Skillful Counselors​—A Blessing to Their Brothers

“I will bring back again judges for you as at the first, and counselors for you as at the start.”​—ISAIAH 1:26.

1, 2. (a) How do Proverbs 12:15 and Pr 19:20 show the value of counsel? (b) What is needed first if we are to accept counsel, and what experience demonstrates this?

TERRI is the daughter of Christian parents. At school she had a young friend who was also “in the truth.” Terri noticed, however, that toward the end of elementary school her friend was not as enthusiastic about her faith as formerly. As they progressed through high school together, her friend became irregular at Christian meetings and began to find fault with the Watch Tower Society and the congregation. Terri prayed hard about her friend, however, and constantly counseled her to try to stay strong as a Christian. Eventually, Terri’s efforts were rewarded. By the tenth grade, her friend was regularly attending meetings again and was finally baptized. What a blessing for her! And what a reward for her faithful young friend Terri!

² In view of this experience, can anyone doubt the need for Christians to counsel one another lovingly from time to time? The Bible encourages us: “Listen to counsel and accept discipline, in order that you may become wise in your future.” (Proverbs 19:20; 12:15) Terri’s friend followed that advice. But what if Terri had not had the love, persistence, and courage to keep offering her help through the years? Yes, for any of us to “listen to counsel,” there has to be a counselor. Who should this be?

Counsel​—By Whom?

3. Who are the ones provided by Jehovah to give timely counsel in the Christian congregation?

³ Jehovah God promised to provide his people with counselors in our time. He said: “I will bring back again . . . counselors for you as at the start.” (Isaiah 1:26) This promise is fulfilled principally in the appointed elders in the Christian congregation. Counseling is a form of teaching, and elders primarily are “qualified to teach.” (1 Timothy 3:2) Perhaps the apostle Paul chiefly had the elders in mind when he said: “Even though a man takes some false step before he is aware of it, you who have spiritual qualifications try to readjust such a man in a spirit of mildness.” (Galatians 6:1) But are elders the only ones who can give counsel?

4, 5. (a) What are some Scriptural examples showing that elders are not the only ones who can give counsel? (b) What are some typical modern-day situations in which Christians other than elders offer counsel?

⁴ No. Terri was not an elder, yet her counsel finally brought good results. Remember, too, the Syrian military leader Naaman. He acted on some fine information originating with a young Israelite girl and then on advice from his servants. David was saved from incurring bloodguilt by the timely counsel of Abigail, the wife of Nabal. And the young man Elihu had some wise counsel for Job and his three “comforters.”​—1 Samuel 25:23-35; 2 Kings 5:1-4, 13, 14; Job 32:1-6.

⁵ Similarly today, counseling is not the prerogative solely of elders. Parents counsel their children regularly. Young people like Terri are often successful in counseling their peers. And the Bible specifically encourages mature sisters to be “teachers of what is good,” especially to younger women in the congregation. (Titus 2:3-5) In fact, in a general sense we all have the obligation to help one another in this way. The apostle Paul said: “Keep comforting one another and building one another up, just as you are in fact doing.”​—1 Thessalonians 5:11.

The Goals of Christian Counsel

6. What are some goals of Christian counsel?

⁶ What are some goals of Christian counsel? These are to help someone to make progress and continue in the right way, to solve problems, to overcome difficulties, and perhaps to correct a wrong course. Paul referred to some forms of counseling when he urged Timothy to “reprove, reprimand, exhort, with all long-suffering and art of teaching.” (2 Timothy 4:1, 2) It truly is an art to counsel someone in such a way that he can understand without feeling hurt.

7, 8. (a) What are some situations in which counsel is expected in the Christian congregation? (b) On what occasions may a Christian not expect counsel but need it?

⁷ When should counsel be offered? Parents regularly have occasion to counsel their children, and children more or less expect this. (Proverbs 6:20; Ephesians 6:4) In the congregation, a student expects counsel when he has given a talk in the Theocratic Ministry School. And a new Kingdom publisher expects help and advice as he makes progress toward maturity as a Christian minister. (1 Timothy 4:15) Sometimes individuals seeking help and counsel will approach elders or others in the congregation.

⁸ On occasion, though, counsel has to be offered to those who do not expect it or do not want it. Perhaps someone is losing his zeal in Jehovah’s service, ‘drifting away’ as Terri’s friend was. (Hebrews 2:1) A person may be having a serious personal difference with another individual in the congregation. (Philippians 4:2) Or someone may need help in the matter of proper grooming or dress, or in the choice of friends or music.​—1 Corinthians 15:33; 1 Timothy 2:9.

