RESPECT A COUPLE’S DECISION

3. (a) Who should decide if a couple will have children? (b) What Bible principle should a couple’s friends and family keep in mind?

³ In some cultures, newly married couples are expected to start having children as soon as possible. They may even feel pressure from their family and others to follow that custom. Jethro, a brother in Asia, says, “In the congregation, some who have children pressure the childless couples to start a family.” Jeffrey, another brother in Asia, observes, “Some tell childless couples that they will have no one to take care of them when they grow old.” However, each couple should decide for themselves whether to have children. That is for them to decide; it is their responsibility. (Gal. 6:5, ftn.) Understandably, friends and family want a newly married couple to be happy. But all need to remember that the decision whether to have children or not belongs to the couple.​—1 Thess. 4:11.

4-5. What two subjects do couples need to discuss, and when is it best to have such a discussion? Explain.

⁴ A couple who decide to have children do well to discuss two important questions: First, when do they want to have children? Second, how many children do they want? When is the best time for a couple to have such a discussion? And why are those two subjects so important?

⁵ In most cases, before they get married, a couple do well to address the subject of having children. Why then? One good reason is that being of the same mind on this matter is important. Also, they will need to consider whether they are ready for that responsibility. Some couples have decided to wait at least a year or two after their wedding before having children because becoming parents will consume much time and energy. They reason that by waiting for a while, they will give themselves time to adjust to married life and draw closer to each other.​—Eph. 5:33.

6. How have the times in which we live affected some couples?

⁶ Other Christians have chosen to consider the pattern set by Noah’s three sons and their wives. Those three couples did not have children immediately. (Gen. 6:18; 9:18, 19; 10:1; 2 Pet. 2:5) Jesus likened our time to “the days of Noah,” and there is no doubt that we are living in “critical times hard to deal with.” (Matt. 24:37; 2 Tim. 3:1) With that reality in mind, some couples have concluded that they would like to postpone having children so that they can devote more time to sharing in the Christian ministry.

7. How can the principles found at Luke 14:28, 29 and Proverbs 21:5 help a couple?

⁷ When deciding whether to have children and how many children to have, wise couples “calculate the expense.” (Read Luke 14:28, 29.) Experienced parents confirm that raising children not only costs money but also costs time and energy. Thus, it is important for a couple to consider such questions as: ‘Would both of us have to work to supply the family’s basic needs? Do we agree on what our “basic needs” are? If we both would have to work, who would look after our children? Who would influence their thinking and actions?’ Couples who calmly discuss those questions take to heart the words of Proverbs 21:5.​—Read.

8. What challenges do Christian mates need to anticipate, and what will a loving husband do?

⁸ A child requires and deserves considerable time and energy from each parent. So if a couple have a number of children who are close in age, the parents may find it challenging to give each child the needed attention. Some couples who had a number of young children confessed that they felt overwhelmed. A mother may struggle with feeling drained physically and emotionally. Could that have an impact on her being able to study, pray, and share in the ministry regularly? A related challenge is being able to pay attention during Christian meetings and to benefit from them. Of course, a loving husband will do what he can to support his wife when their children need attention, both at meetings and at home. For example, he could help his wife with household chores. He will work hard to ensure that all benefit from a regular Family Worship program. And Christian fathers will regularly accompany the family in field service.

RESPECT A COUPLE’S DECISION

3. (a) Who should decide if a couple will have children? (b) What Bible principle should a couple’s friends and family keep in mind?

³ In some cultures, newly married couples are expected to start having children as soon as possible. They may even feel pressure from their family and others to follow that custom. Jethro, a brother in Asia, says, “In the congregation, some who have children pressure the childless couples to start a family.” Jeffrey, another brother in Asia, observes, “Some tell childless couples that they will have no one to take care of them when they grow old.” However, each couple should decide for themselves whether to have children. That is for them to decide; it is their responsibility. (Gal. 6:5, ftn.) Understandably, friends and family want a newly married couple to be happy. But all need to remember that the decision whether to have children or not belongs to the couple.​—1 Thess. 4:11.