In Ghana the most common form of marriage is what is called customary marriage. This involves payment of a bride-price by the bridegroom’s family to the bride’s family. Customary marriage is practiced by people in much of Africa and in such places as Hong Kong, Papua New Guinea, and the Solomon Islands as well as among the Goajiro Indians in northeastern Colombia and northwestern Venezuela, to mention a few.

Payment of the bride-price was a custom in Bible times. (Genesis 34:11, 12; 1 Samuel 18:25) The understanding in ancient times and today is that the bride-price is a compensation to the girl’s parents for the loss of her services and for the time, energy, and resources expended on her education and upkeep before marriage.

The number of people that gather at the girl’s house or at the house of a selected representative for the payment of the bride-price, which event constitutes the marriage, is usually larger than the number present for the door-knocking ceremony. This is because many friends are now present.

The atmosphere is joyful. Young unmarried men and women are anxious to see what has been brought for the bride. But the happy atmosphere tenses as the bride’s family complains that the bride-price items are incomplete. Some in the audience hold their breath when the bride’s family seems unyielding. The bridegroom’s spokesman skillfully argues his way into the sympathetic consideration of the bride’s family. The mood relaxes as the girl’s family relents. The atmosphere again changes. Now it is festive, and light refreshments are served.

To start the marriage ceremony, the bride’s spokesman calls the gathering to order and welcomes all. He asks the groom’s representatives about their mission. The groom’s spokesman states their reason for coming, reminding the gathering that the door has already been knocked on and that permission has been granted to enter.

Each family spokesman then introduces close members of the family to the gathering, including the one giving the girl’s hand in marriage as well as the one backing the boy in the marriage. The ceremony proceeds.

GR: [Talking to the bridegroom’s representatives] Please produce the marriage items we asked for.

The bride’s spokesman enumerates the bride-price items so all can verify that they are there. If the bridegroom’s representatives feel that the bride’s family has inflated the demands, they privately resolve the issue before the marriage day. However, the groom’s family comes to the ceremony prepared to bargain for the reduction of any extras if some of the bride’s family prove difficult. Wherever one lives, the basic bride-price—whether high or low—must be paid in full.

Some families stipulate such things as drinks, clothes, necklaces, earrings, and other ladies’ items. In northern Ghana, the bride-price may include salt, kola nuts, guinea fowl, sheep, and even cattle. There is invariably a cash component to the bride-price.

While negotiations proceed, the bride is not present but is close by, watching. The bridegroom’s presence is optional. Thus, a person living far away can authorize his parents to contract the marriage on his behalf. On the occasion described here, however, the bridegroom is present. It is now his family’s turn to make a demand.

BR: We have fulfilled all that is required of us, but we have not seen our daughter-in-law.

The marriage ceremony is not all serious business; it is also an occasion to have some fun. The girl’s family now responds to the demand of the boy’s family to see the bride.

GR: We wish the bride were here. Unfortunately, she has traveled abroad and we do not have passports or visas to make the trip to bring her back.

Everyone knows what that means. Instantly, the bridegroom’s family offers an amount of money—any amount the bridegroom can afford—and presto! the imaginary passports and visas are ready. And the bride has returned from her trip!

To add to the fun, some tribes arrange for some friends of the bride to impersonate her. Each impersonator is roundly rejected by the crowd until, amid great applause, the true bride is presented. She is then invited by her spokesman to take a look at the various items of her bride-price. She is asked whether what the bridegroom has brought should be accepted. There is a hush as everyone waits anxiously for the answer. Some girls are timid and others bold, but the answer is invariably yes, followed by thunderous applause.

If the bridegroom is present, the bride’s family demands to know him. The fun continues unabated if it has been arranged for one of his friends to impersonate him. With an air of importance, his friend stands up, but he is instantly shouted down.

The bride’s parents demand to see their son-in-law. The true bridegroom now stands up, radiating happy smiles. The bride’s family permits her to join her husband, who puts a ring on her finger if a ring is stipulated as part of the bride-price. The ring is an innovation from the West. She, in turn, puts a ring on his finger. Congratulations and joy fill the air. For convenience and economy, some now combine the door-knocking ceremony with the marriage on the same day.