9, 10. (a) Why may the giving of Christian counsel take courage? (b) Why should a Christian nevertheless give counsel if it is needed?

⁹ When the prophet Hanani offered counsel to King Asa of Judah, Asa resented it so much that he “put him in the house of the stocks”! (2 Chronicles 16:7-10) A person had to be courageous to counsel a king in those days. Today, counselors may also need to be courageous, since giving counsel may initially cause resentment. One experienced Christian held back from offering needed counsel to a younger associate. The reason? He explained: “We are good friends right now, and I want to keep it that way!” Really, though, holding back from giving help when needed is not the mark of a good friend.​—Proverbs 27:6; compare James 4:17.

¹⁰ In fact, experience has shown that if a counselor is skillful, bad feelings can usually be minimized, and the goal of the counsel can often be achieved. What does it take to be a skillful counselor? To answer this, let us consider two examples, one good and one bad.

Paul​—A Skillful Counselor

11. Why did most of the Corinthians accept Paul’s counsel even though he often spoke quite frankly?

¹¹ The apostle Paul had many occasions to offer counsel, and sometimes he had strong things to say. (1 Corinthians 1:10-13; 3:1-4; Galatians 1:6; 3:1) Nevertheless, his counsel was effective because those to whom he directed it knew that Paul loved them. As he told the Corinthians: “Out of much tribulation and anguish of heart I wrote you with many tears, not that you might be saddened, but that you might know the love that I have more especially for you.” (2 Corinthians 2:4) Most of the Corinthians accepted Paul’s counsel because they knew that it was given without selfish motives, since “love . . . does not look for its own interests.” Also, they were confident that he was not speaking out of personal irritation because “love . . . does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury.”​—1 Corinthians 13:4, 5.

12. What quality will make it easier for a Christian counselor to get good results? Illustrate.

¹² Today, too, it is much easier to accept even strong counsel if we know that the one counseling us loves us, is not speaking because of personal irritation, and has no selfish motives. For example, if the only time an elder talks to the teenagers in the congregation is when he criticizes them, the youngsters could easily feel picked on. But what if the elder has a good relationship with the teenagers? What if he takes them in field service, is approachable at the Kingdom Hall, and encourages them to talk to him about their problems, hopes, and doubts, perhaps even inviting them (with their parents’ consent) to his home from time to time? Then, when he has to give them counsel, the teenagers will more likely accept it, knowing that it comes from a friend.

Mildness and Humility

13. (a) Christian counsel should ultimately be based on what? (b) Hence, what must those offering counsel in the Christian congregation avoid doing?

¹³ There was another reason why Paul’s counsel was successful. He relied on godly wisdom, not on his own opinions. As he reminded the counselor Timothy: “All Scripture is inspired of God and beneficial for teaching, for reproving, for setting things straight, for disciplining in righteousness.” (2 Timothy 3:16; compare 1 Corinthians 2:1, 2.) Christian counselors today likewise base what they say on the Scriptures. It is true that, in the family, parents do not quote the Bible every time they counsel their children. Nevertheless, whether Christian parents are encouraging obedience, cleanliness, concern for others, punctuality, or anything else, there must always be a Scriptural basis for what they say. (Ephesians 6:1; 2 Corinthians 7:1; Matthew 7:12; Ecclesiastes 3:1-8) Within the congregation, we should be careful not to try to force our own personal viewpoints or tastes upon others. And elders should avoid bending the Scriptures to make them appear to support some idea about which they have strong feelings. (Compare Matthew 4:5, 6.) There must always be a genuine Bible reason for any counsel they offer.​—Psalm 119:105.

14, 15. (a) Name another quality that makes it easier to accept counsel. (b) Why is it so important for a counselor to develop this quality?

¹⁴ Counsel is more effective, too, if it is offered in a spirit of mildness. Paul knew this. That is why, when speaking of the one who takes a false step before he is aware of it, Paul encouraged qualified ones to “try to readjust such a man in a spirit of mildness.” (Galatians 6:1) He also advised Titus to remind others “to speak injuriously of no one, not to be belligerent, to be reasonable, exhibiting all mildness toward all men.”​—Titus 3:1, 2; 1 Timothy 6:11.

