Reasonable Bible Principles

Whether Christian parents decide to negotiate for a bride-price or not is a personal decision. If they choose to do so, such negotiations should be conducted in harmony with Bible principles. “Let your manner of life be free of the love of money,” says God’s Word. (Hebrews 13:5) If this principle is not evident in marriage negotiations, a Christian parent might be making manifest that he is not a good example. Men with responsible positions in the Christian congregation are to be “reasonable,” not ‘lovers of money’ or “greedy of dishonest gain.” (1 Timothy 3:3, 8) A Christian who greedily and unrepentantly extorts a high bride-price may even be disfellowshipped from the congregation.—1 Corinthians 5:11, 13; 6:9, 10.

Who Is Responsible for Negotiations?

In some cultures, the way the bride-price is negotiated may clash with another important principle. According to the Bible, the father is responsible for the affairs of his household. (1 Corinthians 11:3; Colossians 3:18, 20) Therefore, those with responsible positions in the congregation are to be men who ‘preside in a fine manner over children and their own households.’—1 Timothy 3:12.

However, it may be common in the community for important marriage negotiations to be left to relatives of the family head. And these relatives lay claim to a share of the bride-price. This places a test on Christian households. In the name of custom, some family heads allow unbelieving relatives to extort a high bride-price. This has sometimes led to the marriage of a Christian girl to an unbeliever. That is contrary to the admonition that Christians should marry “only in the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 7:39) A family head who allows unbelieving relatives to make decisions that prove detrimental to the spiritual welfare of his children cannot be viewed as “presiding over his own household in a fine manner.”—1 Timothy 3:4.