WORDS THAT ARE “GOOD FOR BUILDING UP”

15. What kind of speech “is good for building up”?

¹⁵ How can we use the gift of speech as the Giver intended? Recall that God’s Word urges us to speak “only what is good for building up.” (Ephesians 4:29) Jehovah is pleased when we speak words that build up, encourage, and strengthen others. It takes thought to speak such words. The Bible does not provide a set formula to follow; neither does it contain a list of approved types of “wholesome speech.” (Titus 2:8) To utter words that are “good for building up,” we do well to keep in mind three simple but important factors that characterize upbuilding speech: It is wholesome, it is true, and it is kind. With such factors in mind, let us consider a few specific examples of speech that builds up.​—See the box “Is My Speech Upbuilding?”

16, 17. (a) Why should we commend others? (b) What opportunities are there to commend others in the congregation? in the family?

¹⁶ Sincere commendation. Both Jehovah and Jesus recognize the need to speak words of commendation and approval. (Matthew 3:17; 25:19-23; John 1:47) As Christians, we too do well to offer genuine commendation to others. Why? “A word spoken at the right time​—how good it is!” says Proverbs 15:23. Just ask yourself: ‘How do I feel when I receive heartfelt commendation? Does it not warm my heart and lift my spirits?’ Indeed, a sincere word of commendation lets you know that someone notices you, that someone cares about you, and that what you did was well worth the effort involved. Such reassurance builds your confidence and motivates you to work even more diligently in the future. Since you appreciate it when you receive commendation, should you not, in turn, do your best to give commendation to others?​—Read Matthew 7:12.

¹⁷ Train yourself to look for the good in others, and then give voice to the positive. In the congregation, you may hear a well-developed talk at a meeting, notice a young one who is reaching out for spiritual goals, or observe an older one who is faithful in attending meetings despite the limitations of advancing years. A sincere word of commendation may touch the hearts of such ones and strengthen them spiritually. In the family, husbands and wives need to hear words of warm commendation and appreciation from each other. (Proverbs 31:10, 28) Especially do children thrive on feeling noticed and appreciated. Commendation and approval are to a child what sunshine and water are to a plant. Parents, look for opportunities to commend your children for their praiseworthy qualities and efforts. Such commendation can build courage and confidence in your children and motivate them to try even harder to do what is right.

18, 19. Why should we do our best to encourage and console fellow believers, and how can we do so?

¹⁸ Encouragement and consolation. Jehovah deeply cares about “the lowly” and “those being crushed.” (Isaiah 57:15) His Word urges us to “keep encouraging one another” and to “speak consolingly to those who are depressed.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11, 14) We can be sure that God notices and appreciates our efforts to encourage and console fellow believers whose hearts are weighed down with sadness.

¹⁹ What, though, can you say to build up a fellow Christian who is discouraged or depressed? Do not feel that you must fix the problem. In many cases, simple words are often the most helpful. Assure the downhearted person of your care and concern. Offer to pray aloud with the discouraged one; you can beseech Jehovah to help that one to know how much he or she is loved by others and by God. (James 5:14, 15) Reassure him that he is needed and valued as a member of the congregation. (1 Corinthians 12:12-26) Read an encouraging Bible verse to assure him that Jehovah truly cares about him as an individual. (Psalm 34:18; Matthew 10:29-31) Taking ample time to share “a good word” with the despondent one and speaking from your heart will no doubt help him to feel loved and appreciated.​—Read Proverbs 12:25.

20, 21. What factors make counsel effective?

²⁰ Effective counsel. As imperfect creatures, we all need to receive counsel from time to time. The Bible encourages us: “Listen to counsel and accept discipline, in order to become wise in your future.” (Proverbs 19:20) Giving counsel to others is not limited to the elders. Parents counsel children. (Ephesians 6:4) Mature sisters may need to offer counsel to younger women. (Titus 2:3-5) Love for others moves us to want to give counsel that the recipient can accept without feeling crushed. What can help us to give such counsel? Consider three factors that make counsel more effective: the attitude and motive of the counselor, the basis for the counsel, and the manner in which it is given.

²¹ Effective counsel starts with the counselor. Ask yourself, ‘When is counsel easy for me to accept?’ When you know that the one counseling you cares about you, is not speaking out of personal frustration, and has no ulterior motives, the counsel is easier to accept. So when you counsel others, should not the same things be true of your attitude and motive? Successful counsel is also based on God’s Word. (2 Timothy 3:16) Whether directly quoting from the Bible or not, we should have a Scriptural basis for any counsel we give. Thus, elders are careful not to impose their own views on others; neither do they bend or twist the Scriptures, making it seem that the Bible supports some personal view. Counsel is also more effective if it is delivered in the right manner. Counsel that is salted with kindness is easier to accept and lets the one receiving it keep his dignity.​—Colossians 4:6.

22. What is your determination regarding the use of the gift of speech?

²² To be sure, speech is a precious gift from God. Our love for Jehovah should move us to use, not misuse, this gift. Let us remember that the words we speak to others have power​—the power to build up or to tear down. Let us, then, strive to use this gift as the Giver intended​—“for building up.” Our speech will thus be a blessing to those around us and will help us to remain in God’s love.