married nearly 20 years. Suddenly, their marriage was shattered by adultery. How could this happen? “When I analyzed what happened over the years,” said the wife, “I realized that we talked about household matters, even our service to God. But when it came to communication on a personal basis​—we had none.” This lack of emotional closeness gradually contributed to a weakening of the marriage commitment and to her husband’s adultery. Such a breakdown of meaningful communications is cited in research studies as one of the major causes for either divorce or “loveless marriages.”

⁴ Yet Jehovah said: “A man will leave his father and his mother and he must stick to his wife and they must become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) Marriage should thus be the closest of all human relationships. It unites two differing personalities​—a delicate task indeed! For such a union to work, each must talk honestly with the other and bare his or her feelings.

5. (a) What hinders personal communication? (b) How can others respect marriage?

⁵ What hinders such personal communication? At times, aloofness is the custom of the land. Some are reticent, shy about expressing themselves. Still others are captivated by our recreation-oriented and materialistic world. They become more interested in things than in their marriage. Having too many people in one’s marriage, or clinging too tightly to parents can also inhibit your closeness. Certainly, others should respect a married couple’s need for privacy and not take undue liberties nor seek the attention that should rightly go to the mate.​—Proverbs 25:17.

6. (a) How can a marriage mate become like a “strong town” and “contentions” become like a fortress “bar”? (b) What questions in the accompanying box help reveal the status of your communication?

⁶ But perhaps the most common reason for a lack of personal communication is suggested at Proverbs 18:19: “A brother who is transgressed against is more than a strong town; and there are contentions that are like the bar of a dwelling tower.” For example, a wife may confide in her mate. What, though, if her feelings are disregarded or belittled, perhaps even used against her on another occasion? She might react by putting up a strong wall of reserve to avoid further emotional damage, as it were, becoming like a fortified “strong town.” A war of pride might ensue, each refusing to back down. Such needless contentions can shut out personal communication and reconciliation as if the couple were separated by the iron bars of a fortress! But what can you do to improve communication?

Cultivating Personal Communication

7. How does Philippians 2:4 show what is needed to cultivate personal communication?

⁷ You must maintain a “personal interest” in the concerns of your mate. (Philippians 2:4) This requires taking the time to talk about personal matters together. For instance, one Christian couple sets aside time right after the husband comes home from work to have a cup of tea and talk to each other. For at least 15 minutes they savor each other’s thoughts and experiences before beginning evening chores. They have done this on a regular basis for 27 years!

8. Why is attentive listening so vital?

⁸ But more is needed than just talking. Asked what she liked best about her husband, a Christian wife replied: “He listens to me. He’s my best friend.” Attentive listening, rather than simply hearing, tells your mate: ‘You are an important person to me. I want to know your thoughts and feelings, share your experiences​—even the unpleasant ones.’ Being a good listener is an art of the heart. It requires what Peter called “fellow feeling” (literally, “to suffer with”) along with ‘tender compassion’ and ‘humility.’ (1 Peter 3:8) So confide in each other. Share even trivial matters. Convert your feelings into words.

9, 10. How can a married couple imitate the way Isaac, Manoah’s wife and Elkanah treated their mates?

⁹ Just imagine the closeness between Isaac and Rebekah. When troubled she was able to pour out her heart to her husband. “I have come to abhor this life of mine,” she lamented on one occasion. Did Isaac make her feel ashamed of these feelings? No, he sympathetically listened and took steps to allay her fears. (Genesis 27:46–28:5) The wife of Manoah noted her husband’s anxiety and offered consoling words.​—Judges 13:22, 23.

¹⁰ Elkanah was sensitive to his wife’s feelings. After noticing his wife’s depression he strove to ‘draw up’ the intentions of her heart by gentle questions, saying: “Hannah, why do you weep, and why do you not eat, and why does your heart feel bad?” (1 Samuel 1:8) What about you? Are you quick to probe your mate’s feelings? Do you let your mate feel free to express his or her feelings without being made to appear condemned? At times a sympathetic ear is needed rather than a pouring forth of advice.​—Proverbs 20:5; 21:13.

Discuss Delicate Problems

11-13. (a) When is personal communication especially hard? (b) Why was Sarah deeply upset? (c) What could she have done, yet what did she do?