¹⁵ Why the need for mildness? Because uncontrolled emotions are contagious. Angry words provoke more angry words, and it is difficult to reason when tempers are at the boiling point. Even if the one being counseled reacts angrily, this is no reason for the counselor to do the same. Rather, the counselor’s own mild attitude may help to calm things down. “An answer, when mild, turns away rage.” (Proverbs 15:1) This is true whether the counselor is a parent, an elder, or anyone else.

16. Why should one always be respectful when offering counsel?

¹⁶ Finally, consider what Paul said to the younger elder Timothy: “Do not severely criticize an older man. To the contrary, entreat him as a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters with all chasteness.” (1 Timothy 5:1, 2) What excellent advice! Imagine how an older woman would feel if a younger elder, perhaps young enough to be her own son, counseled her in a severely critical or disrespectful way. It would be much better if the counselor took a moment to think: ‘Considering the personality and age of this person, what would be the most loving and effective way to offer this point of counsel? If I were in his or her position, how would I want to be approached?’​—Luke 6:31; Colossians 4:6.

The Counsel of the Pharisees

17, 18. What was one reason why the counsel offered by the Pharisees was not helpful?

¹⁷ Turn now from Paul’s good example and consider a bad example​—that of the Jewish religious leaders of Jesus’ day. They offered much counsel, but usually the nation did not benefit from it. Why?

¹⁸ There were many reasons. For one, consider the time when the Pharisees rebuked Jesus because his disciples did not wash their hands before a meal. Of course, most mothers counsel their children to wash their hands before a meal, and as a hygienic practice, there is much to recommend this. But the Pharisees were not primarily concerned with hygiene. For them, the washing of hands was a tradition, and they were upset that Jesus’ disciples were not following this tradition. However, as Jesus went on to show them, there were much bigger problems in Israel that should have been claiming their attention. For example, some were using Pharisaic tradition as a way to avoid obeying the fifth of the Ten Commandments: “Honor your father and your mother.” (Exodus 20:12; Matthew 15:1-11) Sadly, the scribes and the Pharisees were so caught up with details that they “disregarded the weightier matters of the Law, namely, justice and mercy and faithfulness.”​—Matthew 23:23.

19. How can modern-day Christians avoid falling into the trap of having their own ax to grind?

¹⁹ Counselors today should be careful not to make the same mistake. They should avoid having their own ax to grind, as it were, getting so involved in details that they forget “the weightier matters.” In small matters, we are encouraged to “continue putting up with one another” in love. (Colossians 3:12, 13) The ability to discern when to avoid making an issue of something and when counsel is really needed is one thing that contributes to one’s having “spiritual qualifications.”​—Galatians 6:1.

20. Why is personal example so important in the matter of giving counsel?

²⁰ Something else made those first-century religious counselors ineffective. They pursued a “do as I say, not as I do” policy. Jesus said of them: “Woe also to you who are versed in the Law, because you load men with loads hard to be borne, but you yourselves do not touch the loads with one of your fingers!” (Luke 11:46) How unloving! Today, parents, elders, or others who give counsel should be very sure that they are themselves doing what they tell others to do. How can we encourage others to be busy in the field ministry if we do not set an appropriate example? Or how can we warn against materialism if material things dominate in our own lives?​—Romans 2:21, 22; Hebrews 13:7.

21. (a) How did the Pharisees browbeat the people? (b) How should the Pharisees’ tactics serve as a caution to Christian counselors?

²¹ The Jewish leaders also failed as counselors because they used bullying tactics. On one occasion, they sent men to arrest Jesus. When these men, greatly impressed by Jesus’ manner of teaching, returned without him, the Pharisees rebuked them, saying: “You have not been misled also, have you? Not one of the rulers or of the Pharisees has put faith in him, has he? But this crowd that does not know the Law are accursed people.” (John 7:45-49) Was this a proper basis for rebuke​—tyranny of authority and name-calling? May Christian counselors never be guilty of such counseling! They should strictly avoid browbeating others or conveying the impression: ‘You should listen to me because I’m an elder!’ Or when speaking to a sister, let them not imply: ‘You should listen to me because I am a brother.’

22. (a) How and why should Christians offer counsel? (b) What further question needs to be discussed?

²² Yes, counseling is an act of love that all of us​—especially the appointed elders—​owe to fellow Christians from time to time. Counsel should not be given on any pretext. But when needed, it should be given courageously. It should have a Scriptural basis and be offered in a spirit of mildness. Moreover, it is much easier to accept counsel from someone who loves us. Sometimes, though, it can be difficult to know just what to say when giving counsel. So how can we offer counsel in a way that will be effective? This will be considered in the next article.

