THE CONGREGATION​—A SOURCE OF GREAT COMFORT

12. What is one important way in which we can be a source of comfort to others?

¹² Another source of comfort to grieving ones is the Christian congregation. (Read 1 Thessalonians 5:11.) How can you strengthen and console those who have “a crushed spirit”? (Prov. 17:22) Bear in mind that there is “a time to be silent and a time to speak.” (Eccl. 3:7) A widow named Dalene explains: “Bereaved ones need to express their thoughts and feelings. Therefore, the most important thing you can do for a bereaved person is to listen​—without interrupting.” Junia, whose brother took his own life, adds: “Even though you may not be able to grasp their grief completely, what counts is that you want to understand how they feel.”

13. What do we need to remember about grief?

¹³ Remember, too, that not everyone experiences and expresses grief in the same way. At times, only a person’s own heart grasps the full depth of the emotional pain, and it may be difficult for him to voice his innermost feelings. God’s Word states: “The heart knows its own bitterness, and no outsider can share in its joy.” (Prov. 14:10) Even when someone does express how he feels, it is not always easy for others to understand what he is trying to say.

14. How can we provide words of comfort to the bereaved?

¹⁴ Understandably, then, it can be difficult to know what to say to someone who is overwhelmed by grief. Nevertheless, the Bible states that “the tongue of the wise is a healing.” (Prov. 12:18) Many have found comforting thoughts to share from the brochure When Someone You Love Dies.c Often, though, the most helpful thing you can do is to “weep with those who weep.” (Rom. 12:15) “Tears have become the language of my heart,” admits Gaby, whose husband died. “That is why I get some comfort when friends cry with me. At that moment, I don’t feel quite so alone in my grief.”

15. How might we provide consolation if we find it difficult to do so in person? (See also the box “Soothing Words of Consolation.”)

¹⁵ If you find it difficult to say something in person, it may be easier to provide consolation by means of a sympathy card, an e-mail, a text message, or a letter. You could simply quote a comforting scripture, recall some memorable characteristic or quality of the deceased, or share a happy memory that you cherish. “Receiving a short encouraging message or an invitation to spend time with a fellow Christian helps me more than I can say,” says Junia. “Those expressions make me feel loved and cared for.”

16. What is a particularly effective way to provide consolation?

¹⁶ Do not underestimate the value of your prayers with and for a bereaved fellow Christian. Even though it may be difficult to express your prayerful thoughts in such an emotional situation, your heartfelt supplication in his behalf, even through tears and an unsteady voice, can be a powerful antidote to grief. “Sometimes when sisters have come to comfort me,” recalls Dalene, “I have asked them if they are willing to say a prayer. They start praying, often battling to speak at first, but every time, within a few sentences, their voice gets stronger and they say the most heartfelt prayer. Their strong faith, their love, and their concern have been very faith-strengthening.”

KEEP PROVIDING COMFORT

17-19. Why is there an ongoing need to give comfort?

¹⁷ The grieving process can vary greatly from person to person. Therefore, make yourself available, not just for the first few days when many friends and relatives are present, but in subsequent months when others have returned to their normal routine. “A true friend shows love at all times, and is a brother who is born for times of distress.” (Prov. 17:17) Fellow Christians can be a source of profound comfort for someone for as long as it takes him or her to deal with grief.​—Read 1 Thessalonians 3:7.

¹⁸ Remember that bereaved ones may experience pangs of grief triggered by anniversaries, certain music, photographs, activities, or even a specific smell, sound, or season of the year. Many things a bereaved marriage mate does alone for the first time​—such as attending an assembly or the Memorial—​can be particularly painful. “I expected my first wedding anniversary to be very traumatic,” relates one brother, “and it was not easy. But a few brothers and sisters planned a small gathering of my closest friends so that I wouldn’t be on my own.”

¹⁹ Bear in mind, though, that bereaved ones need encouragement not only on special occasions. “Often the help and companionship offered when there is no special anniversary can be very beneficial,” explains Junia. “Those spontaneous moments are so valuable and bring much comfort.” True, we cannot eliminate all the grief or completely fill the void caused by the death of a loved one, but we can bring a measure of comfort and consolation by taking practical action to assist the bereaved. (1 John 3:18) Gaby recalls: “I am truly grateful to Jehovah for the loving elders who walked me through every difficult step of the way. They have truly made me feel Jehovah’s loving arms around me.”