Parents and Children

The extended family system existed in Bible times. Yet, in obligating a Christian to “provide for those who are his own,” the Bible nowhere indicates that this necessarily includes all the relatives and others of the extended family system.

The Bible particularly stresses the obligations of parents toward children. Regarding a congregation’s helping him, the apostle Paul wrote: “For the children ought not to lay up for their parents, but the parents for their children.” (2 Corinthians 12:14) H. B. Clark, a famous law authority, commented: “A natural and moral obligation rests upon a father to support his child.” As the God-appointed head of the family unit, the father has the prime responsibility to be the breadwinner. Often the wife assists by caring for the home efficiently, spending wisely, even working outside the home when circumstances demand it.​—Compare Proverbs 31:10-31.

Note, though, that parents are encouraged to do more than simply earn money. They are urged to “lay up” some earnings in behalf of their children. Parents that follow this wise counsel are often able to assist their children even after they have grown up and left home. Particularly is this appropriate when children pursue the full-time Christian ministry and occasionally need financial assistance to remain in that service.

The Christian obligation to provide “for those who are his own” thus definitely includes a person’s marriage mate and children, parents and grandparents. A responsibility of this sort exists even when such dependent ones are unbelievers or are physically disabled in some way. It continues as long as such ones are alive. And if one is married, it may even include helping one’s mate to honor his or her parents. Serious marital difficulties have sometimes arisen when this principle has been overlooked or disregarded.

Provide What? When?

Nevertheless, parents should not conclude that they can squander their resources in the belief that they can, at any time, demand material support from their children. Nor does it mean that they should make unreasonable demands for attention from their offspring, who often have families of their own to whom their first obligation belongs. This view is in line with Paul’s words: “Children ought not to lay up for their parents, but the parents for their children.”​—2 Corinthians 12:14.

Nevertheless, a Christian’s primary obligation is toward his immediate family​—marriage mate, children, parents, and grandparents. He would therefore give serious thought before taking on a responsibility that could harm them​—financially, emotionally, or spiritually.