Counsel That Is “Seasoned With Salt”

“Let your utterance be always with graciousness, seasoned with salt, so as to know how you ought to give an answer to each one.”​—COLOSSIANS 4:6.

1, 2. Why is it especially important that Christian counsel be “seasoned with salt”?

THROUGHOUT history, salt has played a special role in the preparation of food. It is both a preservative and an enhancer of flavor, so that many foods without salt are viewed as bland and tasteless. Therefore, when Paul wrote that a Christian’s utterances should be “seasoned with salt,” he was saying that our speech should be upbuilding, as well as acceptable and appealing. (Colossians 4:6) This is especially true when giving counsel. Why?

² The purpose of counseling is not merely to share information. In many cases, the one being counseled already knows some of the Bible principles that apply to his situation, but he has trouble either in applying them or in seeing their importance. Therefore, the real challenge of Christian counseling is to change someone’s way of thinking. (Galatians 6:1; Ephesians 4:11, 12) Hence, the need for “salt.”

3. What help has Jehovah supplied for Christian counselors?

³ Truly, counseling is a challenge, and to meet it, the counselor needs knowledge and discernment. (Proverbs 2:1, 2, 9; 2 Timothy 4:2) Happily, Jehovah has provided the Bible, which contains not only the necessary knowledge but also many examples of counsel given by discerning men of God. Examining some of these will help us to be more effective counselors.

Consider the “Wonderful Counselor”

4. In offering counsel to the congregation, how can a Christian elder imitate Jesus Christ?

⁴ For example, consider Jesus, the “Wonderful Counselor.” (Isaiah 9:6) At the end of the first century, Jesus had letters of counsel sent to seven congregations in the district of Asia. These letters are a fine model for elders who may need to offer counsel to their congregations​—and the principles apply equally well when counseling individuals. The problems Jesus discussed were serious: apostasy, a “Jezebel” influence, lukewarmness, and materialism, among others. (Revelation 2:4, 14, 15, 20-23; 3:1, 14-18) So Jesus discussed these problems frankly. There was no doubt about what he wanted to say to the respective congregations. Today, when Christian elders offer counsel to their congregations, they should “salt” their counsel with humility and kindness, in imitation of Jesus. (Philippians 2:3-8; Matthew 11:29) On the other hand, also in imitation of Jesus, they need to be frank. The counsel should not be so vague and so general that the congregation misses the point.

5, 6. What further lessons can a Christian elder learn from Jesus’ messages to the seven congregations?

⁵ Notice, too, that wherever possible Jesus at the outset strongly commended the congregations and concluded his counsel with upbuilding encouragement. (Revelation 2:2, 3, 7; 3:4, 5) Christian counselors, too, should season their counsel with commendation and encouragement. As one experienced elder remarked: “Really, you do not accomplish much if you merely scold the brothers.” When giving strong counsel, elders should not leave the brothers feeling demoralized but, rather, strengthened and determined to do better in the future.​—Compare 2 Corinthians 1:1-4.

⁶ Finally, what about Jesus’ messages to the congregations at Smyrna and Philadelphia? He had no criticism of these brothers. But since they were undergoing serious trials, he encouraged them to keep on enduring. (Revelation 2:8-11; 3:7-13) Christian overseers, too, should not only offer counsel when correction is needed but always be alert to commend the brothers for their good works and encourage them to endure.​—Romans 12:12.

Use Illustrations

7, 8. (a) How was Jesus’ counsel to his followers “seasoned with salt”? (b) Why are illustrations valuable when we are offering counsel?

⁷ Another time when Jesus offered counsel was when his disciples became concerned about who was going to be first in the Kingdom of the heavens. He could have scolded his followers severely for this concern. Instead, he ‘seasoned his words with salt.’ Calling over a young child, he said: “Whoever will humble himself like this young child is the one that is the greatest in the kingdom of the heavens.” (Matthew 18:1-4; Luke 9:46-48) The counsel was clear but kind and upbuilding. By showing that the Kingdom of the heavens was very different from the kingdoms of this world, Jesus encouraged his followers to be humble, and he tried to remove their reason for arguing.

