John had been a congregation elder before his trip to a spiritually “distant country.” “Following the truth is definitely a safeguard, but when you are not active, you let your guard down,” explains John. “Even though you might not do anything really bad, little things begin to be tolerated. You say to yourself, ‘Well, I’m not attending any congregational meetings, so does it really make a difference what I do?’” Another Witness who was inactive for several years admitted: “I really did get involved in bad conduct. I found out very quickly that there is no limit to how low a person can sink by associating with persons of the world. The only way to enjoy their association is to keep your mouth shut about Jehovah. When you do, you are headed for a lot of trouble.”

Yet many who become inactive do not drift back into a “debauched life” as did the prodigal of Jesus’ parable. Still all become aware of the separation from a close relationship with God. One inactive couple “never picked up a Bible for 15 years,” and yet remained morally chaste. The wife explains: “Materially speaking, things were extremely good for us during those years. You can be led to believe that there is no need to come back to Jehovah. We built our entire lives around our jobs and ourselves. We tried to block off all memories of the truth to the point of moving to an area where no one knew us. But all this happiness was candy coated. Inside we were torn apart. My husband was deeply depressed for years. We stopped praying, even before meals. I couldn’t sleep many nights worrying about the truth and feeling guilty.” The husband added: “We felt that we were on death row.”

To be estranged from Jehovah, to feel all alone spiritually, is a painful situation. One Christian woman who once was inactive said: “There is nothing like having Jehovah’s favor. When you feel bad and you can’t pray to him, or you have doubts that he is going to answer your prayers, it is a terrible condition.”

“He Came to His Senses”

The prodigal recognized his inner spiritual feelings and responded. Jesus said: “He came to his senses.” The original Greek words literally mean, “He came into himself.” He had been “beside himself,” in an unreal world. And now he became aware of his own true spiritual condition. He reflected on the peace and abundance he had enjoyed in his father’s home.​—Luke 15:17.

Though the prodigal achieved this realization on his own, often such insight follows several spiritual discussions that rekindle dormant feelings. For example, Diane, while inactive, confided in a Witness with whom she had become acquainted: “I can’t come back to Jehovah. I don’t love him and I know that that must be the motive.” The Witness asked: “Did you love your husband at the beginning of your courtship?” “No, how could I? I didn’t know him,” replied Diane. “I then realized,” confessed Diane, “that loving Jehovah would come with getting to know him once again. I later got in touch with the congregation and asked for help. A couple, under the elders’ direction, studied the Bible with my husband and me for over a year, and we became active again.”

However, one of the biggest obstacles to returning is an overwhelming feeling of guilt.

Have I Gone Too Far?

“Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy of being called your son,” is how the prodigal felt after he “came to his senses.” Others have felt the same way​—unworthy of being called one of God’s family.​—Luke 15:17-19.

“You realize that you have knowingly turned your back on Jehovah. This guilt gave me a sick feeling,” admitted Virginia. “When I started becoming active again, I had a real battle starting to pray again. I kept thinking, ‘What does Jehovah want with me, since I turned my back on him.’” Others have felt that they committed the “unforgivable sin.”

One Witness who recovered said: “Jehovah just allowed me to see one step at a time and he greatly helped me.” Another one added: “The minute I stepped into the Kingdom Hall all my old friends gave me hugs and kisses. Their happiness just overwhelmed me. I thought ‘Why was I afraid?’” Though some might have an attitude similar to that of the prodigal’s older brother, the vast majority will rejoice to see you return.​—Luke 15:25-32.

Why not taste for yourself? One Christian woman who recovered after staying away for some time declared: “There is no other place to find inner peace. Everything else just fell into place once I became spiritually active again. This world offers nothing of value. You have such a good feeling knowing you are pleasing to Jehovah and have his protection. You can sleep at night. Your life now is satisfying and you can develop a real hope for life in the New Order.”