Who’s Washing the Dishes?

“Who notices a clean living room?” ask psychologists Marjorie and Morton Shaevitz. “Nobody. Who notices a messy living room? Everybody!” Yes, housework is indispensable, unavoidable​—and, at times, unappreciated. Who is going to do it can therefore be a touchy question.

Usually the wife ends up doing the lion’s share of the housework. What, though, if she begins to resent this?a She might approach her husband and tactfully say, as did one woman, “Look, we have a little problem here.” Often men simply don’t know what is involved in running a household. Perhaps together they could outline what must be done, and what it would be nice to do. Perhaps some tasks are unnecessary or can be done less often. They can work out who does what, perhaps according to personal preferences or abilities.

But should a man do ‘women’s work’? According to the Bible, Abraham regarded it as no threat to his manhood to help his wife serve a meal to three important visitors. (See Genesis 18:6-8.) Husbands today are often similarly moved to help when they realize that there is a need. Says one husband: “I pitch in and help with the housework. I admit that at times I don’t really want to. But since we both work, I think it would be unfair of me to do otherwise.”​—Compare Ephesians 5:28.

A problem may arise, though, if the wife expects perfection from her mate, forgetting he is but a novice at domestic chores. (“George! Don’t you even know enough to clean the sink when you’re finished with the dishes?”) Perhaps some patient assistance would be more productive.

Too, there is the matter of letting Christian “reasonableness” prevail. (Philippians 4:5) It simply may not be practical or possible to keep the home as spotlessly clean as it may have been before. “When I was home all day,” recalls Betty, a working wife, “it seemed as if all I did was clean.” But with her entry into the working world, standards of cleanliness had to be adjusted. “We still keep our home clean,” she said, “but it’s a bit more ‘lived in’ now.”