⁸ Notice, too, the effective teaching technique Jesus used in this case. A living illustration​—a young child! Wise counselors often “salt” their words with illustrations, since these can emphasize the seriousness of a matter or can help the recipient of counsel to reason and to view a problem in a new light. Often illustrations help to reduce tension.

9. What are some other Scriptural examples of the use of illustrations in giving counsel?

⁹ When warning Cain that he was in grave danger of committing a serious sin, Jehovah vividly described sin as a wild animal. He said: “There is sin crouching at the entrance, and for you is its craving.” (Genesis 4:7) When Jonah was angry because Jehovah had spared the repentant Ninevites, God gave him a bottle-gourd plant for shade. Then, when the plant withered and Jonah complained, Jehovah said: “You, for your part, felt sorry for the bottle-gourd plant . . . Ought I not to feel sorry for Nineveh the great city, in which there exist more than one hundred and twenty thousand men?” (Jonah 4:5-11) Powerful counsel indeed!

10. How did a modern-day Christian counselor use an illustration to help a young person to understand her parents’ motives?

¹⁰ Similarly, when one young person was upset because her parents restricted her associations, a traveling overseer tried to help her by using this illustration: “You like to sew, don’t you? Imagine that you spent a lot of time making an attractive dress for a friend. But after you gave it to her, you found that she was using it to wipe the floor. How would you feel?” The girl admitted that she would be upset. So the minister continued: “That is how your parents view it. They have spent a lot of time bringing you up, and they are proud of you. So they want you to associate with people who will treat you properly, not people who will end up harming you.” The illustration helped the girl to appreciate what her parents were trying to do.

Ask Questions

11. How did Jehovah effectively use questions when counseling Jonah?

¹¹ When Jehovah was speaking to Jonah about his unreasonable anger, you may have noticed that He also asked questions. When Jonah, angry that Nineveh had not been destroyed, asked to die, Jehovah said: “Have you rightly become hot with anger?” Jonah did not answer. Hence, Jehovah allowed the bottle-gourd plant to grow and then die. Then Jonah was doubly upset. So Jehovah asked him: “Have you rightly become hot with anger over the bottle-gourd plant?” This time Jonah did answer: “I have rightly become hot with anger, to the point of death.” Now that the prophet had answered Jehovah, He went on to compare Jonah’s attitude toward a mere plant with His own attitude toward Nineveh, asking the clinching question: “Ought I not to feel sorry for Nineveh?” (Jonah 4:4, 9, 11) Thus Jonah was counseled to imitate Jehovah’s attitude toward the repentant Ninevites.

12. What is the value of questions in counseling? Illustrate.

¹² Yes, questions help the counselor to find out what the person requiring counsel is thinking. They also help that individual to realize more clearly his own problems and motivations. For example, a person might insist that he has every right to take a drink before driving home. He might genuinely feel, ‘Alcohol has no effect on me!’ A friend might wish to reason with him, saying: ‘But suppose you got involved in an accident that was not your fault. What would the police think if they noticed that you had been drinking? And suppose, in fact, that alcohol did affect your reactions even a little. Do you really want to drive your car when your reflexes are not 100 percent? Is it worth the risk, just for a drink?’

13. In what way did one counselor use the Bible, along with questions, to offer counsel? Why was this effective?

¹³ Christian counsel is always Bible based. And where possible, Christian counselors actually use the Bible in giving counsel. It is a powerful aid. (Hebrews 4:12) To illustrate: An experienced elder was trying to help someone who was no longer active in the preaching work. The elder called attention to Jesus’ parable of the man who had two children, both of whom he asked to go and work in his vineyard. The first said that he would go but did not. The second said he would not go but then decided to go after all. (Matthew 21:28-31) Then the counselor asked: “Which of these two children are you acting like right now?” The publisher quickly got the point, especially when the counselor continued: “How do you think Jehovah, the Owner of the vineyard, views your situation?”

14. What are some other situations in which questions could be a valuable tool in offering counsel?

¹⁴ It is similar when trying to help those with doubts, those with marital or other family problems, those who have difficulties with individuals, or those in other trying situations.a Skillful questions help those being counseled to reason, examine themselves, and arrive at correct conclusions.

Listen Carefully

15. (a) What did Job’s three “comforters” fail to do? (b) How will listening help a Christian counselor?

