Communicating With the Children

The arrival of a young couple’s first child presents a real challenge to them. After all, a newborn infant needs more than just regular feedings and diaper changes. Researchers say that infants have a strong need to communicate. True, a baby cannot talk. But a parent’s eyes, touch, and bodily contact do much to open the lines of communication. This is one reason why many hospitals no longer separate mothers from their newborn infants. And, say Swedish researchers Winberg and de Château: “While close [mother-infant] contact during this period may directly influence the baby’s development, it may be of even greater importance to the mother, strengthening her bond to the newborn . . . This contact seems to influence her attitudes and sensitivity to the infant’s needs.”

What else can parents do to get communication with their children off to a good start? The Bible indicates that parents should speak to their children “from infancy.” (2 Timothy 3:15) Is this realistic? Researchers Winberg and de Château claim that singing and talking to an infant may be “important in meeting [his] psychological needs.” Soviet researcher M. I. Lisina similarly cites an experiment in which babies were spoken to affectionately, smiled at and caressed. The result? After two months these babies reached “a significantly higher developmental level” than other children who did not receive this attention. Such loving communication pays emotional dividends for a child, and as Dr. Lisina further observes: “We believe interaction with other people is critically important in the genesis of [a baby’s] verbal functions.”

Study and Recreation

Naturally, as the children grow older the problems of raising them become more complex. Many Christian families have thus found it helpful to establish a program of spiritual activities. This can do much to promote communication and unity. Such a program can be varied, flexible, and enjoyable for all.

Admittedly, establishing such a program may require some adjustments on the part of everyone. For example, in some parts of Africa, the father traditionally eats in dignified solitude. But upon becoming a Christian, he sees the need to preside over his family at mealtimes. The advantages? At breakfast, a Bible text or topic can be discussed, setting a good tone for the day. The evening meal can be a relaxed time for all to recount the events of the day and to have “an interchange of encouragement.” (Romans 1:12) Parents can encourage their youngsters to express themselves.

Personal chats can be very helpful​—especially when they are kept informal. “You must inculcate [God’s words] in your son and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up,” the Bible tells parents. (Deuteronomy 6:7) A father might therefore ask his unusually quiet son to work with him in the garden or on some repair project. A mother might likewise instruct her daughter in sewing. Such relaxed occasions often lead to a real sharing of feelings. Even intimate subjects such as sex, bodily changes, morals, faith, and goals in life can often be broached on such occasions. “I had some of my best discussions with my boys over the kitchen sink,” one mother recalls.