It Costs to Work!

“I DIDN’T want my wife to work,” a husband admitted. “But when ‘ends aren’t meeting,’ you have to compromise. So she started working, and that’s made things a little easier.”

Throughout the world couples are saying that it is difficult to live on one income. In Australia, France, and Sweden the cost of food and housing virtually doubled between 1975 and 1982. In the United States the cost of feeding a family of four rose from about $67 a week in 1975 to over $100 in 1983! The cost of owning and operating an automobile in the United States nearly tripled between 1970 and 1981.

On and on the dreary statistics go. And when salaries do not keep up with inflation (as is often the case), couples may feel that they have but one alternative: Have the wife get a job. Best-selling author and social analyst John Naisbitt claims that if present trends continue, “85 percent of American women will be working” by the year 2000.

All too often, though, a second income falls short of being a financial panacea. For one thing, women are generally paid much less than men are.a True, some struggling couples welcome whatever the wife can earn. However, the authors of Making It Together as a Two-Career Couple further tell us: “One of the cold facts of life that many dual-career couples fail to comprehend is that it costs money to earn money. . . . Unless they are aware of this hard reality, couples tend to hold unrealistic expectations about the amount of disposable income they will have when both are working.”

So subtract from a woman’s wage income taxes, child-care costs, food-budget increases (two-income couples rarely have time to bargain-shop and often eat either restaurant or convenience foods), transportation, clothing, and miscellaneous expenses​—and there often isn’t that much left from the wife’s salary. That’s why Joanne, a bilingual secretary and translator, quit her job. She explains: “My husband and I both . . . figured out that it would hardly be worth it.”

Families are finding out that a wife’s salary also costs in other ways. And some wonder if it is worth it.

[Footnotes]

A Wife’s Income​—Is It Worth the Cost?

“WHEN I was home all day,” one working wife recalled, “I used to keep our home so clean that I used to have to find things to do around the house. I was so picky. For instance, we had this shag carpet in our living room, and if someone walked over it, I would rake it afterward so that the strands would stand up just right.” She adds with a laugh, “But I’m not that way now that I’m working.” Her husband, though, is perhaps not so amused. Somewhat wistfully he adds, “Well, when your shag carpet is ‘standing up,’ it really does look nice.”

This little exchange illustrates a point Professor William Michelson made in his extensive study of working women:a While many a wife can juggle a job and home duties, her doing so nevertheless “entails trade-offs and costs.” The above couple learned that a working wife simply may not have the time​—or energy—​to devote to the home that she had as a full-time housewife. And for some this is a very costly trade-off.

Many women frankly find great satisfaction in providing their families a clean home and tasty meals. And rightly so, for the Bible commends the “capable wife” who is diligently “watching over the goings-on of her household.” (Proverbs 31:10, 27) As one woman said, ‘When I make something that is nice for supper or take some extra time to do something for my family, and my 15-year-old says, “Mom, you really outdid yourself,” that is so much better, that is worth so much more, than a raise from any job or any profession that anybody could give me. That feeling is terrific.’ So both wife and family may feel a sense of loss if she has to go to work.

Marital strain might be another work expense. Wives often resent having to bear an unfair share of the housework. Husbands may likewise resent being asked to help. Some even complain, as did one husband: “I feel left out a lot of the time. She comes home tired and upset. She’s always busy with the children. We don’t share enough together. I appreciate that she had to do what she’s doing, but that doesn’t make me feel any happier about it.” Work fatigue can even hinder a couple’s enjoyment of marital intimacies.​—1 Corinthians 7:3-5.

Another costly trade-off is pointed to by one husband who said: “You trade off being there for the kids. Our kids beat my wife home by a couple of hours. They aren’t left alone, though, because their grandmother is there with them. But my wife does lose those hours with them. And she could accomplish so much with them by way of training if she was just there.” Not all working couples, though, have a grandmother or a friend who can care for their children. Adequate day-care services are often hard to find​—and costly. Newsweek magazine therefore reported “an explosion in the number of children who spend at least part of every weekday without any adult supervision.”

No wonder, then, that in a recent survey of over 200,000 Americans (57 percent of whom were dual-income families), 69 percent felt that a wife’s working had “a detrimental effect on family” life.

Needs Versus Wants

Of course, a wife’s working doesn’t always have dire consequences. Many couples do admirably in caring for their jobs, home, and children. Still, a couple may be uneasy about the wife’s working, feeling it is causing problems for the family. If such is the case, please recall the advice Jesus gave at Luke 14:28: COUNT THE COST!

In short, this means taking a hard look at one’s financial situation and then weighing the pros and cons of the wife’s working. Does it really take two incomes to cover the basic needs​—modest housing, nutritious food, adequate clothing, and so forth? Or does a second income simply allow more wants​—frills such as lavish housing, restaurant meals, entertainment, or stylish clothing?

