Divorce, sad to say, is usually quite final. However, the embarrassment, the feelings of rage and betrayal, the fear that your parents no longer love you​—these destructive emotions can be put to rest and your life put back on track. As the Bible says, there is “a time to heal.”​—Ecclesiastes 3:3.

This may be one of the toughest tasks of your life. You may rightly be angry with them for disrupting your life. As one young man bitterly put it: “My parents were selfish. They didn’t really think about us and how what they did would affect us. They just went ahead and made their plans.” Said another youth: “Dad brought two lives into the world and doesn’t care about them as much as he does his new car.” This may all be true. But can you go through life carrying a load of anger and bitterness and not harm yourself? Says divorce researcher Judith Wallerstein: “Such anger not only alienated the child from the parent, but often led the child . . . into mischievous . . . behaviors aimed at harassing and punishing the parent they accused of causing the divorce.”

Talk Out Your Feelings

“I’ve never really discussed how I felt about my parents’ divorce,” one young man said when interviewed by Awake! Though initially impassive, the youth became increasingly emotional​—even tearful—​as he spoke about his parents’ divorce. Feelings that had long been buried were unearthed. Surprised at this, he confessed: “It really helped me to talk.”

You may likewise find it helpful to confide in someone, rather than isolating yourself. Let your parents know just how you feel, what your fears and anxieties are. (Compare Proverbs 23:26.) Research shows that children who successfully recover from divorce have “the capacity to reach out to the world around them, to step-parents, teachers, friends, parents of friends, and grandparents.” Mature Christians can also help. Keith, for example, got little or no support from his family, which was torn apart by divorce. Yet he says, “The Christian congregation became my family.”

Above all, find a hearing ear with your heavenly Father, the “Hearer of prayer.” (Psalm 65:2) “Before him pour out your heart.” (Psalm 62:8) A youth named Paul recalls what helped him get over his parents’ divorce: “I prayed all the time and always felt that Jehovah was a real person.”

The Bible advises, “Do not loiter at your business.” (Romans 12:11) Yes, rather than allowing yourself to become immobilized by grief, hurt, or anger, get on with your life!