¹¹ What if your mate does something or allows something that pains you and that could even damage your marriage? How can you communicate during such times? An episode in the life of Abraham and Sarah provides helpful insight.

¹² On the day when her son Isaac was weaned, Sarah noticed Ishmael, Abraham’s son through the slave Hagar, “poking fun” at Isaac.b Undoubtedly, teenage Ishmael taunted his five-year-old half brother, now destined to replace him as the God-appointed heir of Abraham. Sarah was deeply disturbed over this threatening speech. What if her husband suddenly died? Could Hagar perhaps convince others that her son, not Isaac, should be the heir of the promise?​—Genesis 17:19; 21:8, 9.

¹³ Sarah could have feared Abraham’s displeasure and swallowed her feelings, for she knew he dearly loved Ishmael. She may not have made an issue over other matters, allowing her love to cover over. She was noted as a wife who ‘obeyed Abraham, calling him “lord.”’ (1 Peter 3:6) But this was a critical situation. Of course, she could have given Abraham the “silent treatment,” hoping that he would figure out what was troubling her. But no, Sarah communicated! “Drive out this slave girl and her son,” she said, “for the son of this slave girl is not going to be an heir with my son, with Isaac!”​—Genesis 21:10.

14. What action did Abraham take, and why?

¹⁴ Abraham found this demand very displeasing; at least momentarily he allowed affection for Ishmael to cloud his thinking. But did Abraham retort: ‘How dare you talk to me that way! Who is the head of this family?’ No. In fact, God told him: “Do not let anything that Sarah keeps saying to you be displeasing to you about the boy and about your slave girl. Listen to her voice.” The next morning Abraham did just that. This preserved peace and God’s purpose was carried out​—though it pained Abraham deeply.​—Genesis 21:11-14.

15, 16. (a) Name some problems that can put a strain on marriages. (b) How can married couples imitate Abraham and Sarah, and with what results? Give an example.

¹⁵ Many problems today can put a strain on your marriage. For instance, you may feel that your mate is giving undue attention to another person. Research studies, along with countless actual experiences, show that if a husband or a wife gives too much attention to a personal friend, especially of the opposite sex, it causes considerable marital strain. Or possibly your mate cherishes a job, a hobby or some form of recreation that is having a detrimental effect on your marriage. Maybe your mate has become calloused to your feelings. Do you, like Sarah, discuss such delicate matters and perhaps prevent further damage? And if your mate did bring up something that pained your heart, would you respond like Abraham, seriously considering God’s direction? Would not such a response encourage open communication?​—Proverbs 27:5.

¹⁶ Of course, “love covers a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8) So do not make an issue over all differences and human flaws. But some have fearfully held back from discussing serious problems; or if they did discuss these, their mate belittled them. Sadly, patterns of conduct are thus established that often lead to marital disaster. One Christian wife was deeply upset for some time because of her husband’s lack of consideration for her emotional makeup during sexual intimacy. She felt she was being “used” for his self-gratification. She considered leaving him. Yet she had not even discussed it with her husband, fearing that he would not understand. Following the advice of a mature Christian, she finally bared her pent-up feelings. He had not realized how his actions were affecting her! He made needed changes and now that problem no longer mars their happiness. Preserve the honorableness of your marriage by cultivating personal communication.

Law of Loving-Kindness Upon the Tongue

17. What “law” should be on a couple’s tongue? Illustrate.

¹⁷ But does the need for personal communication give a license for thoughtless speech? “There exists the one speaking thoughtlessly as with the stabs of a sword, but the tongue of the wise ones is a healing.” (Proverbs 12:18) Yes, even if you are right and have the best of intentions, a thoughtless remark still “stabs.” For good reason a capable wife is described as having “the law of loving-kindness” upon her tongue. (Proverbs 31:26) So consistent is her kindly speech that it is called a law. When a man fails in some endeavor, how much he appreciates such a law on his wife’s tongue! One Christian man was crushed because of a business loss. “At least you tried,” said his considerate wife. “It’s going to come out better the next time.” How his spirits soared!

