• How Can I Cope With Verbal Abuse?
    Awake!—1989 | June 8

    • Repairing Your Self-Esteem

      Still, verbal abuse can shatter one’s self-esteem. Ann (mentioned at the outset) admits: “Sometimes I even start to believe that I’m stupid and I’m not good enough, and that I’m a burden.” How can you rid yourself of such negative feelings?

      Many youths manage to survive their difficult home environment and prove to be quite intact emotionally. Studies reveal that such youths “usually have at least one person in their life who is looking out for them.” As Janet Drobes, a psychiatric social worker, explains: “Youths need to spend time with people who are positive and who value them.” Perhaps you still relate well to at least one of your parents and can draw close to that one. The Christian congregation also has any number of caring individuals who can be a real help and support to you.​—Proverbs 13:20.

      Taking up a productive hobby, such as learning to play a musical instrument or mastering a foreign language, can also help boost your self-esteem. And helping others to learn God’s Word is a particularly satisfying activity​—especially as you see God bless your efforts! (Compare 1 Corinthians 3:6-9.) Says Ann: “Through the [full-time] ministry that Jehovah has lovingly allowed me to share in, I’ve come to realize that I’m not as stupid as my father would like to think.”

      Fortunately, even the worst situations do not last forever. And your parents’ actions in no way doom you to being a poor parent yourself one day. God’s Word can have a far greater influence on what kind of parent you will be than any poor example set by your parents. In the meantime, look to Jehovah God to help you endure. Your efforts to conduct yourself properly in the face of abuse make his heart rejoice.​—Proverbs 27:11.

      It is even possible that your mature handling of matters will move your parents to change. Says Marleen, the formerly distraught girl mentioned at the outset: “All my life it was my mother yelling and me answering her back. But now I try to put into practice what God’s Word says. It works. Mom’s attitude has started to change. By applying the Bible, I came to understand her better. Our relationship improved.” By your taking the initiative, yours can too.