A Woman’s Changing Years

This article particularly concerns women who are experiencing the menopause, or who wonder what it will be like. The information in it is also valuable for their husbands, children, relatives and friends.

THE sun shone gently through the half-closed drapes. Outside, a bird was singing cheerfully. It was a very beautiful morning indeed.

Yet somehow, for the woman still lying in bed, this morning seemed different. She lay staring up at the ceiling with a sad look in her eyes. For some unexplainable reason, she felt that she wanted to cry.

She heard her husband’s footsteps as he came whistling down the hall. But even that seemed to grate on her nerves.

“Time to get up,” he called out cheerfully. When she failed to answer, he came to the bed and laughingly pulled the covers back a little. “Come on, dear, time to get up.”

Suddenly, she sat up in bed and angrily cried: “Leave me alone! Leave me alone!”

Before her startled husband knew what was happening, she fell back into the pillow and buried her face in it, sobbing as though her world had fallen apart.

The Menopause

This woman was having a bad day during her menopause. Usually, things are not as drastic as this, but when they are, the entire family is affected. The husband does not know what to do; the children may be upset. Yet the mother is the one having the bad experience.

An understanding of what is going on can help everyone concerned. A lot of tales are circulated about the menopause. One woman who has just come through it remarked: “Often you suffer more anxiety from what people say than from the menopause itself.” With proper information, no one needs to suffer unnecessary anxiety.

In English, menopause is often called the change of life. But some object to that term. Why? Because it suggests that at this time life is somehow going to be completely changed. This need not be the case at all. True, some women feel a sense of loss that they will not be able to have any more babies. But in their work, their marriage, their recreation and in many other aspects of life, things can be nearly the same afterward or, in some ways, even better.

Then again, calling it the change suggests that it is the only change that ever happens. This is not true. A woman’s life is full of dramatic changes, such as the onset of puberty, getting married and having a baby. The menopause is another change in the series. Hence, the German language has a kinder word for it: die Wechseljahre. This means “the changing years.” What are some things that all of us should know about a woman’s “changing years”?

● What Are They?

They are the time when a woman’s monthly, or menstrual, cycle draws to a close, and with it her ability to bear children. This is reflected in the word “menopause,” which is drawn from two Greek words meaning “month” and “cease.”

● What Are They Not?

The “changing years” are not the beginning of aging. Age creeps up on us gradually. When we are as young as 25, our fine muscle tone starts to deteriorate. At 30, we start to lose muscle and bone tissue, and our hair may start to get gray. These processes continue through the menopause and may be accelerated by it, but they are not caused by it. And old age is still many years away from a woman of 40 or 50 who is experiencing menopause.

Furthermore, menopause is not a disease, although at times its symptoms may make it feel like one.

● What Causes It to Happen?

The body is adjusting to a new situation. At puberty a young girl’s body begins to make hormones that stimulate her ovaries to supply mature eggs on a regular basis.

During the “changing years” the opposite happens. The body ceases to produce the hormones, and the supply of mature eggs tapers off. One of the hormones involved is estrogen. If the supply of estrogen stops gradually, the menopause may be easy. If it decreases rapidly, the menopause will usually be more difficult.

● When Does It Start?

For most women, it may start sometime between the ages of 45 and 55. A few experience it before the age of 40, and even fewer experience it later than average, perhaps even in their 60’s. Early menopause can be brought on by such things as surgery or poor general health.

Usually, a warning of things to come is signaled by irregularity in the monthly period. For some this becomes more and more irregular until menstruation ceases altogether. For the blessed few, it stops suddenly and that is all there is to it. For others, it may become more frequent than normal, or weak and heavy periods may alternate in the time leading up to the complete cessation of the menstruation.

● How Does It Affect Women?

According to gynecologist Dr. Johanna Perlmutter, “It is reassuring to know that most women go through menopause with relatively minor symptoms, if any.” (The Menopause Book) That is good news, but what if you are one of those with more than “relatively minor symptoms”? Dr. Perlmutter says: “Most of those with more serious problems can get help from their doctors.” What are some of these “more serious problems”?