18. How did one wife more fully practice this “law”?

¹⁸ Especially is kindly speech needed during an argument. The sarcastic speech of a contentious wife can drive a husband away and make him prefer dwelling in a barren wilderness. (Proverbs 19:13; 21:19) Because of contention in her marriage a Christian wife decided to practice this law more fully. How? “When something is bothering me I just don’t blurt it out as I used to,” she explained. “I try to wait for the best time when we are alone. I even control my facial expressions and I don’t put my husband down in front of the children. It sure has made a difference!” Of course, both husband and wife must consider how costly their words might be in terms of the other’s self-esteem.​—Proverbs 25:11; Galatians 5:15.

19, 20. (a) Having “insight” involves what? (b) How did insight slow down the anger of one husband, and with what result? (c) What are some revealing questions?

¹⁹ But what is needed when emotions become heated? Insight! “The heart of the wise one causes his mouth to show insight, and to his lips it adds persuasiveness.” (Proverbs 16:23) Insight involves looking beyond the obvious. At Nehemiah 8:8 the Hebrew word is rendered “meaning.” How does insight stop an argument? One husband walked in to find his wife throwing silverware across the room in a rage. “You don’t care about me!” she tearfully blurted. “You come home and spend your time in the garden. I need help!” But what was really bothering the wife was physical and emotional frustration. She had just had a baby and now was expecting another. She felt trapped at home. Her husband had insight. Overlooking her unchristian outburst, he perceived the underlying frustration. His reply? “I’m sorry, honey. I should have been in here helping you.” Soon she calmed down. “My respect for him jumped to a new height,” she later revealed.

²⁰ How true are the words of Proverbs 19:11: “The insight of a man certainly slows down his anger, and it is beauty on his part to pass over transgression”! Do you show such insight? Do you look behind the words? Are you able to pass over such a personal transgression? Insight can also add persuasiveness to whatever request you make of the other. Yes, a mate who is discreet, possessing insight, is a gift from Jehovah and contributes to a precious marriage.​—Proverbs 19:14.

Allow for Differences and Imperfection

21. How can accepting differences keep your marriage precious?

²¹ Despite the best of efforts, no couple will agree on everything. Differences will exist. A traveling Christian overseer, married for over 25 years, observed: “Some couples are saying, ‘We are so different!’ Then they concentrate on these differences and soon cannot stand living together. Sure, my wife and I have some different tastes, but we have a lot in common too. By focusing on what we hold in common, our marriage becomes more precious each day.” Are you as willing to accommodate and allow for differences in your marriage?

22. (a) What can help mates to realize satisfaction in marriage? (b) What is the strongest incentive to keep your marriage honorable?

²² The perfect mate does not exist. Satisfaction can be attained by learning to accept differences and to put up with minor weaknesses. (Colossians 3:13) The fact is, our relationship with God, wanting him to remain our Friend, is the strongest incentive to keep our marriage honorable. Truly commendable is the course of those Christians who out of regard for their relationship with Jehovah have striven to make a success of their marriage.

23. How can we keep our marriage precious?

²³ Any marriage that is neglected will tarnish. Yet you can restore the luster by putting forth a genuine effort to (1) cultivate personal communication, (2) keep the law of loving-kindness on your tongue and (3) allow for differences and imperfection. This, coupled with God’s blessing, will keep your marriage precious not only to you but to its Grand Author.

1. Why is Christian headship both demanding and rewarding?

“MARRIAGE! Nothing else demands so much from a man!” Thus wrote Norwegian poet Ibsen. In view of the Bible principle of headship, you may heartily agree. Yet, when properly exercised, Christian headship can also create a homelife that is a haven of mutual love and respect where your heart is at ease. However, your divinely appointed position as head does bring with it greater accountability before God.​—Luke 12:48.

2. Is happiness in the home solely up to the efforts of the husband?

² Does this mean that you as a husband are solely responsible for the happiness in your home? No, both you and your wife must try to improve the atmosphere there. (Proverbs 14:1) The fact that much of what follows applies to the husband does not mean that wives are less imperfect. But it is designed to help husbands live up to the demands of Christian headship. Just how is headship to be exercised? This is a matter that all Christians​—even the unmarried—​need to understand.

