Yet she went on to state: “I have a problem talking to people. If I look someone in the eyes while speaking, my face turns red and I get all choked up inside​—especially if I’m talking to a man. If I’m paid some sort of compliment, I can feel my face turn red and I have to look the other way. When I’m with a group of people talking, I never say anything because my voice is so soft, no one ever hears me anyway. At work I have heard several comments on how ‘stuck up’ I am because I don’t talk to anybody. . . . I’m not stuck up, I’m just shy.”

Do you feel this way? Does your pulse race when you are in the company of strangers or persons in authority? Can you feel your face flush when you are paid a compliment? Does your heart pound when you’re facing a group of people? Unable to speak, do you start perspiring noticeably?

What Shyness Is

Shyness is feeling uneasy around people​—especially those who are new to you or with whom you do not feel secure. These could be strangers, those in authority, persons of the opposite sex or even your peers. Shyness is extreme self-consciousness when one is around others. It is your reaction to the way you think about yourself.

Shyness affects people in different ways. Some react like the young woman mentioned above. They get embarrassed, their pulse quickens, they get butterflies in their stomach. With eyes downcast and heart pounding, they find themselves unable to speak. Or, they talk so softly that they can hardly be heard. They would like to run away. Others quickly get flustered. Losing their composure, they begin to chatter continuously, their pitch rising in nervousness. They may end up saying and doing things they wish they hadn’t. Yet others find it hard to assert themselves​—to speak up and voice their opinions or preferences.

For some, shyness is a constant thing. Others feel shy only in certain situations.