Many couples simply do not know the difference between needs and wants. And what results? Says the book The Individual, Marriage, and the Family: “Inevitably, families who have incomes of $12,000 per year believe that if they earned but $4,000 more their financial needs would be satisfied, while families with incomes of $16,000 feel themselves just as economically oppressed as those earning $12,000 and are convinced that if they were earning $20,000 they would be satisfied. Incomes of $20,000, $40,000, and even $60,000 still do not seem to provide enough money for the family to do everything it wants; for as income increases, the family’s perceived needs and its spending increase even faster, so that high-income families are often in deeper debt than medium-income families, who are more in debt than low-income families.”

A survey conducted by the magazine Psychology Today similarly revealed “that those who are most satisfied with their financial situation are not necessarily those with the highest income . . . Inflation is, then, partly in the eye of the beholder.”

Working for elusive wants is therefore like walking a treadmill. King Solomon said: “I have noticed something else in life that is useless. Here is a man who lives alone. He has no son, no brother, yet he is always working, never satisfied with the wealth he has. For whom is he working so hard and denying himself any pleasure? This is useless, too​—and a miserable way to live.” (Ecclesiastes 4:7, 8, Today’s English Version; italics ours.) How much income, then, should a family strive to earn? The Bible gives this helpful rule of thumb: “So, having sustenance and covering, we shall be content with these things.”​—1 Timothy 6:8.

“Sustenance and covering” means neither all the latest conveniences nor abject poverty. (Compare Proverbs 30:8.) So we need not conclude that the man who can afford a nice home or television is necessarily a rank materialist. A problem does arise, though, when couples strive to own such things at the expense of marital satisfaction, their spirituality, or the spirituality of their children. When extra cash is this costly, a couple should start to ask themselves if it is really worth it.

Many have concluded that it simply isn’t. Free-lance writer Christine Davidson, for example, decided she had ‘had it’ with trying to care for a job and a family. Quitting her teaching job has meant less family income. “We’re broke​—all the time,” she says. “We cannot pay a small bill and buy our children sneakers the same week. But it’s OK because I can give my kids something else now. I have stopped saying, ‘No, not this afternoon, I have to work’ or ‘No, not now, I’m too tired.’” Could it be that the added attention she can now give her children is worth more than a paycheck?

‘More Than Making Beds and Cooking’

Of course, not all wives can just up and quit their jobs. And some even say they’d feel bored or “unfulfilled” if they had to be home all day. Said one working wife: “I need more in my life than making beds and cooking.”

Such ones, therefore, might consider part-time work. Professor William Michelson observed that part-time work not only provides extra income but also “enables women to arrange their various responsibilities more easily . . . with less time pressure and tension in the process and advantages for taking care of children.” Some imaginative women are even starting successful business enterprises that allow them to earn money at home. (See below.)

However, the thirst for “fulfillment” will never be fully quenched by either housework or secular work. Jesus said: “Happy are those conscious of their spiritual need.” (Matthew 5:3) It is only when this need is cared for that a woman or a man feels truly complete. Many Christian women therefore welcome the chance to be free from secular work so that they can have a fuller share in serving God. Among Jehovah’s Witnesses, some are even able to do this by spending up to 60 or even 90 hours a month teaching the Bible to others. This challenging work brings them a feeling of fulfillment that no secular job could ever provide!

Make the Best of Your Situation!

Each family, though, must decide what will work best for it. The interviews starting on the following page show how two couples​—who are Jehovah’s Witnesses—​reached quite different conclusions due to completely different circumstances. So it would be wrong to pass judgment on the decisions of others in this regard or to make unfair comparisons.​—Romans 14:4.

Today’s economic realities may leave many couples little choice but to have two incomes. Yet the challenges working couples face are not at all insurmountable. (The February 8, 1985, issue of this journal showed how Bible principles can help working couples.) And since the Bible commands Christians to ‘provide for their own,’ there is no reason for one to be burdened with guilt simply because it takes two incomes to do so.​—1 Timothy 5:8.

[Box/​Picture on page 5]

Advantages Disadvantages

Less financial strain Less time for housework

Husband works less overtime Additional taxes

Wife utilizes job skills Possible marital strain

‘My Wife Had to Go to Work’

Awake!: What do you do for a living, John?

John: I keep records at a manufacturing plant.

Awake!: And you, Carrie?

Carrie: I take care of elderly people, working for them in their own homes.

Awake!: What made you start working?

Carrie: The economy. The rent and food started to go up, and we couldn’t seem to make ends meet.

John: Around here a couple needs at least $1,200 to $1,400 a month to live. Our rent is over $400 a month. Food runs about $50 a week. And we have car, clothing, and cleaning bills.

Awake!: So Carrie went right to work?