Love as Christ Loved the Congregation

3. How does Ephesians 5:25 describe proper headship, and what does this mean?

³ “Husbands, continue loving your wives, just as the Christ also loved the congregation and delivered up himself for it,” wrote the apostle Paul. (Ephesians 5:25) Since husbands have the Scriptural right to make final decisions in the family, it would be easy for you to allow selfishness to creep in. Admittedly, most family decisions are matters where personal preferences play a large role. Do your own likes prevail when no Bible principle is involved? Note that a husband must imitate Jesus’ self-sacrificing love. He delivered up himself for his disciples. “Christ did not please himself.” (Romans 15:3) Self-sacrifice means giving up some pleasure or going through some trouble or inconvenience for the benefit of another.

4. In what way did Jesus show his concern for his disciples?

⁴ Jesus’ consuming interest was to help his disciples spiritually. While firm for righteousness, he was never harsh when his disciples expressed wrong views, or were arrogant, impulsive or cowardly. (Matthew 18:1-3; Luke 22:24-26, 47-51, 59-62) ‘By means of the Word of God,’ and his example, he aided his disciples in overcoming serious weaknesses so that they, as a group, would “be holy and without blemish.”​—Ephesians 5:26, 27.

5, 6. How can a husband imitate Jesus’ self-sacrificing love, and when is this especially hard?

⁵ Do you show such self-sacrificing love? Some men feel that providing for their wives materially is sufficient sacrifice. True, such labor is difficult and should be deeply appreciated. Yet at the heart of Jesus’ example was his tireless exertion in caring for the spiritual and emotional needs of his disciples in addition to their physical ones. After all the anxieties of the world in caring materially for their families, many men may understandably not want to be further taxed mentally at home. While this attitude is common in families that do not try to follow the Bible, sadly even one Christian wife confided: “My husband gave me no direction at all. There were times when I poured out my heart for guidance on certain matters, but his mind was somewhere else.”

⁶ Self-sacrificing love is the answer. If your wife has a baffling problem, rather than put her off by a word or facial expression this love will motivate you to reason matters out with her patiently. You will be very concerned about her spirituality, studying the Bible and sharing in sacred service with her. You will avoid letting her shoulder weighty decisions that are rightly your responsibility. You will also see that she has opportunity to relax and rest up a bit. (Mark 6:31) Such initiative gives a wife self-respect and real security.

Lowly at Heart

7. To exercise a balanced headship, what quality is needed?

⁷ Often, men have difficulty finding a balance with headship. At times some will feel threatened even if a wife makes a suggestion or is somewhat critical. Jesus, the model for Christian heads, said: “I am mild-tempered and lowly in heart.” (Matthew 11:29) His humility was not on the surface, only to disappear when someone differed with him.

8, 9. (a) For what did Sarah blame Abraham, and why? (b) Why did Abraham not belittle her or answer harshly?

⁸ Abraham was also an example of humility. His wife, Sarah, was treated disrespectfully by her slave girl Hagar. Abraham either did not notice this haughty action or failed to take swift action. “The violence done me be upon you,” said Sarah. “I myself gave my maidservant over to your bosom, and she became aware that she was pregnant, and I began to be despised in her eyes. May Jehovah judge between me and you.”​—Genesis 16:5.

⁹ How those words must have stung! For Abraham dearly loved Sarah and would never want her hurt. Though Sarah may have had reason to blame Abraham for her predicament, she may have overreacted, for she even appealed to God as if Abraham would not be just. Now, did Abraham lash out in defense of his headship? Did he consider her unsubmissive? He knew that Sarah had left a comfortable home in Ur and for over 10 years had dwelt in tents as he responded to God’s leading. That was subjection! Her submissive, unselfish support had endeared her to him. (1 Peter 3:5, 6) “Look! Your maidservant is at your disposal,” was his mild reply. “Do to her what is good in your eyes.” (Genesis 16:6) Abraham was lowly in heart. What a man!

10. (a) How can a husband imitate Abraham? (b) Will you always be successful?

¹⁰ When your wife may blame you for some problem, try to respond as did Abraham. It is not always easy. There will be times when you fall short. But listen, try to understand and evaluate what she is saying. Sometimes in a burst of emotion a wife may not say just the proper words. She may overreact just like Sarah. Try to see how you can work it out together.

