Overcoming This Private Fault

8, 9. Appreciation of what facts can help a person to break the masturbation habit?

⁸ If a Christian had this secret fault, what could he do to conquer it, “to get possession of his own vessel in sanctification and honor”? (1 Thessalonians 4:4) Through his Word, God provides valuable help.

⁹ First it is important to recognize that Jehovah does have standards. He makes plain the wrongness of extramarital sex, both fornication and adultery. (Hebrews 13:4) Hence, if we believe that his ways are the best, we will seek satisfying rewards of sexual expression only within marriage. (Psalm 25:4, 5) The book Adolescence, by E. Atwater, points out that regarding masturbation, youths commonly express ‘reticence, embarrassment and misgivings.’ One reason given is that ‘the closeness of a love relationship that accompanies sexual intercourse is missing in masturbation.’ Yes, there is benefit in controlling sexual desire until this can be expressed in loving marital relations.

10. What are some steps that a person can take to help himself overcome the practice?

¹⁰ God’s Word provides additional help by counseling: ‘Whatever things are true, whatever things are of serious concern, whatever things are righteous, whatever things are chaste, whatever things are well spoken of and whatever virtue there is, continue considering these things.’ (Philippians 4:8) Clearly, erotic pictures and immoral novels are not ‘chaste and well spoken of or virtuous.’ Yet these things are often the fare of masturbators. Anyone determined to overcome this fault must, then, absolutely avoid such erotic material. Experience has proved that if a person’s desires begin to be drawn toward the erotic in a way that previously resulted in masturbation, determined concentration on what is righteous and chaste can cool the desires. This is especially important if a person is alone or in the dark, when the secret fault of self-abuse is most common.b​—Romans 13:12-14.

11. Describe additional things that have proved beneficial in coping with this fault.

¹¹ A related aid is keeping active, in line with the admonition: “Keep strict watch that how you walk is not as unwise but as wise persons, buying out the opportune time for yourselves, because the days are wicked.” (Ephesians 5:15) Ask a mature Christian confidant for suggestions about positive things to do. (Isaiah 32:2) Many who have overcome this fault admit that their knowing that a concerned Christian would be checking with them on their progress helped them to develop self-control. Of course, the One who should be our closest confidant is Jehovah. So it is vital to turn to him in prayer, seeking his help. (Philippians 4:6, 7) If someone who has battled this fault for a time should “stumble,” he can ask God for power, then he can renew his efforts and likely succeed again, for an even longer period.​—Hebrews 12:12, 13; Psalm 103:13, 14.

[Box on page 17]

He Overcame Self-Abuse

AS A YOUNG MAN, C​——— had normal sexual feelings, but he also had a problem. From the age of 13 he had the habit of self-abuse, usually in the secrecy of his bedroom. He was a bit ashamed of it, but he felt that it was not hurting anyone else.

By the time he was 19, the practice was ingrained. On occasion C​——— confessed it to his priest, but he was told that though wrong, it was not too serious. When C​——— joined the military, he did not have much privacy. Hence, he seldom resorted to self-abuse, which, incidentally, shows that his past habit was not the result of uncontrollable passion.

Upon getting out of the military, C​——— returned home. He began purchasing pornographic magazines and, aroused by these, he was soon back to his former ways. When he began living alone, it was easy to get sexually stimulating material. Often he masturbated several times a day.

Then he began to study the Bible with a minister of Jehovah’s Witnesses. As he learned God’s view of immorality, C​——— felt ashamed of purchasing pornographic materials, and he wanted to break the habit of self-abuse. He tried. But after a week or two he would feel sexual tension, would stop by some newspaper stand, and would become aroused by the immoral material. Back home, he would feel that since he had already failed, he might as well go one step farther. Afterward, remorse would come. Would he never be able to break this bad habit?

Finally C​——— spoke to a spiritual elder at the congregation. This minister was understanding and helped him to look up Bible-based material that would help him to improve his self-control. The minister also explained:

‘Imagine the desire to be like a chain. The first link is small and weak. But each successive link gets larger and harder. That is the way it is with urges leading to masturbation. So you need to stop the impulse as soon as possible. The longer it goes on, the more intense your desire becomes. Finally it will be almost unstoppable. Yes, try to break the chain at the first link. As soon as you sense the urge coming, DO SOMETHING! Get up and change your position, polish your shoes, empty the garbage can​—anything to break the link. You might begin reading something out loud, such as the Bible or a Christian publication that will channel your thoughts along clean lines.’

This minister would inquire of C​——— at the meetings as to how things were going, regularly commending and encouraging him in his resolve. For seven weeks C​——— succeeded. Then, when he was frustrated and discouraged over another problem, he succumbed again, buying some erotic literature. That led to a relapse. Such episodes were setbacks, but the minister urged him to continue the struggle. Gradually the intervals lengthened to 9 weeks, then 17 weeks, then even longer. Slowly his confidence grew that he would be able to master the secret problem.

Finally C​——— faced up to the fact that Jehovah knew all that he was doing. Thus, if he wanted to serve God with a completely clear conscience, he would have to get this practice out of his life totally. He did it! Now he is not even able to recall how long it has been. As an exemplary Christian, C​——— has been given responsibility in the congregation, and he is making plans to increase his service to God’s praise. He is a different person.