¹⁵ Remember, though, that asking questions implies that you want to hear the answers. (Proverbs 18:13) Counselors should not fall into the trap that snared the three “comforters” of Job. Job spoke to them, but they did not really listen. They had already made up their minds that Job’s suffering was caused by his own sinfulness. (Job 16:2; 22:4-11) In contrast, a Christian counselor should listen carefully. Thus, he may notice significant pauses or inflections of voice indicating that the whole story has not yet been told. Perhaps a supplementary question will bring out a thought that is lurking in the back of the person’s mind.​—Compare Proverbs 20:5.

16. What is required of the counselor when it is difficult to listen to the expressions of an emotionally upset fellow Christian?

¹⁶ True, this may not always be easy. A disturbed person may blurt out: “I hate my parents!” or, “I can’t live with my husband anymore!” It is upsetting to listen to such things. But remember that Jehovah was willing to listen when Asaph complained that his faithfulness seemed to be in vain. (Psalm 73:13, 14) God listened, too, when Jeremiah said that he had been fooled. (Jeremiah 20:7) Habakkuk seemingly complained that the wicked were oppressing the righteous and that Jehovah was not even seeing it. (Habakkuk 1:13-17) Christian counselors should be equally ready to listen. If people really have these feelings, then the counselor needs to know about this so that he can help. He should avoid subtly urging the person being counseled to express opinions that he thinks the individual should have rather than those he really does have. The counselor should also avoid reacting strongly or judgmentally, perhaps thereby discouraging the person from opening his heart any further.​—Proverbs 14:29; 17:27.

17. How is just listening to our brothers sometimes a way of comforting them?

¹⁷ Sometimes the major part of our counseling is listening, allowing the person to pour out his hurt, heartbreak, or emotional suffering. When Naomi returned from the fields of Moab, the women of Israel greeted her with the words: “Is this Naomi?” But Naomi sadly replied: “Do not call me Naomi. Call me Mara, for the Almighty has made it very bitter for me. I was full when I went, and it is empty-handed that Jehovah has made me return. Why should you call me Naomi, when it is Jehovah that has humiliated me and the Almighty that has caused me calamity?” (Ruth 1:19-21) There was not much that the Israelite women could say in reply. But, often, just making oneself lovingly available to listen while others express their emotional pain can contribute to their healing.b

Be Realistic

18. (a) What were some responses to the counsel from Jehovah and Jesus Christ? (b) What quality should Christian counselors cultivate?

¹⁸ Of course, response to counsel varies. Jonah evidently responded well to Jehovah’s counsel. The prophet recovered so well from his bitterness and anger that he reported his experiences so that others could learn from them. Jesus’ followers took some time to learn the lesson about humility. Why, the very night before Jesus died, they got into another argument about who would be the greatest among them! (Luke 22:24) Therefore, those giving counsel need to be patient. (Ecclesiastes 7:8) A person with a deeply rooted wrong attitude usually will not alter his course just because of a few words from an elder. Long-standing problems between marriage mates will not disappear after one interview with a mature Christian. Serious illnesses can take months to cure, and so may serious spiritual problems. And some simply will not listen to sound counsel. Despite being counseled by Jehovah himself, Cain went off and murdered his brother.​—Genesis 4:6-8.

19. How can the congregation help those suffering emotional wounds?

¹⁹ Those with severe problems should be realistic as to what they may expect from the congregation. A fellow Christian cannot remove chronic mental depression, or emotional hurt possibly caused by a tragedy or a terrible experience. When a person is physically sick, often all the doctor does is make him comfortable while time works a healing on the body. Similarly, when a Christian suffers emotionally, the congregation can try to “make him comfortable,” praying with him and for him, offering an encouraging word whenever possible, and giving whatever practical help they can. Then, usually, time and Jehovah’s spirit perform the healing. (Proverbs 12:25; James 5:14, 15) Thus, one victim of incest wrote: “While incest might be a terrible emotional strain, Jehovah’s organization does a lot to support you, and with help from the Scriptures and support from the brothers and sisters, you can overcome.”c

20. What part does counsel play as all of us endeavor to keep serving Jehovah?

²⁰ Yes, Christians have a responsibility to help one another. Elders in particular, but also all in the congregation, should be concerned about one another’s welfare and offer kind, Scriptural counsel when needed. (Philippians 2:4) Of course, such counsel should not be dictatorial or harsh. Neither should it give the impression of trying to control someone else’s life. Rather, it should be Scripturally based and “seasoned with salt.” (Colossians 4:6) Everyone needs help on occasion, and timely counsel, ‘salted’ with kindness and encouragement, will help all of us to continue on the roadway to everlasting life.

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