Marriage Under Attack

The attacks on marriage are not new; they go back to the beginning of human history. Qualities and attitudes that developed in our first human parents have led to the marriage crisis we experience today. Adam and Eve sinned when they gave in to selfish cravings, and thus “sin entered into the world.” (Romans 5:12) The historical record of the Bible states that soon after this, “every inclination of the thoughts of [man’s] heart was only bad all the time.”​—Genesis 6:5.

Not much has changed since then. Among the corrosive inclinations that plague marriage is the uninhibited pursuit of selfish gratification. Marriage itself might seem an outdated institution, no longer viable in a modern world under the spell of a new morality. And the relaxing of laws that regulate the breakup of a marriage has removed most of the stigma once attached to divorce.

Impatient individuals, who seek quick results and instant gratification, give little or no thought to the consequences of divorce. Lured by seductive promises of freedom and independence, they believe that divorce will lead to happiness.

Others when faced with thornlike problems in their relationship turn to therapists and marriage counselors or to books written by such authorities. Sadly, some modern marriage “experts” have proved more adept at promoting divorce than at defending marriage. “For perhaps the first time in human history,” states the book The Case for Marriage, “marriage as an ideal is under a sustained and surprisingly successful attack. Sometimes the attack is direct and ideological, made by ‘experts’ who believe a lifelong vow of fidelity is unrealistic or oppressive.”

Altered Perceptions

Perceptions about the nature and purpose of marriage have also changed. You have probably observed a shift in emphasis from loyal and supportive marriage partners to spouses who primarily expect personal fulfillment​—often at the expense of their mate. The transition to this self-centered view of marriage “began in the 1960s and accelerated in the 1970s,” states the Journal of Marriage and Family. Traditional reasons for marriage​—such as the desire for love, intimacy, fidelity, children, and mutual fulfillment—​have weakened.

Several other recent developments have accelerated the transformation of marriage in many lands. First, the traditional roles of the male breadwinner and the female homemaker have changed in many countries. With the entry of women into the paid workplace, there has been a notable rise in the number of dual-career households. Second, childbearing outside marriage is increasingly accepted, leading to more single-parent families. Third, cohabitation as a replacement for marriage is growing. (See the box “Less Stable Than Marriages.”) Fourth, same-sex unions and the movement to legalize them have gained wide approval. Have these modern trends influenced your view of matrimony?

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“In a society which is used to disposability, people are likely to have that same attitude towards relationships.”​—SANDRA DAVIS, FAMILY LAW EXPERT