A young wife recalls: “We had a rough time financially after we got married. We were living from week to week and from hand to mouth. I wasn’t used to such insecurity.”

This young couple, however, eased their marital tensions by applying the Scriptures. Confesses the husband: “I guess I was just totally oblivious to her feelings. I thought everything was just fine. But I didn’t realize she was a nervous wreck.” What did they do about this communication gap? Recalls the wife: “We had long talks. They were at times uncomfortable talks, but they always helped.”

And it takes two to quarrel. If your mate gets upset and angry, why not try to remain calm and tactful? Agree and sympathize if possible. As the Bible says: “An answer, when mild, turns away rage.” (Proverbs 15:1) Sharp retorts will only aggravate the situation. Better it is to ask in a kind way: “Did I upset you? What’s wrong, dear?” Lovingly and tactfully drawing out the cause of the trouble in this way will often help to solve it. On the other hand, it might be a matter of frankly, but kindly, telling your mate that you are irritated or upset by his or her actions. The Bible says: “Let the sun not set with you in a provoked state. But become kind to one another, tenderly compassionate, freely forgiving one another.”​—Ephesians 4:26, 32.