11. Why should a husband not view his wife as a “second-class” person?

¹¹ True, a husband can set down various rules for the household. (Romans 7:2) Yet your wife is not a child or a “second-class” person. Jehovah said, “I am going to make a helper for [the man], as a complement of him [literally, “one like him”].” (Genesis 2:18) Eve was to be on Adam’s level of intelligence, his counterpart, really able to help him in carrying out his divine assignment.

12. (a) What was accomplished when one husband developed modesty of heart? (b) How does modesty work for happiness in marriage?

¹² The capable wife described in Proverbs 31 was trusted by her husband. She purchased property; even planted a vineyard “from the fruitage of her hands”​—no small task! Was the husband resentful, feeling his headship threatened? No, he praised her! (Pr 31 Verses 10, 11, 16, 28) A similar attitude can help you avoid needless arguments. For instance, one husband and his wife argued constantly. He admittedly exercised a “bossy” headship. After prayerful self-examination he swallowed this improper pride. He began to evaluate her suggestions. Eventually he even let her take care of some of the money matters. He now says: “She does a great job!” The wife adds: “I just wanted to be trusted. It is good to feel inside that your husband has confidence in you.” Proverbs 13:10 thus warns: “By presumptuousness one only causes a struggle, but with those consulting together there is wisdom.” A husband who is modest, aware of his limitations, rejoices with his wife’s skills, thereby showing himself to be modest at heart.​—Proverbs 11:2.

Show Honor to the “Weaker Vessel”

13. (a) First Peter 3:7 shows that a husband must do what? (b) What emotional need makes a woman the “weaker vessel”?

¹³ “You husbands,” wrote the apostle Peter, “continue dwelling in like manner with [your wives] according to knowledge, assigning them honor as to a weaker vessel, the feminine one.” (1 Peter 3:7) You must have knowledge of your wife’s emotional makeup, which is basically why she is considered the weaker vessel. A wife must sense that she is loved and cherished by her husband. Without this one ingredient​—despite what material goods she has—​she will feel inadequate. She must be convinced that her husband feels as did the husband of long ago who said to his wife: “There are many daughters that have shown capableness, but you​—you have ascended above them all.”​—Proverbs 31:28, 29.

14. What gives a woman emotional security?

¹⁴ ‘My wife should know I love her. I married her, didn’t I?’ may be the thinking of some men. Women, however, thrive on expressed affection. The faithful man Isaac was sensitive to this need. After 35 years of marriage he was seen showing affection to his wife. (Genesis 26:8) Do likewise. By the attention you give, let her know that your heart is with her, that to you ‘she excels all women.’

15. To be attentive to their wives, what must husbands guard, and why is this so important?

¹⁵ To be this attentive takes time and thought. Some husbands find it easier to become attentive to someone who seems new and exciting. This happened in Israel during the time of Malachi. Jehovah said to those self-centered men who were dealing treacherously with their wives: “You must guard yourselves respecting your spirit.” (Malachi 2:13-16) Yes, these needed to guard, watch out for, their feelings. Because we may work or live close to other women, we must do the same. It takes a conscious effort and self-discipline to prevent egotism, boredom or curiosity from changing your spirit, inner feelings, toward your wife.​—Matthew 5:27-30.

The Wife’s “Due”

16. What area of marriage has many problems, and how is unselfishness indicated at 1 Corinthians 7:3, 4?

¹⁶ Your self-sacrifice is especially necessary with the marital “due.” “Let the husband render to his wife her due; but let the wife also do likewise to her husband. The wife does not exercise authority over her own body, but her husband does; likewise, also, the husband does not exercise authority over his own body, but his wife does.” (1 Corinthians 7:3, 4) Problems abound in this sensitive relationship. Some research studies have shown that one half of all couples will experience a serious sexual problem at some time during their marriage.

17. (a) What should be included in paying a wife her marital due? (b) How does one researcher explain the needs of a wife?

¹⁷ Many husbands often equate their wife’s needs or sexual “due” with their own. In a completely different avenue Paul showed that not all “dues” are alike. At Romans 13:7 some governmental officials are due the tax, others the tribute, still others honor. The due required depends on the specific need or request of the individual. As to the marital due of your wife, more than physical union is necessary. In The Family, Society, and the Individual, researcher William M. Kephart states: “The essence of female sexuality, then, can best be described in terms of love and affection. . . . During sex activities the average woman is perhaps as much concerned with amatory behavior​—being held, caressed, kissed . . . it seems to be in the nature of women to think of sex in terms of tenderness and love, rather than as an isolated physical drive.”

