Does this mean that the innocent mate may forgive the adulterer​—at least in the sense of letting go of bitter resentment—​and yet still decide to divorce him?

Forgiveness and Divorce

During his ministry, on three occasions Jesus spoke about divorce. (Matthew 5:32; 19:3-9; Luke 16:18) Interestingly, not once in any of these discussions did Jesus mention forgiveness. For example, as found at Matthew 19:9, he said: “Whoever divorces his wife, except on the ground of fornication, and marries another commits adultery.” By saying “except on the ground of fornication,” Jesus acknowledged that sexual immorality would give the innocent mate the right, or Scriptural “ground,” to divorce. Yet, Jesus did not say that the innocent one should divorce. Nevertheless, he clearly implied that she can do so.

Marriage is a tie that binds two people together. (Romans 7:2) But when one of them is unfaithful, the bond can be severed. In such cases the innocent spouse is really faced with two decisions. First, should she forgive? As we have seen, a significant factor here is whether the adulterer is sincerely repentant or not. When there is repentance, the innocent mate in time may forgive​—at least in the sense of letting go of resentment.

The second decision is, should she seek a divorce? Why would this question come up if she has forgiven him?b Well, what if she has valid concerns about the safety of herself and her children, especially if her husband has been abusive in the past? Or what if there are fears of being infected with a sexually transmitted disease? Or what if she feels deeply that because of his betrayal, she can no longer trust him in a husband-​wife relationship? In such situations it is quite conceivable that the innocent mate could forgive her erring mate (in the sense of letting go of resentment) and yet still decide to divorce him because she does not desire to continue living with him. Letting go of resentment may help her to get on with her life. It may also help keep any necessary future dealings with the adulterer more civil.

Whether to obtain a divorce from an unfaithful mate is a personal decision, one that the innocent mate should make after carefully and prayerfully weighing all the factors involved. (Psalm 55:22) Others do not have the right to try to dictate or to pressure the innocent mate into deciding one way or another. (Compare Galatians 6:5.) Remember, Jesus did not say what the innocent mate should do. Clearly, then, Jehovah is not displeased with those who choose to divorce on proper Scriptural grounds.