“The Dessert Comes First?”

The above is a typical response of most foreigners when they see the tea and sweets put out before dinner. Those brown jellylike edibles that look like chocolate fudge are made from sweetened beans and are called yōkan. They are delicious with o-cha (green tea).

But before you eat the yōkan and drink the tea, refresh yourself with the chilled, moist hand towel the hostess is offering to you. It is called an o-shibori, literally meaning “squeezed out.” In the winter, guests are served steaming hot towels.

Dinner Is Ready

Our hostess has just announced that dinner will shortly be ready. But she wonders if you would like to take a bath first. No, it is not that she thinks you need one, but the Japanese find a hot bath before dinner most refreshing. Usually the guest is invited to go in first. You don’t feel like taking a bath before dinner? That is all right, but at least take a look at the o-furo, or bath.

Even though there are still public bathhouses, most Japanese homes now have their own o-furo. It is a deep tub made of wood, tile, or plastic and is equipped for burning wood or propane, which heats the water to about a hundred degrees Fahrenheit [40° C.].

The Japanese bath differs from the Western bath in that a person washes himself with soap and rinses this off before stepping into the tub to soak in the hot water. In this way the whole family uses the same bathwater, just heating it up a little before each use. The tub is so deep that when a person sits down in it, the hot water rises clear up to his neck. It is very relaxing and a must before going to bed on a cold winter night.

A Banquet of a Meal

Our host calls and says it is time for our meal, or I should say banquet. Look at all the food spread out on the table! It is so colorful and delicately arranged. In Japan the meal is a work of art, where the eye appeal is almost as important as the aroma and the flavor. That bouquet of colorful morsels in the black lacquered tray is the Japanese favorite, sushi. Each piece is a carefully shaped lump of rice with a little sugar and vinegar and topped with a red or white piece of raw tuna or other delicacies of the sea.

Another dish that has been prepared is broiled tai, or red snapper, artfully arranged on the plate in a half-moon shape, with the fish’s head and tail intact. The soup is a piping hot broth made of a seaweed base with cubed chunks of soft tofu in it. And, of course, there is plenty of rice for everyone. A fresh green salad is also on the table, and fruits prepared Japanese style complete the menu. What a treat!

Polite Conversation

After the meal comes the green tea, to accompany our conversation. But what should you talk about? Well, the Japanese are keenly interested in you and your country. They also want to know what you think of them and their country, of the meal, and of Japanese food in general. They are delighted if you take an interest in Japanese things and learn a few words in their language.

Now the hostess may say, “O-kuchi ni awanakute gomen nasai,” meaning, “I’m sorry the meal did not suit your taste.” She is merely asking for reassurance that you did like the meal. So, tell her, “Oishikatta desu!” (It was delicious!) Another of the guests might add the compliment, “Gochiso samadeshita,” meaning literally, “Thank you for running fast [between the kitchen and the dining room] to serve us.”

You will find that to the Westerner the Japanese may appear to be vague when they talk about themselves and reluctant to be specific on certain subjects. For example, if you asked the wife how she met her husband, she may answer by simply giving an embarrassed giggle. Or you may admire a beautiful vase and inquire about the cost. The answer will probably be, “Chotto takakatta desu.” (It was a little expensive.) Vague? Perhaps. But that is polite Japanese conversation. So we will have to learn not to be overly familiar or inquisitive in what we say and ask.