18. What can create self-centeredness?

¹⁸ Your wife’s emotional makeup as the “weaker vessel” requires that you be self-sacrificing and not merely concerned with your own satisfaction. Furthermore, being entertained by material that features sex can create an improper “sexual appetite” and lead to self-centeredness, making common and crude what should be beautiful. Avoid such material like the plague! (Colossians 3:5) But patiently, through expressions of tender love, render to your wife her full due.​—1 Corinthians 10:24.

Self-Sacrifice Touches the Heart

19. If a husband is self-sacrificing, should a Christian wife take advantage of it?

¹⁹ With such emphasis on the husband’s self-sacrifice you may feel, ‘Will not wives take advantage of it​—always insisting on their own way?’ That should not be the case! Christian wives should respond as the congregation did to Jesus’ self-sacrificing love. Paul writes: “The love the Christ has compels us . . . and he died for all that those who live might live no longer for themselves.” (2 Corinthians 5:14, 15) So, too, your wife should respond with unselfishness. As one happy Christian wife said: “I will knock myself out for my husband so that we can keep serving in a very difficult theocratic assignment, because I know he cares about me.”

20. (a) How does reflection on Genesis 3:16 show that both husbands and wives can become unbalanced? (b) Why should wives not be quick to point to their husband’s errors?

²⁰ Yes, wives, there is need on your part to be unselfish. Just as a man can abuse his headship by selfishly dominating his wife, so, too, a wife can have an inordinate craving for the attention of her husband. (Genesis 3:16) Balance is not easy. With all the demands on your husband, including heavy congregational duties, there are bound to be times when he may not satisfy all your emotional needs. “If errors were what you watched, O Jah, O Jehovah, who could stand?” confessed the psalmist. None of us could! (Psalm 130:3) Just as your husband will have an accounting with Jehovah, so will you. But right now your expressions of appreciation for the good he does along with mercy will capture not just the eye of your husband but his very heart.

Help From Above

21. How does God help? Give an illustration.

²¹ Of course, all these responsibilities may seem overwhelming. But God will help you “to be made mighty in the man [or, woman] you are inside with power through his spirit.” It is this inner strength that can enable you to carry any load, for Jehovah, through his power, can “do more than superabundantly beyond all the things we ask or conceive.” (Ephesians 3:16, 20) One Christian couple separated because of problems. After some time they sat down together to discuss a possible reconciliation. The shouting started again. Then the husband suggested that they pray together. They calmed down. “That appeared to be the real problem in our marriage,” confided the husband. “We always tried to settle our problems on our own instead of bringing Jehovah into them. And nothing ever worked.” After being reunited for over five years, the wife said: “It just gets better. The more we apply the truth of the Bible, the happier we become. Now we try to include Jehovah in every aspect of our marriage. We enjoy so much working together in the preaching work.”

22, 23. (a) Around what should a Christian marriage be centered? (b) Why are many wives to be heartily commended?

²² Yes, a Christian’s marriage should be centered around his relationship with God, not simply around pleasing his mate. As Paul wrote: “Let those who have wives be as though they had none.” (1 Corinthians 7:29) Of course, Paul was not telling husbands to ignore their wives. It is only proper that a married man be eager to “gain the approval of his wife.” (1 Corinthians 7:33) But as a man advances spiritually and shows the qualities of a good husband he will likely be appointed to service privileges in the congregation. This would take up some of the time that previously was shared with his wife, though he should not become unbalanced. But still occasionally she may have to do without his full attention.

²³ Many of you wives have unselfishly bided your time on various occasions while your husband had to care for necessary congregational duties. You are truly to be commended! Your patient support is deeply appreciated by your husband and Jehovah. You are just what the Bible says​—“a crown” to your husband and one that brings “goodwill from Jehovah”!​—Proverbs 12:4; 18:22.

24. What should husband and wife individually try to do?

²⁴ So, husbands, continue showing self-sacrificing love. Wives, continue to respond with unselfish support. Build your marriage around your relationship with God. And may our tender Father richly bless your efforts!