Family Care​—How Far Does It Extend?

“AFRICAN culture tells me that I am my brother’s keeper,” said Nigerian writer S. A. Jegede. “African culture calls for respect and care for one’s parents.” Yes, in Africa and other parts of the world, helping out family members is a way of life.

Often, though, “family” is thought to include aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, and nephews​—even people who are simply from the same village! But as African families leave the rurals for city jobs, such extended family members have become a potential source of problems. Transplanted families often find themselves besieged by relatives requesting money or lodging. Because of the unique demands of city life, however, helping distant relatives or people from the same village is often difficult, if not impossible.

The Bible states: “Certainly if anyone does not provide for those who are his own, and especially for those who are members of his household, he has disowned the faith and is worse than a person without faith.” (1 Timothy 5:8) How far, though, does the principle of family care extend? Is a Christian obliged to provide for extended family members in all circumstances? Or is it as the above-quoted Nigerian writer asserts: “The abuse of the extended family system has no room in African culture or in the Bible”?

Parents and Children

The extended family system existed in Bible times. Yet, in obligating a Christian to “provide for those who are his own,” the Bible nowhere indicates that this necessarily includes all the relatives and others of the extended family system.

The Bible particularly stresses the obligations of parents toward children. Regarding a congregation’s helping him, the apostle Paul wrote: “For the children ought not to lay up for their parents, but the parents for their children.” (2 Corinthians 12:14) H. B. Clark, a famous law authority, commented: “A natural and moral obligation rests upon a father to support his child.” As the God-appointed head of the family unit, the father has the prime responsibility to be the breadwinner. Often the wife assists by caring for the home efficiently, spending wisely, even working outside the home when circumstances demand it.​—Compare Proverbs 31:10-31.

Note, though, that parents are encouraged to do more than simply earn money. They are urged to “lay up” some earnings in behalf of their children. Parents that follow this wise counsel are often able to assist their children even after they have grown up and left home. Particularly is this appropriate when children pursue the full-time Christian ministry and occasionally need financial assistance to remain in that service. No mention is made of parents’ having to “lay up” for innumerable extended family members.

“Due Compensation”

This loving care on the part of parents is not to go unrewarded. The apostle Paul says at 1 Timothy 5:4: “But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let these learn first to practice godly devotion in their own household and to keep paying a due compensation to their parents and grandparents, for this is acceptable in God’s sight.” Such support of an aging parent or grandparent would certainly harmonize with the Bible’s command to honor one’s parents.​—Ephesians 6:2; Exodus 20:12.

Again, note that Paul evidently laid no obligations upon distant relatives to care for such widows. Back then, in cases where no close relatives were on hand to care for a Christian widow with a record of faithful service, the congregation was to bear the burden of her support.​—1 Timothy 5:3, 9, 10.

Working What Is Good Toward All

Though the Bible obligates Christians to care for needy members of their immediate family, this does not rule out reasonably showing love to members of the extended family. At times certain aunts, cousins, or nephews seem as close as immediate family members! The Bible encourages us to “work what is good toward all.” (Galatians 6:10) If a Christian has the means to help such a one, certainly he would not have to ‘shut the door of his tender compassions.’ Indeed, he may feel morally obligated to help.​—1 John 3:17.

Nevertheless, a Christian’s primary obligation is toward his immediate family​—marriage mate, children, parents, and grandparents. He would therefore give serious thought before taking on a responsibility that could harm them​—financially, emotionally, or spiritually.