A common one is the hot flash. This has been described as a sudden feeling of warmth that pervades the upper part of the body. The face may flush up, and sometimes there can be profuse perspiration afterward. The hot flash can come frequently​—up to dozens of times a day. It can last for just a second or so, or go on for minutes. At night the sufferer can wake up drenched with perspiration.

No one knows for sure the physical cause of the hot flash. Is it traumatic? In most cases, no. The words women use to describe it are more like “a nuisance,” “annoying” or even “exasperating.”

Other symptoms that may or may not be experienced include insomnia and sudden fatigue. Numbness, dizziness, nausea, heart palpitation and backaches are also mentioned, as are pains in the chest, tension headaches and vaginal dryness and irritation. Is that a frightening list of symptoms? Well, take comfort. Most women have only a few of them, if any. And even if you experience severe problems, there are usually ways to get relief.

● What About Depression?

Yes, some women do get mildly depressed during the “changing years”​—usually so mildly that only they and perhaps their immediate family know about it. They may start crying for no reason at all. Or, perhaps, their husbands and children, whom they loved dearly the day before, suddenly become obnoxious and irritating. Then, a normally well-organized woman may be temporarily forgetful and disorganized. Or she may have inexplicable feelings of panic.

If you experience anything like this, remember that it is not all in the mind. There is usually a biological reason for it. So do not feel that you are losing control of yourself. Give yourself time. Such symptoms, although perhaps frustrating or demoralizing, are usually transient. Relax and the feelings will pass!a

[Footnotes]

[Blurb on page 17]

The “changing years” are not the beginning of old age

[Pictures on page 16]

“I’m losing my youth”

“I’m losing my strength”

“Will I lose my husband?”

Coping With the “Changing Years”

Writer Madeline Gray, who experienced a difficult menopause after a hysterectomy, says: “Your body is a God-given machine. It can do what no man-made machine can do​—repair itself. But this repair takes time.” (The Changing Years) The symptoms you experience during the “changing years” are due to the body’s adjusting itself to a new situation. These symptoms may be uncomfortable, but they are not dangerous. So how can they be handled?

Your Doctor Can Help

When symptoms start to appear, it is wise to go to your doctor for a physical checkup, just to be sure. Often, when a woman first enters her “changing years,” she thinks something serious is wrong. One doctor said: “I have often seen the relief on a woman’s face when I told her that she is not sick but just starting the menopause. It really takes a weight off her mind.” It is worth having a checkup with your doctor, just to experience that relief and know that there is nothing seriously wrong.

Then, most authorities recommend having a thorough physical checkup once a year until it is all over. This will help to ensure that things are progressing normally, and no other problems are creeping in under the cover of the menopause.

Look After Yourself

Some women put on weight during this period, but seemingly that does not have to happen. For one thing, eating less food containing animal fats will help a woman to keep her weight down, and there are health benefits, such as keeping blood cholesterol levels lower. Madeline Gray insists: “A woman does not just naturally get fat during the menopause. And if she does, there is something she can do about it.” She goes on to say: “You may . . . be eating more now out of sheer nervousness. Or boredom. Or as a compensation for other things you miss.” Hence, control your eating habits, and do not allow yourself to gain weight unnecessarily.

During these “changing years,” a woman’s bones tend to lose calcium. Eating foods rich in calcium, along with regular exercise, can help to counteract this. In some cases, it may be advisable to take supplemental calcium too.

Many find it best to keep busy. One woman advised: “Get out of your home for at least part of the day. Get out and do challenging things.” Some recommend walking a little, doing some gardening or some other activity that will serve as exercise. However, do not overdo it and become exhausted. Allow yourself enough sleep at night, and, if you need it, try to schedule a short nap during the day.

If your symptoms are temporarily uncomfortable, you may be interested in what some have recommended to alleviate them. Some women have reported being helped by homeopathic medicine, herbs, acupuncture or chiropractic treatments.

Others have tried taking supplemental vitamins, such as vitamin E. Mary Catherine Tyson suggests that one vitamin B complex tablet a day may help to control hot flashes to some extent​—although it will not eliminate them.

But, remember, if your symptoms are really difficult to live with, your doctor can help in a number of ways. He can give you a harmless ointment for that irritating internal itching. He may recommend intermittent use of tranquilizers or mild sedatives for headaches or nervous symptoms. Or he may suggest supplemental hormones or other medicines that can relieve the hot flashes.

