NEWS reports from various lands tell of weddings taking many forms. For instance, two German acrobats were wed while on a trapeze high above a town square. Then there was a pair of skydivers who parachuted to earth, followed by a priest who married them on the spot where they landed.

Though these may be rare, publicity-motivated examples, more and more couples desiring to marry have decided to express their individuality in other ways. Such “individualists” have observed that many conventional weddings are extremely formal and costly affairs, where the emphasis is placed on etiquette, seemingly endless details and custom-bound ritual just to impress friends and relatives. Without question such preoccupation with “showy display” often detracts from the real significance and pleasure of the occasion.

In rebellion against such, the so-called “New Wedding” has developed in the past decade. In it the couple often disregard established customs and the opinions of their conservative seniors. They may get married on a mountainside, at the beach or in a cave, instead of in a church or a judge’s chambers. At a “New Wedding” the couple might read a piece of poetry instead of repeating the conventional wedding vows (imitating a wedding staged in a recent motion picture). At one such wedding near Los Angeles, California, a couple recited the following:

“I do my thing, and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations. And you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I and if by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful.”

Now, in your opinion, no doubt, both extremes are undesirable. Likely you will agree that there is no need to be an abject slave of the “rules of etiquette” covering every detail. But you also probably believe that a wedding should not be a “do-it-yourself” stunt that disregards the feelings of others and the nature and dignity of the occasion.

The “New Wedding” example quoted earlier illustrates that even in regard to the marriage vow there is a trend to “do your own thing.” Sometimes the couple make up their own vow; in other cases the clergyman does so. Thus in one church the minister “married” two lesbians for “as long as there’s love.” Another pastor married a naked couple for “as long as you dig it.”

One reporter observed: “The American wedding is a reflection of our dominant concerns: love and money, involving big doses of romanticism and status-seeking.” This may often be true in other lands too.