John: Not right away. I tried working some overtime. At times I worked 10 or 11 hours a day​—5 or 6 hours on Saturday.

Carrie: Yes, it was very hard for both of us. We never had any time together. He’d come in, eat his supper, and go right to bed. And we still weren’t making ends meet.

John: I knew I couldn’t keep that up for long. You see, I started studying the Bible with Jehovah’s Witnesses. But as I progressed, I began to realize I didn’t have the time for all this work. I needed time for spiritual activities such as Christian meetings. So I decided the overtime had to stop. We waited, though, until our daughter got a bit older. I definitely wanted Carrie home until she was through school. But when she got into high school, Carrie did some part-time work in department stores. And later on we decided it would be practical for her to get full-time work.

Awake!: Did you resent having to work, Carrie?

Carrie: No. I could see the strain on John. So I was glad to be able to help out.

Awake!: How has your working affected your relationship?

Carrie: Well, now that John’s not working overtime as much, we have a bit more time for each other.

John: In that sense, Carrie’s working has improved things a bit, since it has relieved some of the financial burden. But we are careful not to neglect each other.

Carrie: We enjoy sitting down and discussing things together. We shop together. And we plan our weekends so that we can work together in the door-to-door preaching work​—we especially enjoy that.

John: That’s our best time together.

Awake!: What about the housework?

Carrie: We share the load. Each of us has his own responsibilities. I do the cooking, and fortunately John’s not hard to please when it comes to meals. If I’m tired and just make a salad, he’s satisfied. Our daughter does the dishes, and John does things like mopping and waxing.

Awake!: Isn’t that hard to do after a day’s work?

John: Yes it is. But usually we get the work done. I know, though, that I wouldn’t have to do many of these domestic chores if Carrie stayed home all day.

Awake!: Do you think it’s a good idea for both the husband and the wife to work?

John: Not if you don’t have to. It’s not good for a couple to be so dependent upon the wife’s income. What if she gets sick or pregnant? And the extra pressure can be a real strain on a young couple. We therefore hope that one day we can change our present situation and both work part time. This way we’d be able to spend several hours each day in the Christian ministry.

‘My Wife Quit Her Job’

Awake!: Has your wife ever had to work?

Cleve: She worked about a year after we got married. Then she got pregnant and had to quit.

Awake!: Did she go back after the baby was born?

Cleve: It’s funny. After she stopped working, I found I didn’t really miss her money.

Jeane: [Laughing] Cleve never really saw much of it anyway! I used to buy shoes, dresses, whatever​—he didn’t mind. Of course, I always made sure our bills were paid. But if I wanted two or three dresses, I would just buy two or three dresses.

Awake!: Did you therefore have to work a lot of overtime?

Cleve: I remember one time I needed some money for car repairs. So I put in for some extra work. I was working all sorts of hours and making extra money. Yet in six months I wasn’t able to save one penny.

Awake!: What happened?

Jeane: It seemed like the more he made the more we’d spend.

Cleve: The money just disappeared. Besides, all that overtime was interfering with my Christian meetings. So after six months I quit the overtime, and in a couple of months I saved up enough money to fix the car anyway.

Awake!: Jeane, have you ever gone back to work?

Jeane: Yes. Last summer I decided I needed more money, and I got a job working at a day-care center. But I worked for only three months. I noticed a change in my little six-year-old girl. Cleve was working nights and taking care of her during the day. And then one night I had to work late.

Cleve: I had fallen asleep, and when I woke up I couldn’t find her. I called for her. No answer. I checked the windows, the doors, the hallways​—I looked under the beds—​I was in a panic! And then she came out of the closet laughing. I was too shaken up even to punish her.

Jeane: When I heard about this and thought about the way my baby was clinging to me, I began to realize that she was simply starving for my attention. So I decided it wasn’t worth it to work. What money I was making was being eaten up by taxes, lunches, and clothing expenses anyway. So I quit.

Awake!: But still, wasn’t quitting a financial sacrifice?

Jeane: Jehovah God has always taken care of us. And we feel that Jehovah has given parents the responsibility to care for their children. We could see that our baby simply wasn’t being taken care of and that I needed to be with her more. That was more important to us than some job.

Cleve: And again, that extra money really didn’t help us that much. We’re content with what we have. We’re not rich, but we’re not poor either. I see guys on my job who work seven days a week sometimes. I’ve tried it. It doesn’t work for me.

Jeane: I know times are bad, but we really believe the Bible’s promise in Matthew 6:33 that if you seek first the Kingdom, God will provide for you.

Awake!: So what do you now do with your time?

Jeane: For the last three months I’ve been devoting 60 hours a month to teaching people the Bible. It’s a real joy!

Awake!: So you think mothers should stay home?

Jeane: If possible. A grandmother just isn’t a substitute for a mother.