Many are nervous about taking tranquilizers or hormones, remembering that such treatment may have side effects, as does any strong medicine. It is wise to be aware of any possible risk if you take these drugs. However, if your symptoms are very uncomfortable, these medicines can give relief, and you have the assurance that the risks are minimized if you have a regular medical checkup and carefully follow your doctor’s instructions while taking them.

Can Others Help?

The experience of one woman suggests that they can. She reports: “There were two boys boarding in the house with me when I was in the menopause. They were fine young men, but they had some irritating habits. One of them used to whistle a lot. I got very irritated with them, and that made me annoyed at myself. So I gave them some literature describing what happens to a woman during menopause and asked them to read it. Afterward I explained: ‘That is what is happening to me.’ After that they were very kind and considerate and wanted to know what they could do to make things easier for me.”

Hence, she suggests: “Let it be a family project. Do not build it up as a sickness, but let the husband and children know what is going on. This will eliminate much misunderstanding. Then, if one day you seem a bit tense, they will think, ‘This is one of Mum’s bad days,’ and help you to get through it.” This will be an especially good time for the other members of the family to apply Paul’s counsel: “Clothe yourselves with the tender affections of compassion, kindness, lowliness of mind, mildness, and long-suffering. Continue putting up with one another and forgiving one another freely.”​—Colossians 3:12, 13.

The husband, by helping with the household chores, can also assist his wife to conserve her strength and feel better about things. He might suggest going out for a meal occasionally, or in some other way make a pleasant break in the daily routine. And he should remember that this is not the best time to tease his wife about personal things. Rather, this is the time to deal with her ‘according to knowledge, assigning her honor.’​—1 Peter 3:7.

You Can Help Yourself

However, your own mental attitude is the most important thing. Madeline Gray says: “Whatever happens, time and nature are on your side. There will be spontaneous improvement in a few months, or at most, a few years.” Hence, be patient. And to help you be patient, cultivate self-control. Do not give in to every emotion or feeling. Force yourself to do things that you may inwardly rebel against for no good reason. When you feel suddenly irritated, quietly leave the room rather than burst out in anger.

A woman who has already been guiding her life by the principles of the Bible has a decided advantage at this time. She knows that self-control is a fruit of God’s spirit: “The fruitage of the spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faith, mildness, self-control.” (Galatians 5:22) If she has been cultivating this quality during her life, it will stand her in good stead during the menopause.

The Highest Source of Help

The Christian woman has access to the greatest source of help. She can petition Jehovah God in prayer and ask him for the needed strength during these “changing years.” The Bible assures her that “never will [God] allow the righteous one to totter.” (Psalm 55:22) Thus, “throw all your anxiety upon him, because he cares for you.”​—1 Peter 5:7.

Jesus Christ once said: “There is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving.” (Acts 20:35) A Christian woman who has already made helping others a part of her life​—especially helping them to study and get to know the Bible—​will be greatly blessed by this good practice. It will take her mind off her own problems and help her to accomplish things of real value. Together with her own private Bible study and association with fellow Christians, it will do much toward giving her the spiritual strength she now needs.

Hence, if you are nearing the age of menopause, do not be unduly concerned. Remember that the majority of women pass through this period with only minor difficulty.

If you are now experiencing the problems of menopause, meet them head on without fear, coping with each one as it confronts you. Remember, time is on your side. And after it is all over, life can be even better than before. Listen to this comment from a woman whose “changing years” have just finished: “I feel better than ever before. I don’t have the monthly pain or emotional upset. In many ways, after this time you can look forward to a more restful time.”

While it lasts, keep busy with things that will work for your upbuilding. Have a regular medical checkup to make sure things are progressing smoothly. And, even more important, consult the wisdom that comes from God himself, as the Creator of mind and body surely knows what your spiritual and emotional needs are during your “changing years.”

[Blurb on page 19]

An experienced woman recommended: “A woman who learns to relax will get through this time more easily”

[Pictures on page 20]

There are many things a woman may be able to do to help herself

Show hospitality

Fill your mind with good things

Do things for others

[Pictures on page 21]

There are many things that can be done to help a woman during this time

Show affection

Husband and children can help with housework

Occasionally do something different